As I am left here
To make up my own explanation
I’m gonna say it’s because of fear
He avoided intensity
And all those big emotions that came from me
He wanted to
But just couldn’t pull it through
It was nothing I did
Or didn’t do
It’s not a rejection
It is a lesson
On humility
And still loving someone
When they have no feelings for me
He never pretended
Or fronted or lied
He kept everything inside
And my interpretation of what it could maybe be
Falls on me
And only me
And we will see
What I can be
Now that I am free
But not really
I’m still the fool who’s writing about him
In my poetry

No marriage vow, but

something special: a wedding --


that, oops, is cancelled.

a grief
a gift
a collision of moments

do you have any idea?
do you think they said
hello
to each other

on the way out,
on the way in?

do you think maybe
it was never supposed to be mine

always meant
to be yours?

I talk to the Sycamores-
the eight sentinels
ones I planted as seed

Ten or more years-
I touch their trunks
tell them they are doing well

They in turn shelter
and much more
love me as their own.

It’s different with you.
Your words
penetrate me
Like spindles,
Leaving my heart
Writhing in
Delightful misery.

You have decorated
My soul
With the yearning
Of what we could be
and with the pain
Of what we might not be.

I’m gripped tightly
To your essence,
Hastily Drinking
the magical elixir
That you exude.

I will never let go…
Unless you tell me to.

i think it's beautiful
the way your eyes
seem to make me forget
about all my worries
my doubts and troubles
the hurt that you've caused
the grief that you created
they seem to intertwine
with my veins
and carve themselves
into my heart

i have never felt like myself
than when your eyes
untangle my soul

Hyper fixated
my mind keeps on racing
with entwined and abrasive
slights to my native ways and my nature
always finding a way to
sabotage and engrain a
sense of imminent danger
along with the worst ways to
mend and to gauge
making positive changes
on how I appear to myself in my brain
I'm hyper fixated
My mind keeps on racing...