Liana

Liana Nov 2024

While I laugh
Someone is crying

While I dance
Someone just found out they lied

While I can't sleep on my bed
Someone wishes they had a blanket

While I eat
Someone starves

While I walk
Someone loses their parent

While I live
Someone dies

When I remember,
I wish them to feel better
I send them some of my momentary joy
Because maybe
That's how miracles are born

I feel bad that I'm the lucky one, so I do what I can even if it does nothing, and is just a small thought

Not one of my best 😬

Liana Nov 2024

Light Pollution

The stars are beautiful
They always are

It's just
Sometimes
The light pollution gets in the way
And we can't see them anymore

But who knows
Maybe
Tomorrow you'll see them really clear

Liana Nov 2024

They say

They tell me I'm mature
That they forget I am a young teen when they talk to me
Or look at me
That I think far too much
And far too deeply
For someone just in middle school

And though
I know that they say it with love
But it is sad to me
For I was not born this way
Things had to shape me
And make me grow up quicker than I should have

I had to be the responsible person
Way too often
I had to comfort my father as if he was my child
I had to learn to analyze people
To keep myself safe

I have always wished I was older
So this wouldn't be weird
But I also wished I would be younger
So I could be carefree for once

Self awareness kills me slowly
I fear I have too much

I don't know

Liana Nov 2024

An I for an Eye

You took my vision of the world
my childhood
And how I think
And crumbled it before me
You were just thinking of yourself
For yourself
You did these things
Manipulated me
Until I questioned myself
And what I could see
Often I didn't see you stabbing me
For you had taken my eye
An I for an Eye is what happened
Don't even try to lie

Starting to recognize it better, learning not to trust or belive

Liana Nov 2024

I will observe it

When things get to be to much
I change my perspective
I am no longer there
In the place
Or with the people causing me stress

Im simply observing
For my own pleasure
In some way
Like I have the controller
To a video game
I am always playing
But I'm not in

Or maybe for "Scientific purposes"

Liana Nov 2024

The world plays favorites

I walk in the hallways
And I hear someone say
"This is the worst day of my life"
And we just had class together
And I know
Someone stole a pencil of his

I can't help but wonder
How could it be
That for someone it might be losing a pencil
And some it might be getting beat really bad one day
seeing a parent being put in jail, maybe leave
Or seeing your father say he wants to die
And get on his knees crying and shouting
In the middle of the street
Oh why
Oh why

I swear the world plays favorites

To be clear only the last one happened to me, thankfully

Nov 2024

Kaiden Lewis

Until

"You're so talented"
Until they find out it's because writing is the only way to keep me from losing sanity

"You're so mature"
Until they find out it's because i was forced to grow up way too fast

"You're so responsible"
Until they find out i ran away at 13

"You're such a good friend"
Until they find out i have a different personality for each one of them

"You're so helpful"
Until they find out that no matter what i do, i can't say no

"You're such a good Christian"
Until they find out i'm gay

"You're such a pretty girl"
Until they find out i'm not even a girl

"You're such a good brother"
Until they find out i almost killed mine

"You're so strong"
Until they find out i almost gave up

They love you until they find out something about you that they hate

#hate #abuse #useless #trauma