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NPt Aug 2021
It's diff for everybody..
but to me the exposure and my influences got me comfortable with the **** body.

As dancer or mover
  I have high regard for the body, specially my own body.

I learned to connect and be aware of own body,
every part, every cell of it.

Always drawn to the lines and shapes that the body creates
how it tells a story and express emotion.


When I got into figure sketching community,
I was able to be sketch human figure and all the more I got expose to the **** body.

All the more I appreciate it and take it as it with no malice or awkwardness.

Taking it as it is, as raw and natural it is.
Then the real beauty of it rise.
Mar 2021 · 358
Stuck
NPt Mar 2021
Do you remember
It is the same feeling of being trapped
Do you remember
Everything is coming back

The heat, the smell of it
Every single senses from it
It is haunting me
Yet I can't say a word to describe it

It is dark, gloomy and sad
What is it?
How come I can't play the game?
All I wanted is to escape!

Why am I still here?
I know I have kept running
I never stopped
But I can't see the light

I have been running
But all along my eyes are blind folded
There's no way I can see the light
There's no way

Not even if I open my eyes
I will always be trapped
With the same senses and darkness
Not letting any light in

It is the game I always play
It is a maze of my own
I created my own trap
And it is all in my head!
I hope we are all doing well today. It's never easy to battle with your own mind.
May 2020 · 151
Quarantine
NPt May 2020
If I start the words
Will it let me catch the emotions
If you see a post
Probably seeking for attention
Then I'll be fine by a validation

Still I am lost
And I can't hear my words
Drifted somewhere
Myself is not here
Allow me to rush
I need it now

I close my eyes
To escape from the same walls
I open them
Because today
I just need to be okay
Hugs to us all.
Dec 2018 · 1.2k
Chat Box
NPt Dec 2018
Your absence is too loud
Too loud that it distracts me
The distraction is consuming me
Consuming my energy

Please **** the silence
Speak, say something
I have been waiting
Every bits of time, I check

What is beyond this box?
I stare at it  just in case I catch you
By the time I have come back
Oh yes, you've seen it?!

My stories are waiting
And so are my questions
Should I live with your mysteries?
Or should I pour in the emotions?

In case you don't know
Your silence is already killing me
Don't let me wait for too long
This heart can only survive for a time
Doesn't it drive you nuts waiting for someone in chat box? Seen? Been active for how much hours?

So tell me in this game.. in this waiting game, are we even playing it fair?
Nov 2018 · 910
I don't really work at 5pm
NPt Nov 2018
I don't really work at 5pm

I don't work I just stare
I don't work I just watch

I watch the sun from a far
I stare at it until it finally goes down

It is perfect from afar!
Lovely to look at.

So distant, yet I still fall in love
Can't even feel its warmth

I don't really work at 5pm
Cause all I do is think of you..
Aug 2017 · 316
WHAT HAVE I DONE SO FAR
NPt Aug 2017
I am facing the world
It mirrors myself
While outside it is pouring
Then I breathe this question

In circles, went three-sixty
Stated my name
One two --twenty-five years
Now counting my existence

Still a long way to go
It takes courage to move forward
Tiny steps wont hurt
Darling, trust me you are doing.. just fine
quarter life as they call it...
Jul 2017 · 1.4k
Meeting Point (Tagpuan)
NPt Jul 2017
May every waiting reveal its worth
That all goodbyes equates to healing
Every time we sink in pain
Our souls are being shaped
Which was never realized by yesterday

Every waiting will sure come to an end
One day you'll say
I'm ready to cross the waiting line
Finally, I get to see whatever is the prize
Now dare to conquer tomorrow

Surely every wound closes
Together memories haunt you
Nevertheless a new you is born
Witness how it will form a trace
Yet today, at least try to rise

In the end, waiting and healing will become one

*Nawa'y ang lahat ng pag-aantay ay may saysay
Lahat ng pagpapaalam ay may tumbas na paghilom
Pagkatao ang nahuhubog sa tuwing sa sakit nalulunod
Kailan man 'di ito nababatid ng kahapon

Matatapos din ang lahat ng pag-aantay
Isang araw sasabihin ****
Handa ka nang humakbang
Tuklasin ang kung anong supresa ang naka antabay
Ano pa't hamakin mo ang bukas

Magsasara rin ang lahat ng sugat
Patuloy na magmumulto ang mga alaala
Ngunit ang bagong ikaw ang siguradong magpapakilala
Masdan mo ang maidudulot nitong mga marka
Ngunit ngayon bumangon ka

Sa huli, ang pag-aantay at ang paghilom ay magiging isa
Jul 2017 · 268
Note to 24 y/o self
NPt Jul 2017
After all, I just wanna be loved
Yes..
Loved - in a special way

Never been there..
I always wonder.. how that feels
Maybe, it is so beautiful

Like the sky
Like the brightness of the sun
Oh everything that I adore

I'll get there...
Anytime soon,
But dear, please don't hurry

just trust, that you'll get there..
Written early this year (2-5-17)
Jul 2017 · 205
Like a Sunday Morning
NPt Jul 2017
It is Monday
Sips my coffee
How do I start the day
When I am missing you like a Sunday morning

How do we get from point A to point B?
Darling, I am waiting
But don't let me wait that long
Not for another Sunday morning
Jul 2017 · 222
Bipolar Hits
NPt Jul 2017
Tonight I end up drowning in tears
Calming my short breaths
Not making a single sound
Sobbing in mute, keeping it discrete

Thought I was fine
Saying "been there, done that"
Another cycle will sure pass
Just like old times, we'll get it through

Was I too used to you?
Long before I have accepted you
And how that demands to be tough
Yet tonight, I realize I am not!

Each day, your senses are going wild
Your mind is out there flowing
Blame it on the dopamine
Now all eyes is on you

Go ahead and speak more
For I only hear your soul
I witness your brilliant version
Which people would never fathom

Though you are loud
At the moment you are thriving
Trying to win versus own emotions
Never did it get easier for you

Try, keep trying Dad!
Don't you dare to QUIT ever again
Tonight please sleep tight
Well, at least try to..
Jul 2017 · 193
Signals
NPt Jul 2017
Green, Red, Yellow
Blinks along that corner boulevard
Three lights to follow
Now the village moves forward

Words, Gestures, Time
Varies along with intention
Countless languages, yet one is prime
Now the man is drowned to confusion

Her to him, him to her
Both starts the creation of signals
Exchanges, and begin to falter
Now those hearts will be critical
Jun 2017 · 330
Detach
NPt Jun 2017
Nothing would change my mind
Don't owe anyone a word

Partly, running away
Don't worry, won't get too far

Made a promise to stay
Don't judge me if this is my way
Jun 2017 · 372
Rewind
NPt Jun 2017
Nigh time,
Walking my way to where used to start
Alone,
Ruminating our conversations

Recoil,
Whatever you may call it
Now,
Everything is flashing back to me

Memory,
You aren't part of it.. yet!
Jun 2017 · 259
Likewise To The Sun
NPt Jun 2017
I stare at the sun, its glow is fading
Sets to west, hides beneath the clouds
Finally, it is now resting
I stare at the sun, and I find it calming

I stare at sun and wishing I could be one
It goes down and ends the day
Hoping I can also say, 'alright I'm done'
I stare at the sun, and end up sobbing

I stare at the sun, there it is shining
Rises to the east, sky is now finally lit
Light penetrates the trees reaches the earth
I stare at the sun, and its warmth is soothing

I stare at the sun and envies its certainty
For when the **** crows, surely it goes up
Praying that I too could be wide awake
I stare at the sun, and I keep going
“the tired sunsets and the tired
people -
it takes a lifetime to die and
no time at
all.”
― Charles Bukowski
May 2017 · 378
D E A T H
NPt May 2017
Tummy upside down
Not sure if I want to throw-up or otherwise
Can't feel my heart
As if it is trapped somewhere

Why of such a young age
Now I just want to freeze
Can the world stop for a while
Breathe, can't gasp for the oxygen

Why him, why this brilliant being
Hold me, somebody please squeeze me
I want to be held in somebody's arms
It's painful, and I'm not understanding

Why.. why, I would keep the same question
And because it is the way it is
May 2017 · 275
Pas De Deux
NPt May 2017
Those eyes met
Thy hearts begin to throb
Melody starts rushing in

Listen to each's breath
I gasp for the smell
Then our rhythm links

Touched, held, gripped
Felt your pulse alone
Music fades in

Bodies intertwined
Something sizzled down to my backbone
Our lyrics fleshed out

Us two, dancing under the moon
We make sounds
We made love
Dance is the ******* of movement and music
May 2017 · 375
Alone
NPt May 2017
Look around, aren't you surrounded with time-******* machines
Oblivious people, do they even really care about your story?
Hey, you don't need to get too far
Pause, the inner you have been long waiting

Oh dear, such emotions swelling
Grab a pen and a note
Scribble that feelings and be moved
Dwell, linger, process and be able to discover

Solitude could be both your best friend and enemy
Be careful not  fall on its trap and don't be consumed by it
But then, it is indeed a beautiful gift, not everyone could afford to have it!

There is beauty in being alone
It takes bravery to achieve that state
It could be frightening or peculiar in the eyes of the many
Neither a crime, possibly a choice
May 2017 · 1.3k
UMAGA
NPt May 2017
Dumungaw na ang araw
Hudyat na ng simula
Simoy ng kape
Harapin ang lahat ng may ngiti
May 2017 · 708
Sky
NPt May 2017
Sky
In this jungle of sky scrappers
Mountains of concretes
Surrounded by the dark air
Noise of cars and all you hear is the fast pace of life

Give it a break
Look ahead of you or maybe tilt your head up
Don't you see a beauty?
Something magical awaits your attention

Hey there pretty!
Oh you reveal so much
A unique feeling every time
And I can stare at you forever

Thanks to you I could still have a glimpse of nature
Your existence is marvelous
I close my eyes and still have that image of yours
You bring me peace from with in

Each day I look forward to seeing you
And how you would look today
It's giving me a different hope each time
Also a peculiar story that leaves a smile in me

— The End —