I’ve figured it out.
How to play the game.
How to place the pieces on the board
And get checkmate.
How to twist your mind into thinking something else.
How to manipulate your heart that you feel another way.
How to trick your body into saying “im full” when your starving.
How to lie your way out and believe its all in play.
How to see without seeing and scream without crying.
How to gaslight your own tortured traits.
How to trick your teenage mind.
This thing that I call a game,
something only the matured would master.
Is named, Your Teenaged Years.
And that’s how your play.

I danced with the devil because He had the prettiest eyes I've ever seen in my life.

So we always talk about how
we miss the made-up version
of who they were to us.
how much we miss them,
and the fantasy world of who we truly
wanted them to be,
who they never were.
but we never stop to think
that maybe,
We were once made up in theirs too?
or someone in our lives,
see our chapter as just a waste of time.
maybe, they were too
living in this candy-cane world
of who we were.

Or get lost with the lord.
Go down the dark paths
With His light,
From the inside.
Get thrown into fire,
And come out cold.
Get tossed around, called *****
And walk out clean.
Touch once a stick,
But now a snake.
It's not rules,
But a veil torn open,
Giving a relationship.
A love undying, abiding.
But it will not be chosen
On a good day.
It's at your worst, in your room,
On your floor,
Crying, breaking down,
Soaring with sorrow,
Overwhelmed with pain.
This voice will call out,
They will touch you,
And speak.
“My child, you are safe.”
This voice will tell you,
This pain,
Puddle of tears and
Mistakes made.
It is all erased,
By His love.
Most think this experience
Will happen when you are okay,
Once you make it out of the fight
Stable, win your war.
But He is not that way.
He fights your fights and wins your wars.
He will pick up your sword,
When you have fallen.
When you give up,
And don’t want to even blink
Anymore.
When you’re curled into a ball
in your bed, or on your floor,
With scars and marks, blood dripping
Down your legs and arms.
Only then will he take you by your hand,
Heal your cuts, inside and out.
That is how, He works.
That is the difference between the world and Him.
The world will weigh you down over time,
The burden on your shoulders.
But He will be the unto your feet,
The burden and mistakes you carry
Will be released.
The devil will pound on you
And hammer at your heart
Until your fall, until you are shattered,
And the pieces are lost.
But, He will wait until you are done,
In your most vulnerable state,
To open your eyes and to drop the veil.
He will find those pieces that you thought
Were forever lost.
Becuase that,
Is who He is.

His eyes
Meet mine,
And they sparkle.
Light the night sky.
They build the days I look forward to.
Deep ocean blue,
When we swim so deep
That blue turns to green.
A beautiful pool
Of dark blue,
Mixed in with hazel and
Patches of green.
They look at me.
And inside i want to scream,
But outside i smile back at him,
As he smiles at me.
And he looks with such care,
And caution.
Love, and passion.
Sometimes, when im sad.
He gives this look,
Of sorrow and empathy.
True love and understanding.
Sometimes,
his eyes say
‘I love you’
When they look into mine.
And with not just my eyes,
But my voice
I will tell him,
‘I love you, too’.

Your lips,
Your breath,
Your kiss,
Your stare,
Your weight.
Your lips as they brush against
My skin,
Ignite a fire inside and send lightning
To my stomach. You kiss so perfect
And so calm and compassionate.
As you touch me
The butterflies swarm my gut,
And a storm sent
From somewhere up above.
Your stare is smooth,
Your glare is something through
What others only dream,
And mine come true.
Your weight against me,
It builds up the warmth in my heart.
I look down at your face,
Your nose and lips.
Your eyes and brows covered
From the hood of your jacket.
Your lips sit
So Perfectly
As the weight of you layed on me.
You sleep, I stare. Admire the sight
Of what will always be mine.