I'm the happiest when I'm thinking of the idea of you.

Well, the saddest too.

I'm tired,
Tired of drowning in my own tears,
Wondering what have gone wrong,
We were fine yesterday, but why today you tryna push me away?

I hated blue, but you adore the sky and the open ocean,
So I opened my eyes once again,
And tried to love ocean as you do,

You know how much I hated being at the beach, the scary ocean, the fear of drowning,
but I keep going because of you.


And today you proved me, the ocean is not scary at all,

You are.

Sometimes I wish....
I wouldn't care too much if;
you ignoring my text,
or
did you think of me when it's lunch time,
did i ever crossed your mind when you're about to sleep.
Or,
would it hurt you of the thought of losing me?

I wish i had all the answer. I wish you could tell me, how you really feel. But then, you owed me nothing to answer all of my curiosity. I'm the one who loves more, I'm the one who put the expectations up too high. I'm the one who keeps hoping.

And at the end of the day, when i decided to call it quit,
It's okay, don't worry.

It's not you, it's me.

Sorry,
I meant no harm, I just want to love you.

Sorry,
I annoyed you, I just wanted to show you how much i care.

Sorry for calling,
Have you seen my text?

Sorry,
Sorr-
So......
I said countless sorry in this relationship.

Even when you hurt my feelings,
Even when you the one who shows no effort,
Even when i cried all night and you don't seems to care.

I think its time for me to go,
I know clearly where I belong now.

Thanks, and goodbye to you.

I'm going far away from reality. Far away my feet could bring me. Far away from what it could take. What my heart, could handle.

I thought I was running, protecting myself from reality. When the truth is, I stuck even deeper on my fantasy.

I couldn't tell if anything real & worth it anymore. Telling myself to stop is not easy. Everytime I tried, its the same pattern all over again.

But fret not, be it a broken heart, sleepless night & tired soul. I'm not gonna give up. I'll be back on my feet and try again. Try all of my plan, A, till the last alphabet.

Just let me dive a little longer.

And if you noticed I'm drowning, let me be.

I just need to get over this pain, and end everything.