No matter how much you try you fail
Pushing to the limits for everyone else
Only to leave nothing for yourself
Only left with a tormented hell
Tugging at every end
Incessantly and
Depressingly
Losing a lover and friend
How far can you push
Til the pull overcomes
And the darkness succumbs
The silence that hums so heartless
In the end, it’s never enough
Why pretend and keep up the bluff
You’re losing yourself, this whirlwind is swirling
Your mind won’t stop turning, the anger is burning
And all that’s returning is a yearning
That your heart and my mind will eventually stop hurting.

When all light fades what are you left with
Dark escapades enrapturing strange myth
Subtle silence surrounding a jack fifth
Outdated midevil adventure call it a black sith
Sitting by candle light waiting for it to come
Wondering if I'll handle it right, if I'll end up numb
Will it be the last night, has it finally come?
Or will this be my last night, will it all be done?
Heart's racing, blood's rising is this how it's supposed to feel?
Vision's fading, that's surprising life is getting really real
I've lost myself, I've lost my mind, I wonder what's left to lose?
I've got top shelf, herb to grind, I wonder which one that I'll choose
Neither will do, they're never enough
The handle isn't much to handle
Coke will do, Shrooms are the stuff
You're Setting the the perfect example
To ensure that they grow
Because you know that they see
Not long til they know how it all effects me
The struggle is real, the struggle keeps going
The pain that I feel, from everyone knowing
Perpetuates the reel that is constantly flowing
Approaching the steel, the line started showing
But My breathing is slowing as life gets unreal.
and still I will take the pill
until I feel it fill
The empty hole inside that proves that life just isn't real.

So conflicted, my feelings or yours
Which do I care for more
That’s silly, as course it’s yours
That’s why when you hurt me
I stay silent
Words stay hidden entirely
Why not set them free
Will I feel better
If you are as hurt as me
You monster, how could you
Was it worth it
Ruining the best thing you’ve ever had
We both know that this is true
I can see it, smell and feel it
Back and forth incessantly it plays
Everything is over, except the images
Do they ever cease
Or do they stay til my soul is set free
Is feeling numb better then pain
Or will I be saved by a girl with a different name

As the saying goes
Tis better to have loved and lost
Then never loved at all
But as close as we got
The farther that became
Now all love is lost
The pain tho is never lost
It has omnipresently camouflaged itself
Stalking your every movement
Which pain carves deeper
Thoughts of when everything was perfect
Or the look in your eyes
When you stare into mine
And see that your true love
No longer feels a thing at all.

As hard as you push, As much as I bleed,
The tension between, Is not what we need.

Which hurts you the worst, to love or to lose
The left or the right,which way do you choose
You stab, I scream, we both hit the floor,
I’ve loved and I’ve lost, but I miss the before.

Before all the *******, before all the pain
Before all the battlescars, caused by your name
Before the initial, before the conclusion
Before the beginning of this war that we’re losing

After the tears, and all of the bloodshed
The knife in my chest, you know that I am dead
You think, you think, oh what have I done
The lights are all out, no longer is this fun

Do you miss the before, when the fun was just harmless
Do you miss the before, or enjoy being heartless
Do you think of the after, or can you not see
The killer inside, was all along just me.

Sometimes in life there's things you cannot see.
How the wind lifts a kite or love to you from me
Although it is intangible I know that you believe
Our souls are intertwining as they interweave
Years have past how quick a decade flies
Wonder where the time has gone I've lost it in your eyes
Not long ago we'd thought of nothing only of demise
Soon live together get a backrub what a nice surprise

Do you remember where
You absondoned my soul
Did you even feel it
When you took a part of my whole
I can’t say I’m broken
But neither am I complete
Secrets passed along
From an innocent bedsheet
Carried secrets unbenounced to all
Some things life will not keep
Where does this leave all we know
Maybe you know more than I
Or has the web gone too deep
But where does this leave me
With the secrets you thought you could keep.

Why is it that no matter what you do I love you
I take until my cup has overflown
Til my sanity is long gone
And my emotions have grown cold
The torment you’ve put me thru
The tears that fell because of you
All had faded to a peaceful bliss
Until you return to wreak havoc
Only to take what’s left of me
To make sure that I’ll never forget you
You’ve solidified that fantasy
So many things I’ll never forget
With all of these scars how could I
How do you sleep at night
Being what you are, seeing what you’ve become
follow suit, stay true to the reputation
But I have an unexpected weapon
Let’s see if you can forget my scars.