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---I hate you---
With every step I force myself to take to get further from you,

---I hate you---
With every breath I take trying to exhale the demons you left in your place.

---I hate you---
When flashes of our shared body heat litter my mind on cold autumn days

I..
I simply just hate loving you.
We happen to be opposites

I'm mostly positive                                    
                        And your mostly negative
The glass is half full                                   
                             The glass is half empty
Forests and Thickets                                
                                 Storms and Infernos

Did you realize that you're
The one that destroys
And I'm the one that
Gets destroyed?

We are opposites
That should have
never attracted
Have you ever been so in love
That it hurt?

It hurts not to see him
It hurts to be without him
It hurts to crave his touch
It hurts not being able to hear his voice

****...

It just hurts to love him this much



But his love
Makes it worth it
Free me
From this self seclusion

My brain demands a release

One that comes from
Red paint dripping
Down freckle cover shoulders

Two years clean

From the sharp edge of
Stolen razor blades
Some days are harder than others
But Im proud to no longer need
Those stolen blades
There's a new
Girl that your into
I worry for her
Because I know that
You'll let her get attached
And you'll promise her your heart
But you'll still be writing poetry about me

I wonder why you
Think of me so often
When we both know
That you're trying to
Win the heart of another

Are we destined to
Write passive aggressive
Love poems to each
Other forever?
I wonder...
My thoughts are made of poison
Slowly but surely killing me
The more I drink from this bottle
Of sparkling blue liquid
The more my heart races
-You could stop drinking, you know?-
I could but the thrill is worth the pain

Poison is consuming my body
My brain to my heart
I'm sipping from this bottle
Because its all I can do
Slowly poising myself
So that I can feel the high
That comes when
Your body decides to give up

Poison dripping from my mouth
Falling where it pleases
Releasing all emotion
Back to where it came from
To that glass bottle.
The pressure was to much?

All I wanted was to love you

I didn't want you to change

I loved both the best and worst parts of you

I didn't expect you to be anything but

Who you are

The pressure was to much?

I don't know what you thought

That I wanted because

All I wanted was you

Though I guess that was all to much
I am the listener
Of this broken radio
The one that only
Produces silence

There's nothing coming
Through my speakers
Besides that quiet hum
That happens when
There's nothing but

Radio Silence

That's what I'm getting right now
I deserve this

Radio Silence

Since Maybe listening to my thoughts
Is similar to standing in a snow storm Had it not blowing the
Antenna off the roof
Threw a car three blocks down Maybe someone would like the snow

Radio Silence

Forgive me for I am the snowstorm
And it's affecting my heart in a way it
Shouldn't be because now
I'm the one that has
To listen to this

Radio Silence

It's all I can hear now
I wonder if I'll ever hear
Anything else besides the quiet Buzzing that is coming
Through my speakers

Radio Silence
Hands on my hips
Lips on my neck
Love in your eyes
Swaying to the beat of our love,

The soft pitter-patter of rain falling all around us
Every second of every day I think of you
The way you make me feel
The smile you have only for me

I can not imagine a world where you are not mine

I love you.
Laughter is the best medicine
Today I certainly agree
It feels good to laugh
It feels good to smile
It feels good to be doing
Something that doesn't
Involve something sad
Oh the world is great
When your writing
Poetry about laughter
I need to learn to smile more
I am nothing special
I am not some great love
  I am not the girl of your dreams

   I  A m  A  R o u g h  S k e t c h  L o v e

And if that means that I am not enough for love

Then maybe I can be enough for myself

Because to someone I will be more than just a
Rough sketch of

W h a t  L o v e  I s  S u p p o s e d  T o  B e
I enjoy having
Selfish conversations
Because that's when
People truly say what they feel

I'm confused and lost
But knowing how you feel
Makes me feel less stupid
For still loving you

Maybe we should have more
Selfish conversations
I think you enjoyed it to
Run your hands through my hair,
Kiss my neck softly,
Whisper sweet words into my shoulders,
Kiss me like you're drowning
And only my lips can keep you alive,
Love me with all your essence,
Appreciate both my mind and body,

These are the selfish things I demand of you,

I will selfishly love you, if you let me.
Its quiet
No one is talking
No one is even breathing loudly

I can hear my thoughts
And for the first time
I'm more than willing
To invite them in
It's been snowing all day
And it won't stop anytime soon
When it snows the world
Gets this somber feeling
Like maybe things will be okay

Doesn't everyone love a good snow storm?
Accidental patterns
I see it
Now that you
Point it out
Poems that go
Back and forth
Oh how it seems
Like were unable
To do nothing
But hurt each other
Like Infernos
And Snow Storms

Which will
Smother the
Other on
First?
-2 days ago I would have gladly killed myself to stay alive. And that's all I have to say

-My favorite color was you

-Your eyes say more than your mouth ever could

-These violent delights have violent
ends

-"There's this look of somber on your face when you day dream", he said quietly. "Really?", she asked with stars in her eyes.

-Sunshine ripe tide dancin' all alone in the morning light
If ever you have some spear time you should listen to these songs.

Oceans by Seafret
W̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶d̶e̶ ̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶e̶m̶o̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶
̶U̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶u̶r̶f̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶r̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶
B̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶o̶c̶e̶a̶n̶s̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶w̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶m̶e̶

Guillotine by Jon Bellion
T̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶e̶c̶r̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶m̶e̶
̶I̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶g̶r̶a̶v̶e̶
̶T̶h̶e̶r̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶b̶o̶n̶e̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶c̶l̶o̶s̶e̶t̶,̶ ̶
B̶u̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶g̶ ̶s̶t̶u̶f̶f̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶
I̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶
̶E̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶m̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶ ̶ ̶

All Time Low by Jon Bellion
N̶o̶w̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶a̶ ̶g̶h̶o̶s̶t̶
̶I̶ ̶c̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶n̶a̶m̶e̶
̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶ ̶r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶m̶e̶
Maybe you'll understand my mind a little better.
If you ever have some free time you should listen to these songs

Dark Side by Bishop Briggs
̶W̶e̶l̶c̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶d̶a̶r̶k̶n̶e̶s̶s̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶h̶i̶l̶e̶
̶C̶l̶o̶u̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶u̶p̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶u̶n̶l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶,̶ ̶h̶u̶r̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶m̶i̶l̶e̶
̶O̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶l̶w̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶t̶u̶r̶n̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶

I Hate U, I Love U by Gnash
̶D̶o̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶?̶
̶*******̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶t̶t̶a̶c̶h̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶
̶F̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶b̶r̶e̶a̶k̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶
̶A̶n̶d̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶a̶l̶w̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶t̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶

First by Cold War Kids
̶C̶h̶e̶a̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶l̶i̶e̶d̶,̶ ̶b̶r̶o̶k̶e̶n̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶b̶a̶d̶
̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶m̶a̶d̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶v̶o̶w̶,̶ ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶m̶a̶d̶
̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶p̶l̶a̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶a̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶u̶n̶f̶a̶i̶r̶
̶T̶h̶e̶y̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶a̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶p̶a̶r̶e̶?̶
̶F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶s̶t̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶r̶i̶e̶d̶
Maybe You'll understand my mind a little more now.
I see the world
In shades of deep purple
In warm tones of blue and red
You may wonder why it is that
I see the world like this
I see the world in
Different shades of emotional colors
For the simple fact that my soul
Is the color of warm red and deep blue

I am a shade of deep purple.
That is why I see the world
The way I do.
I believe you to be a bright shade of turquiose.
S h e  H a s  S t a r l i g h t  K i s s e d  S k i n,
S o f t  A n d  L i t t e r e d  W i t h  F r e c k l e s,
A  T r a n s p a r e n t  B l u e
S h e  B e l o n g s  T o  N o  O n e  
B u t  T h e  S t a r s  Th e m s e l v e s
Breathe in . . . . . . . . . . Breathe out
Breathe in . . . . . . . . Breathe out
Breathe in . . . . . .Breathe out
Breathe in . . . . Breathe out
Breathe in . . Breathe out
Breathe in Breathe out
BeatheinBreatheout

Just Breathe...

I want you to remember to breathe
Because things go on
And they get better
We represent
Storms and Forests
In the way that
One can destroy the other
And one needs to other to prosper
But one needs the other to have purpose

We represent
Maelstroms and Thickets
In the way that
A Maelstrom can be violent
And A Thicket can be terrifying

We represent
Snow Storms and Infernos
In the way that
A Snow Storm can be gentle
And an Inferno can be calming

We represent
Storms and Forests
Maelstroms and Thickets
Snow Storms And Infernos

We represent
The best and worst parts
Of beautiful things
I feel like
I'm Suffocating
I can't breath
Thought
Technically I'm breathing
Just fine
This feeling we never end...
Dark Crimson
Flowing from the
Small Half Crescent
On the palm of my hand

I Couldn't Stop
The pain that keep
Banging At My Window
A half crescent wasn't helping

Trying To Breathe
I'm surely drowning

This isn't helping.
Lightning crashed
Against the sky
Clouds opened to
Release a cold
Down pour
Of ice covered petals
A storm of
Emotion and pain
.  .  .
Lost wandering in
The rain
Petals of ice cover her hair
Forming a beautiful crown
.  .  .
The lines that formed
Her body
Slowly faded into
Unfocused vines
Flowers bloomed in her eyes
Taking the place of
Her soul
Thorns escaped from
The cage around her heart
. . .
When asked for her name
She slowly repeated
as petals
Fell from her eyes
"I am from a Thicket of flowers
from which my name comes"
The heart is a fragile thing
to play with
so be careful with it
it can break easily
when it does
the world feels like it’s crashing down
and like nothing can stop it
world’s bend and break
stars fall
and nothing can catch them

The heart is a fragile thing
to play with
so be careful when handling it
they’re usually made of shards
broke pieces of you
not letting them fall
be careful not to get stabbed
sadness radiates from them
only those who are sad can hold them

Oh the heart is a fragile thing
to play with
so be careful when building walls
people tend to break them down
ripping and tearing
stomping and kicking
trying to see what your heart looks like
make the walls sturdy
of iron and brick
not paper and glue
walls made to withstand hurricanes
to prevent a broken heart
for hearts are easily broken by
a simple smile
a contagious laugh
an affectionate hug
a meaningful touch
a sarcastic comment
a sad poem
things never meant to break hearts

Yes the heart is a fragile thing
most people are scared of breaking it
broken hearts aren’t always bad
they lead to
learning to live with oneself
and learning to deal with it all
and working to find happiness
in the darkest of moments
and a broken heart leads to other things
things not often found
like
first loves
and unrequited love
and stronger people
and happier endings
and better outcomes
and dreams long lived
and smiling people
and books unread
and works of art
and classical music

Then

In the middle of it all
comes a sarcastic

boy
In the style of Lawrence Ferlinghetti
Sharp thorns,
A small trickle of blood on
Delicate rose petals,
A thunderstorm to
Take away the memory
Of your lips
From two nights ago,
Your hand in mine
Let's run away
Before it all ends
I can't remember the last time
We kissed
But I can still feel
The weight of your lips against mine

I can't remember the last time
I said I love you
But I can still feel
The words rolling off my tongue

I can't remeber the last time
You held me in your arms
But I can still feel
Your warmth around me

I find myself thinking of you
When I know I shouldn't be

Will there ever be a day
When you aren't always in the
Back of my mind?
Laying On The Cold Cement
Starring Up At The Cloudless Sky
I Can't Help But To Think That
I'm Secretly Hoping A Car Will Come Speeding By
And That All Of This Will Surely End.

Laying On The Cold Hard Earth
Starring Up At The Starry Sky
I Can't Help But To Secretly Wish
That He Was Laying Here Next To Me

Sitting Outside On The Old Porch Swing
Starring Out At The Cloud Filled Sky
I Can't Help But To Think About
All The Things That Happened
And How I Miss It There So Much
I did something horrible yesterday
I̶t̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶h̶o̶r̶r̶i̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶
I feel absolutely horrible
I̶̶̶ ̶̶̶d̶̶̶o̶̶̶n̶̶̶'̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶f̶̶̶e̶̶̶e̶̶̶l̶̶̶ ̶̶̶b̶̶̶a̶̶̶d̶̶̶ ̶̶̶a̶̶̶b̶̶̶o̶̶̶u̶̶̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶i̶̶̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶t̶̶̶h̶̶̶o̶̶̶u̶̶̶g̶̶̶h̶̶̶
I broke a boys heart yesterday

He said he love me
I̶t̶ ̶h̶o̶n̶e̶s̶t̶l̶y̶ ̶t̶e̶r̶r̶i̶f̶i̶e̶d̶ ̶m̶e̶
He asked me to move out of state to be with him
I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶e̶l̶s̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶
He was being very clingy
I̶'̶m̶ ̶u̶s̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶ ̶h̶o̶p̶e̶l̶e̶s̶s̶ ̶r̶o̶m̶a̶n̶t̶i̶c̶ ̶

I couldn't help but feel guilty when he said he loved me
I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶
My heart doesn't belong to me anymore
Y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶u̶p̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶p̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶m̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶

So to you
The dear boy whose heart I broke
I am so very sorry

I̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶h̶o̶w̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶s̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶
W̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶r̶a̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶̶
I̶ ̶t̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶t̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶
T̶o̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶?̶
His favorite color is grey
He tells me I'm beautiful
He has a strong love for the sea
His favorite food is sushi
He tells me all the small things he loves about me
He said "I love you" first

He wants to wake up to me in his arms
And do the ***** things he imagines
He smiles at me as I talk to him about the current book I'm reading
I think he might really love me

He asked me to take an adventure with him
One that's a year long
To a place where he says he can have both the things he loves
Me and the ocean

It feels natural to tell him
That I love him too
I didn't know
That it could
Feel like this

That your smile
Would make my
Heart beat so
Much faster

That your laugh
Could make my
Heart skip a
Single beat

That knowing your
Love for me
Would make the
World seem so
Much brighter

This is how
To make me
Love you

The little things
yellow as the morning sun
these flowers are considered
weeds

when I was younger
i would make
wishes on dandelions

i would wish
for simple things
like a good day
or thunderstorms
that would last
all night

dandelions grew all
over the play ground
of my childhood

did you know that
you can write on
brick with
dandelions

i used to
write my dreams
with those flowers

yellow as the morning sun
to me dandelions are more
t h a n  j u s t  u s e l e s s  w e e d s
This is the first in the collection, Thunderstorm Flowers. I'm not sure how many poems there will be in this collection but for now I plan on having many.
If you pull the stem
Off a honeysuckle you can
Eat the flower

Honeysuckle are either yellow
Or a bright red
There were soft yellows
Growing in the back yard

Those flowers infused our
Summer nights
Their beautifully sweet aroma
Filled our thoughts

Our summer nights were as delicate
As the moon that illuminated them

Sweet smiles covered our faces as
We pretended to be fine
While eating those
Soft yellow flowers.
The third in the collection.
Thickets of roses grew on the side of our shattered home
In beautiful planters my sisters and I painted
Messy little hands covered in primary colors
Mixed all together to make masterpieces only our mother appreciated

I t  W a s  A  S u m m e r  F u l l  O f  T e a c u p  R o s e s

For once we had something that we would never have again
An actual home we could call our own
School after school, home after home

I t  W a s  A  Y e a r  F u l l  O f  T e a c u p  R o s e s

The soft pitter patter of rain on our tin roof
Was my only solace from the pain
That followed those dark rain clouds in through the window
On those beautiful summer days

I t  W a s  A  L i f e  F u l l  O f  T e a c u p  R o s e s
Poem Number Two In The Collection
Sticky notes on my wall
Yell at me to do tasks

-Clean your room
-Do homework
-Listen to your dad
-Get over your feeling for him

I've accomplished 3 of 4
I still need to clean my room.
I'm over you. Can you handle that?
Lay there, let me stare a little longer, give me time to memorize the
       way you looked when you were still mine. Please don't walk out the door, don't get up just lay there. Let me study your face as you
       think of things out of my control.

Can you look at me when you smile, one more time before I go,
       before I close this door and never let it open again. Could you laugh at one more of my horrible jokes. The thought of never hearing
       your laugh again hurts more, never touching your lips again.
Hello,
I wonder how you're doing
We don't talk much now a days
I̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶o̶f̶t̶e̶n̶
I hope you're doing alright
Y̶o̶u̶ ̶b̶r̶o̶k̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶I̶ ̶b̶r̶o̶k̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶s̶
Maybe one day we can talk again
B̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶s̶t̶o̶m̶a̶c̶h̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶v̶o̶i̶c̶e̶

Sincerely,
             The Girl You Used To Love

Hello,
I wonder how you're doing
We don't talk much now a days
I̶ ̶t̶r̶y̶ ̶d̶e̶s̶p̶e̶r̶a̶t̶e̶l̶y̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶
I hope you're doing alright
Y̶o̶u̶ ̶b̶r̶o̶k̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶I̶ ̶g̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶u̶p̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶
Maybe one day things won't be so awkward
B̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶d̶l̶e̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶e̶l̶s̶e̶

Sincerely,
            The Girl Who Used To Have Feelings For You
I'm scared that my love is a toxin
That it will slowly ****
Anything it dare touches
Affecting the heart
Possibly shutting it down
But I only want to love you
My dear I promise not to hurt you

I'm toxic to you
My touch will freeze you
My kiss will steal your breath
My love will be your end
I can't let myself be in love
Not when I know it will end

The same way it did before

With my lovers blood on my hands
   Your blood on my hands
       And a broken heart at my feet
The rain
    Calm my
        Mind
           But the
               Wind wreaks
                   Havoc on
                       My body
I'm thinking of something
Of a smile
Of a kiss
Of a boy

I'm thinking of you
In all the best ways
You make me smile
More than I ever thought I would

And trust me
Your smile is
Cute and flirtatious too

I am in love
With every part
Of you
I know it doesn't count, so neither does this one.
His voice is a low hum
Almost to low to hear
His hands are rough
But can still be held
I am a deep shade of blue

The closeness of his body
To mine makes my heart
Pick up speed

The way he looked at me
That look of playfulness
With underlying desire

I can feel his presence when
He's near by
And he can feel mine

He holds my heart
And I am finally
The holder of his
I am voiceless
I have no clue how to make the world see the things I see
I don't know how 
 to put into words
how it feels to breathe,
I'm sorry that I can't explain
how I feel right now
my mind isn't working correctly

I'm not okay
but I feel fine
All I need to do
Is wait 42 more days
And then I'll be gone
To the state I miss the most
Tennessee.

I'm leaving and I can't wait
I have been searching in this crowd of empty faces
Following the sound of your voice
Tripping over the imperfections scattered around me
Dodging flailing arms as the crowd surges with regret

            .  .  .   bLaCk OuT .  .  .

Falling onto the hardwood floor that was once our love
I can no longer hear you calling to me
Struggling to stand on what feels like broken ground
My soul is shattered
I'm starting to recognize these empty faces
As they belong to my own soul
I am surrounded by mirrors
Have you ever felt like you're hearing your name being called
but really no one is there calling to you...
Writing poetry
Physically writing it down
Gives me a satisfaction I
Wouldn't get from typing

These words
Bleed across the page
Like watercolor paint
Going all the way
To the edge

These feelings
Are like water
Diluted with acrylic paint
Clouded

I am like
Watercolor paint
Easy to move and
Touch my color with
Another and I will let
It bleed into me
Making a beautiful mess

I am a mess
Of colors
Pinks greens and blues
Bleeding into another

I am a mess of emotions
I am from a broken home,
Though it never felt fractured
I am from smiling faces, and sad hearts.
I am from classical music and tough boys,
Always finding things to break
I am from loud people, stubborn with opinions.
I am from piles of autumn leaves,
Jumping in with little hands and little feet
I am from rivers full of living things, and rope swings.
I am from multiple houses,
Always filled with laughing children
I am from gravel roads, and one way streets.
I am from mud pies,
Made with love from little girls
I am of potions, made of grass and glitter.
I am from multiple siblings,
Though I am an only child
I am of the willow tree, healing and holy.
I am from the space between loving arms,
Where I ran when frightened
I am from gravel roads, and one way streets.
I am from a thicket of flowers,
From which my name comes
I am of cold morning air, brisk in my lungs.
I am of leaves and dirt,
still and motionless in time and memory
I am from no light, but the starry sky.
I am of dancing feet,
that belong to the people of the waters that never still
I am of the moon, dark and calm.
I am from towns filled with people,
But not one soul who knew me
I am from gravel roads, and one way streets.
I am from laughter and courage,
Things I always want with me
I am from quiet early morning conversations.
I am from love and happiness,
Friends who will never leave my side
I am of the stars, from which the constellation I was born.
I am from things that no longer make sense,
Though they never did
I am from a wooden castle.
I am from myself,
The person I want to be
I am from hidden passageways.
I am from cold nights and bonfires,
My aunt was always the fun one
I am from gravel roads, and one way streets.
I am from crystal and earth,
Coarse as the wind flows
I am from sacred towers.
I am from the sea,
Deep and always flowing
I am from nothing.
I am from sad things and shoe strings,
That intertwine as one
I am from the little things.
I am from brittle glass and scorched earth,
Once renewed are beautiful
I am from a dying tree.
I am from old towns,
No longer filled with people
I am from gravel roads and one way streets.
I am from closed doors,
Though new ones always open
I am from life itself.
I wrote this in a creative writing class but I love it.
Flowers are sitting in my window seal
They are so full of life
They're a symbol of love and devotion
They were delivered months ago
For a special occassion
From a boy I no longer love

Now there just dried flowers
Stuck to my wall
Hanging from white yarn
They symbolize past love
And how even in the end there is beauty
They've been there since
I fell out of love with him

I can't bring myself to take them down
Even as they wilted
They stayed beautiful
They're a reminder
That even if something dies
It was once special to someone
I now know what its like
To be so confused that you can't function correctly

T̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶f̶u̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶I̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶w̶r̶i̶t̶e̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶c̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶m̶a̶n̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶w̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶h̶o̶w̶ ̶I̶'̶v̶e̶ ̶f̶i̶g̶u̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I love you but I don't and I can't

T̶h̶e̶s̶e̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶d̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶o̶f̶t̶e̶n̶ ̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶l̶i̶e̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶.̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶h̶o̶w̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶s̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶f̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶a̶p̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶h̶u̶r̶t̶ ̶a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶b̶r̶o̶k̶e̶n̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶r̶t̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶r̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶f̶i̶x̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶Yours is still broken

I̶ ̶w̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶f̶i̶x̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶w̶e̶ ̶b̶o̶t̶h̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶l̶e̶t̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶c̶l̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶e̶n̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶l̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶r̶t̶.̶ ̶I̶'̶v̶e̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶u̶l̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶I̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶r̶u̶n̶ ̶a̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶s̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶e̶l̶s̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶d̶a̶y̶.̶ ̶Not every one you love will run away

,̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶o̶p̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶d̶a̶y̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶v̶e̶
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