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Matt Jun 2016
Behold
The great do nothing is here

He's here to do nothing
During all times
Of year

When the world ends
I will not shed a tear

The world will end
It's nothing to fear
Matt Aug 2015
On my walk
I did see

One kitty
On the porch
Underneath

The shade of small tree

And two Siamese cats
On driveway
Looking at me

Earth the dreamworld
Behold the kitties three
Matt Jan 2015
Being as Is
Food and clothes sustain
Body and life;
I advise you to learn
Being as is.
When it's time,
I move my hermitage and go,
And there's nothing
To be left behind.
P'ang Yün
Matt Mar 2014
What comes from the high places
And goes to the low places
What is present everywhere
And when you try to grasp it
It disappears

Be like water

Form is Emptiness
Emptiness is Form
I would like to give special recognition to Allen Ginsberg.  I began the journey of practicing Buddhism after listening to his reading of the Prajnaparamita Hridaya Sutra (The Heart Sutra).
Matt Feb 2015
Love

Inner calm
Loving compassion
Kind-heartedness
Ceasing and extinction of desires
Neither rising or falling

Benevolence toward all beings
Unconditional love
Patience and understanding

The Tao is like water
It nourishes all beings
Like water it is good
It nourishes all
Like water it sinks to the low place
Not claiming credit
Water flows downhill
Non striving

Humility, forgiveness
Peace be with you

Love
Love for all people
In all times and places

Loving nature
Go with nature

In giving we receive

Love
Matt Jan 2015
I'll probably never meet a woman
I'll live alone
Oh well
Expect nothing, nothing comes
Emptiness of existence
Better to be alone
To rely on myself
Matt Feb 2015
So Many Fixed Feelings

Loneliness
Emptiness
Pain

Searching
Wandering
Nothing Leads to Nothing

Feeling love for a woman
Her marrying someone else

Some place this earth

Nobody Ever Knows Anybody

There was some guy named Jesus
Who is supposed to understand
And give a **** about me

Hey Jesus guy
You tell the creator
I don't think much of this place sometimes

Well, at least there is golf
Now there is something I can really love

And still
After all the horrible
Things that have happened

I go on
To go beyond
To try to fulfill my dreams
Matt Feb 2016
The middle aged Asian man
He told me
"Mom said it would be cold"

He wished me a good game
As I bought my golf *****

There was the cradle moon
Like Rock-a-by-baby

There were the toddlers
Running around grandma

My eyes have seen
They have seen

There was the man
At the sporting goods store

He was looking to exchange his bag
I asked him where he liked to play
He said, "San Dimas"
I told him I loved it there too

He told me it was good
Talking to me

I told him to take care
He told me, "He'll take it
Anyway he can get it"

There was the man
In the Christian chat room
Eyes filled with such love
I know who he's been
Talking to

And be practical please
Get the things you need

It's not an automatic process
I'm not taking anything for granted

I'm getting ready
For a Third World War
And you should to

Just look at human beings
And the terrible things they can do

My name is Matt
My heart beats true

Nothing to fear
King of Kings will
One day be here
I liked this poem, hehe.
Matt Dec 2015
Can you have big mind?
Can you encompass
All things
At once?

I can't imagine
All times
And places
At once

Because I don't know
What they look like

Still I would enjoy
Being able to see
The whole world
At one time

To see all the beautiful
Countries

To see dolphins
Swimming in the Amazon

To see a French man
Sitting down to his roasted veal

To see an Aborignal tribe
Perform a native dance in Australia

To witness the turtles
Sunning themselves
On the Galapagos Islands

I can see all these places
I can watch the people
As they laugh
And hug
Across the world

BUT I AM ALONE
ALONE IN AMERICA

I am a Protestant
Here we value individualism

I want to exchange ideas
Share laughter
With a few people
For hours on end

No group of friends
No native culture
It's just me

Just me me me
Alone, alone, alone

Much of the time
Matt Mar 2015
Birds Move Across Sky
Then dissappear

Just like life
Matt May 2015
B is For Buckler
Contains less than 0.5% alcohol by volume

Imported from Holland
And only 75 calories

Hard to beat a Buckler
Awfully hard
Buckler beer
Matt Sep 2016
This world is threatening me

This giant abyss

This newsman
Is bla-bla-blabbing

But he's just part
Of the program

I won't name
Her name

I wouldn't want
Her to be seen in a bad light

And although I think
Of the fun times we had
They are gone...

And she was just playing after all
She never really cared
That much

I mean I'll give her some credit
But people love money
Most of all

Remember that

The love of money
Is the root of all evil
Matt Jan 2017
I don't work
I don't care

I hardly made any money
When I did work
So I figured
There was no point

I would rather read
At the library

I find these people
Obnoxious

I'll just inherit
Their assets
When they pass away

I hate this place
These people
Are annoying

Trump
Is he
The last American president?

"Abraham Lincoln is smiling
Knowing that Trump has come
To save America"

This according to some actor

I've learned not to care
What others think
And ignore
Their mean insults
Some people just ****
Matt Aug 2016
Doing the same thing
At the same time
Bleh

I couldn't imagine the
Horror of it all

It's 11:25
And I just ate
Some peanut butter

He is excited
To get his medicaid
Part of a health care system
That does not function well

She laughed at the fact
That I had 68 cents in my account

Hah so funny
Yes I'm poor
So are you

You haven't done
A ******* thing in thirty years
Except watch the evening news

So you can just shut up
Matt Apr 2017
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah

Goals
Area managers
Deadlines

Blah blah blah
This is her life

Lady next to me
Blah black blabbing

Andre's team
Blah blah blah

Gabby
Has been in the role
For 6 and 7 months

Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
Matt May 2016
I don't care
Too much
About money

I'm poor
And I think it's funny
How these people

Keep
Blah blah blabbing
About the money
Matt Jun 2016
It turns out
That yesterday
Was the same
As today

And it's mostly
All the same

And everything
Is A-okay

And I'll be sitting
In this same place
Next Year
In the month of May

On and on
It comes and goes

All I can say
Is this place
***** and Blows

:). slurp slurp. Hehe

It ***** a big one
Yes it does

And i like writing
About *******
Just because...
Matt Aug 2016
I believe in a world
Without objectives
Without goals

Mostly
Without meaning

Just a bunch
Of random times
And places

She keeps saying
Have a "Nice day"
Like she is part
Of a program

No
She is not okay

Have a nice day too
I don't really give
A bleep
What you do

12 turns to one
Then to two

Life is mostly
Meaningless

Welcome to Earth

Blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah
Matt Jan 2017
My old therapist
Is so happy

Everyone is so happy
Except me

Forget her
I could care less about her

America going downhill
What a thrill

The more you love
The more you have
To lose

Little Walter
Sings the blues

"This is a mean ole world"

That song rings true

Sad and mean
Old world
Through and through

Well Jesus is Lord

Hollywood ******
In cars ******* ****

I'm alone again
At Starbucks

Are you shocked?

I'm always here
I'm hungry too

I'll just sit here
And watch YouTube
Nothing better to do
Matt Jun 2015
A tragic figure
A man of his time

Spends days alone
And nights too

Loves women
But rarely gets to enjoy their company

Has a little bit of an akward shoulder
But is a good runner

It's all coming down soon

Underground entrance
To Walmart store

Independent contractors
Hired to do specific jobs
Have to sign waivers
No cell phone pics

Source says four guard towers within

Those shelves are high, high
They don't want people to see

Executive orders
All property, food
Can be claimed by the government now

Useless eaters the globalists say

How is one suppose to navigate
Navigate these waters?
This life
And this site
And I'll just write here

And I'm looking for friends on a screen
That's cause there aren't any
Any chances to meet people in real life

And I have a negative balance in my account
I asked could they please transfer the money
A few days ago

The man that sees everything
Young and old
A great observer of this world

Summer 2015
They do not care about you
The government is corrupt
They ruin the future of our country

And we are can't move out of our parents' home
And we live alone

Just expect
Expect more terrible times

She left
We were having a good conversation
She even flirted-- ahh ****
The internet people can **** with you
Say things, but you can't see them
They hide behind the screen

I don't have a model's body
I don't have a million dollars
I'm smart and fast too

They left me all alone
All alone
Just like when I was 4
At the gate alone

Stay away from me
Stay away from me women

My grandfather
He was in North Africa in WWII
You *******!

The same blood runs through me

This is another type of war
Our own government destroys our lives

What am I suppose to feel?
What the **** am
-----------------------------------

Eminem song plays in the background

"You show me nothing but hate
You lay me into the ground"
No love

My food, my food, this is my food!
And NO ONE on earth is going to take
My emergency food

I'll survive all alone for a thousand years
Cursed to live alone with no women
With no women
With no therapists
No lying therapists and liars!!!!!
Matt May 2016
I'm beginning
To hate this IPAD

All I wanted to do
Was play a book
I purchased on Kindle

I wanted to be able to copy
The pages
And put the content
Onto a text reader

I took screen shots
As well

But I can't paste
The screen shot
Onto the text reader app

And I don't want to
Turn on Siri
To read it aloud

As it collects so much info
And sends it to Apple

So now I just have to read
The **** book

The old fashioned way
Blahhhh!

I wanted a spoken copy
Of this book
Matt Jan 2017
The email served
As my official letter of resignation

They wished me all the best
In my endeavors.

I don't have any
I just want to go here
Go there

No goals
Or endeavors
I don't
******* care

1+1 does not equal 3
But it does on earth
So **** me

A rational mind
In an irrational world

A hurky jerky coaster
Can make you hurl
Matt Sep 2014
I am viewed by the system
As a machine

Work, work, work
Where is my job?

There are no jobs in California
You go to college
Then get more education

And the best I'll be able to do
This year is working part time somewhere
For thirteen dollars an hour

What a joke

You know
The more I live
The less I think of this place called earth

Better to think of it as like a matrix system

Besides I live life in what I feel is the wrong body
I would have had more fun as a woman

Oh well
I won't waste anytime thinking about it

Money!
That's all that matters
And I'm poor
Always poor
No jobs to be found

What a joke
This stupid game

I didn't go to college
Then go get sixteen months more of education
So I could work for minimum wage

What a joke
And our country is trillions of dollars in debt

I like to write poems when I am in a bad mood
Sometimes I am not so optimistic
It's good to write poems in good and bad moods

Buddham Saranam Gacchami
Dhammam Gacchami
Sangham Saranam Gacchami

I don't like living here
With the way this economy is
I'll have to live here for another year at least

Well I refuse to go work
For minimum wage

If the powers that be
Will not hire me
To do my duty then fine!!!!!

It's not my fault
I've done everything right
And I do not care anymore
Matt Mar 2016
Deep within
The mathematical equations
Of super symmetry

Block Linear
Self Dual Error
Correcting Code

Was found

This type of code
Monitors code
And measures it
Against what is
Already known

Self-adjusting
As required

In order to accurately
Transmit

And receive
The correct information

Perhaps earth
Is a computer
Programmed reality

After all

Hehe

Your consciousness
Creates your reality

Strings of bits
Of Ones and Zeroes

Welcome to
Matrix Earth

"This is the construct.
It's our loading program."

"Right now, we're inside
A computer program?"

"Is it really so hard to believe?"

"This isn't real."

"What is real?"

"How do you define real?"

"If you're talking about what
You can feel
What you can smell
And taste and see
Then real is simply
Electrical signals
Interpreted by your brain."
http://theawakenment.com/theoretical-physicist-james-gates-finds-computer-code-in-string-theory-equation/#sthash.JpCef8MQ.dpbs

Find your own peace within the program.
Matt Jun 2015
The block option
A great feature of this site

For those users
Who fail to leave
Constructive criticisms

But repeatedly post
Rude comments

Blocked.
Matt Jun 2015
Blue moon of Kentucky keep on shining
Shine on the one that's gone and proved untrue
Blue moon of Kentucky keep on shining
Shine on the one that's gone and left me blue
It was on a moonlight night
The stars were shining bright
And they whispered from on high
Your love has said good-bye
Blue moon of Kentucky keep on shining
Shine on the one that's gone and said good-bye
Blue moon of Kentucky keep on shining
Shine on the one that's gone and proved untrue
Blue moon of Kentucky keep on shining
Shine on the one that's gone and left me blue
It is on a moonlight night
The stars shining bright
They whispered from high
Your love has said good-bye
Blue moon of Kentucky keep on shining
Shine on the one that's gone and said good-bye
By: Bill Monroe
Matt Feb 2015
Bodhisattva
Boundless energy
Eternal Light
Gone beyond all fear

Form is emptiness
Emptiness is form

Buddham saranam gacchami
Dhammam saranam gacchami
Sangham Saranam gacchami

I have come to help all beings
And deep inside
I have the most wondrous heart

I must cultivate Ren
Human heartedness
Virtuosity

Know the male, but keep the female,
Being the universal river-valley,
Being the the universal river-valley,
One has the eternal virtue [te] undivided
And becomes again as a child

They tried to banish me
No No No

Boundless light,
Boundless energy
Ten-thousand eyes
Never tire of seeing

I will return
I must help all sentient beings

In giving
I will receive the greatest gift!

Buddham saranam gachammi
Dhammam saranam gachammi
Sangham saranam gachammi

Love
It's love
Know the male, but keep the female,
Being the universal river-valley,
Being the the universal river-valley,
One has the eternal virtue [te] undivided
And becomes again as a child

This is an excerpt from a work by Alan Watts entitled,
Tao: The Watercourse Way
Matt Feb 2015
Love

Inner calm
Loving compassion
Kind-heartedness
Falling and ceasing, not rising

Benevolence toward all beings
Unconditional love
Patience and understanding

The Tao is like water
It nourishes all beings
Like water it is good
It nourishes all
Like water it sinks to the low place
Not claiming credit
Water flows downhill
Non striving

Humility, forgiveness
Peace be with you

Love
Love for all people
In all times and places

Loving nature
Go with nature

In giving we receive

Love
Matt Jan 2016
A bowl of berries
Mixed with greek yogurt too

This breakfast
Is really good for you
Matt Feb 2015
I chipped golf *****
Onto the putting green

In a hidden Canyon
Bright Cloud
An hour or so before sunset

The cloud drifts through the sky
Emanating light
Radiating sunlight
Dazzling light

I am overwhelmed by nature's beauty
I observe the Tao
I take part in the changing
The final hour of daylight

Sun cloud
Floating through the air

Sunset
In the distance
Pink Cloud
Barely light outside

Now it's dark
Bright moon
Full moon
Clear moon

I really saw
I watched
As I listened to Epictetus

Great and mysterious is this planet
Matt Mar 2015
Burn the pictures
Destroy the memories
I hate the past
I hate this home

There are no jobs
I do not care

I will keep trying
But I just don't give a **** anymore
hahahah
Bye
Matt Sep 2016
Bye
It's your fault
For leaving

It's your fault

So as you go on
With your busy life

Will you spare
A thought
For me

You're the friend
I had
Who left me
Matt Jul 2015
I listened to the calm
Of the rushing water
I recorded on the mountain trail

I breathed in
I breathed out

I let the ages
And I let the times pass through

Eternal calm
So good for me and you
Matt Mar 2015
Philosophically, Camus is known for his conception of the absurd. Perhaps we should clarify from the very beginning what the absurd is not. The absurd is not nihilism. For Camus the acceptance of the absurd does not lead to nihilism (according to Nietzsche nihilism denotes the state in which the highest values devalue themselves) or to inertia, but rather to their opposite: to action and participation. The notion of the absurd signifies the space which opens up between, on the one hand, man’s need for intelligibility and, on the other hand, 'the unreasonable silence of the world' as he beautifully puts it. In a world devoid of God, eternal truths or any other guiding principle, how could man bear the responsibility of a meaning-giving activity? The absurd man, like an astronaut looking at the earth from above, wonders whether a philosophical system, a religion or a political ideology is able to make the world respond to the questioning of man, or rather whether all human constructions are nothing but the excessive face-paint of a clown which is there to cover his sadness. This terrible suspicion haunts the absurd man. In one of the most memorable openings of a non-fictional book he states: “There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. All the rest – whether or not the world has three dimensions, whether the mind has nine or twelve categories – comes afterwards. These are games; one must first answer” (Camus 2000:11). The problem of suicide (a deeply personal problem) manifests the exigency of a meaning-giving response. Indeed for Camus a suicidal response to the problem of meaning would be the confirmation that the absurd has taken over man’s inner life. It would mean that man is not any more an animal going after answers, in accordance with some inner drive that leads him to act in order to endow the world with meaning. The suicide has become but a passive recipient of the muteness of the world. “...The absurd ... is simultaneously awareness and rejection of death” (Camus 2000:54). One has to be aware of death – because it is precisely the realization of man’s mortality that pushes someone to strive for answers – and one has ultimately to reject death – that is, reject suicide as well as the living death of inertia and inaction. At the end one has to keep the absurd alive, as Camus says. But what does it that mean?

In The Myth of Sisyphus Camus tells the story of the mythical Sisyphus who was condemned by the Gods to ceaselessly roll a rock to the top of a mountain and then have to let it fall back again of its own weight. “Sisyphus, proletarian of the gods, powerless and rebellious, knows the whole extent of his wretched condition: it is what he thinks of during his descent. The lucidity that was to constitute his torture at the same time crowns his victory. There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn” (Camus 2000:109). One must imagine then Sisyphus victorious: fate and absurdity have been overcome by a joyful contempt. Scorn is the appropriate response in the face of the absurd; another name for this 'scorn' though would be artistic creation. When Camus says: “One does not discover the absurd without being tempted to write a manual of happiness” (Camus 2000:110) he writes about a moment of exhilarated madness, which is the moment of the genesis of the artistic work. Madness, but nevertheless profound – think of the function of the Fool in Shakespeare’s King Lear as the one who reveals to the king the most profound truths through play, mimicry and songs. Such madness can overcome the absurd without cancelling it altogether.
www.iep.utm.edu/existent/#SH2c
Matt Aug 2015
America the dump

These 60 year olds
Still think the dollar has value

On Friday night
They sit mindlessly
In front of some stupid movie

They watch and follow politics

Not realizing
Our country is beyond repair

I hate this place

And so
I'll be canceling the holidays

I won't be celebrating them here

It's another year
Without full time work

No opportunities
This isn't your parents America

Sure, maybe if you know someone
You might find a decent job

If not,
You're pretty much *******

And when the whole system collapses
I'll just laugh

I'll laugh
Because they were so unaware

Glued to televisions
And facebook
Unaware of the danger

A terrible time is coming
But no one will listen

That's fine
They thought Rome
Would last forever to

The world moves toward destruction
Man is destined
To destroy himself

This primitive and ignorant race

And so,
They can put the lights up themselves

I won't be here
For Thanksgiving
Or Christmas

I'm done with family holidays

So take your pills
You drugged up Americans
Your gallons of coffee
Your pills
Your television

It's money they love most of all
But their money
Is close to toilet paper now

I'm canceling the Holidays
Matt Sep 2015
What a stupid person
Incredibly stupid

30 years
Of no work
Of doing nothing

A complete and total
Psych job

Idiot

Idiot

Didn't do the dishes again

Idiot

Homemaker

Who can't keep home

What a pathetic waste
Of a human life

I won't be here for the holidays
Haha
Matt Apr 2015
So I was going to file my taxes online
But they make you pay to e-file
So **** it

I can't afford to e-file
I would have liked to

I entered the amount of accrued interest
On my 1098e student loan form

Lol thought I would get some money back
But so poor
Can't even afford to e-file
Matt Jun 2016
They will not pay
For the credit card

Or for the student loan

Okay?

And I should care why?

I do the minimum
I substitute teach

I'm poor
Matt Jan 2016
I never bought into
A 40 hour a week
Work week

Who cares
I'm not going

To play the game

Rather sit on the sidelines
And do nothing

And why should I?

I do as I please
I enjoy time alone
I am a moral
And loving person

You can't make
Me do anything

People say "Why"
"Why am I this way?"

I say, "Why not?"

You have no answers
They have no answers
To my questions

I will do the minimum here

And I do not care
How much money you have

I almost got hit coming out
Of my driveway
The window was fogged

I thought it was clear
A car passed right by me
After I had made a loop

And turned down the street
I suppose I could have
Been seriously injured

I will smile
Do not make demands
Or threaten me

I spent the day at the park
From 1 to 3

I stood outside
Taking a ***

When the parents die
It will be just like
A stranger dying
I won't shed a tear
Haha
Matt Mar 2016
I think
One of the most
Beautiful things

I witness often
Is a mother
And her child

How she looks after
Them so lovingly

Truly amazing

I love caring women

In my dreams
I read poems
With women

They comfort me
And I drink
Nourishing
Breast milk
Matt Aug 2015
It's Friday night
On Hello Poetry

Nowhere I would rather be

Women don't pay attention to me
But that's okay

I had a good
Carrot and golden raisin salad
Anyway  

Lol
Matt Jan 2015
In my daily life there are no other chores than Those that happen to fall into my hands.
Nothing I choose, nothing reject.
Nowhere is there ado, nowhere a slip.
I have no other emblems of my glory than
The mountains and hills without a spot of dust.
My magical power and spiritual exercise consists in
Carrying water and gathering firewood.
P'ang Chü-shih (The Golden Age of Zen 94, 304 n.5)
"Ma-tsu's outstanding lay disciple, Pang Yün" (The Golden Age of Zen 94)
Matt Feb 2015
Changing times
Changing places
Changing names
Changing faces

The emptiness
Impermanence behind all things
Sunyata

She keeps asking
"How are you?"

"Fine, I reply."
The emptiness remains constant

I hope to find more good friends to love
Matt Jul 2014
Charge the charge card
That is what it is for after all
Charge the charge card
Even though I am completely broke

I need to play golf again and again
To make it through this difficult time

I feel like a failure at times
Unable to change my life

Oh well, my time will come
I have read many great minds
Going back to the beginning of time

This life is some test
So is golf
Each moment I must concentrate
Play every round like it is my last

My father taught me how to hate
With all his mean and obnoxious comments
Lord help me forgive him

I'm playing eighteen tomorrow
I don't care how much it costs
It's a battle out there
Grinding on each shot

I'm going to be a teacher
I'm going to teach for a long time
I don't believe in retirement
The way our economy is, I will probably never get to retire anyhow

The middle class is being decimated in this country
The dollar is being devalued as the Fed continues its policy of quantitative easing

I don't think I am going to find a job this upcoming year
I think I might have to keep living here
Things are getting awfully tough
This life can be tough and mean

Maybe I'll meet someone one day who gives a **** about me
Well, at least there is Jesus
I have read God's word and know it well

I have been set aside by society
Like some type of cast away
I am not sure why
I try to always be a kind and considerate person

I am an intellectual
I love philosophy and history
Life is a great saga
I love my stuffed animals
Feels good to hold them because I have always been alone
Laugh at me if you want
I don't care
There is no shame in having stuffed animals

Well, it's a mean tough road
I'm poor and in debt
But I will charge the charge card
That's what its for after all
I will charge the charge card
To make my parents pay
For every mean comment
That they have said over and over
Matt Sep 2014
In five months
I will be a 30 year old ******.

I have considered being a ****** for life
Maybe I should take a chastity pledge
Better to be alone
To rely on oneself

I doubt I'll have the time for a relationship anyhow
I'll be too busy working to survive
Matt Nov 2014
biblondesubgal: hey miss
queenkendraxx: happy turkey day
queenkendraxx: Is it you and your mistress?
biblondesubgal: yes maam it is
queenkendraxx: what are your names?
biblondesubgal: shes kellie im allan
queenkendraxx: She is 25, you are 20?
biblondesubgal: its reversed
queenkendraxx: Do you always swallow the black stud's ***?
queenkendraxx: Lol tell her she should put it in your food so you can have a daily dose Allan
queenkendraxx: Do you have a ***** name Allan
biblondesubgal: allyssa
queenkendraxx: Ask her what she thinks of Allison
queenkendraxx: Allyssa the bbc *****
queenkendraxx: huh?
biblondesubgal: she said she likes allison too
queenkendraxx: tell her she rocks
queenkendraxx: you are her ******* property, huh?
biblondesubgal: yes miss i am her property
queenkendraxx: I do yoga and pilates to keep my body in tip top shape
queenkendraxx: DO you two have pics?
biblondesubgal: no sry
queenkendraxx: mmkay don't wanna share or just don't have?
biblondesubgal: dont like to share
queenkendraxx: that is cool what does Kellie look like?
queenkendraxx: Well I would delete it
queenkendraxx: but I understand
biblondesubgal: blonde blue eyes 5'4ish 36c
biblondesubgal: your first pic was blurry
queenkendraxx: How did you two meet?
biblondesubgal: mutual friend lol
queenkendraxx: was she ooking for a *****?
queenkendraxx: looking
queenkendraxx: What is her black stud's name?
biblondesubgal: not that i was aware of. she didnt get aggressive until like a month after we were dating
biblondesubgal: daquan
queenkendraxx: hehe I will show you
queenkendraxx: pics of my previous and some of my past blac studs
queenkendraxx: How big is Daquan's ****?
biblondesubgal: 8.5 in pretty thick too
queenkendraxx: big heavy *****?
queenkendraxx: mmm
biblondesubgal: oh yes so heavy and full
queenkendraxx: lol ask her if you have a ***** ****
biblondesubgal: she said yes its so cute his little ***** ******
queenkendraxx: ow big
queenkendraxx: how big 5 in?
biblondesubgal: im 5.5 in
queenkendraxx: aww not bad
queenkendraxx: for a *****
biblondesubgal: thank you miss
queenkendraxx: can I talk to Kellie for a while?
biblondesubgal: sure can i watch yall type?
queenkendraxx: yes *****
biblondesubgal: hey hunny
queenkendraxx: Hey Kellie
queenkendraxx: I love your *****, so obedient-- I have one too
queenkendraxx: His name was Matt but I call him Maddeline
biblondesubgal: yeah? was he hard to break?
queenkendraxx: at first wanna see the black stud that helped me break him?
biblondesubgal: yes please. i have my ***** watching
biblondesubgal: dayum
queenkendraxx: gorgeous huh?
biblondesubgal: yes wow
queenkendraxx: I have a pic of his **** too hehe
queenkendraxx: Is Dayquan really built?
biblondesubgal: not like that lol he has abs but his arms arent that big
biblondesubgal: did your man *** you?
queenkendraxx: yes, that is Darius a different studof mine
queenkendraxx: He makes Maddeline blow him--- gorgeous **** huh?
biblondesubgal: yes so big allyssa thanked me for not giving him that big
queenkendraxx: hehe does Allyssaswallow all Dayquan's *****?
queenkendraxx: I wish I could see your pic Kellie, I bet you are so pretty
biblondesubgal: if it doesnt go in his *** and even then sometimes he does
queenkendraxx: he is learning to take it
queenkendraxx: deep in his ***?
biblondesubgal: yes hes gotten 8 in in so far another half inch and we will be ready for thicker lol
queenkendraxx: hehe ever took pics of that and showed ur gfs?
queenkendraxx: lol good *****
biblondesubgal: no i havent thought to do that
queenkendraxx: hehe good idea?
biblondesubgal: i might do that next time lol
queenkendraxx: lol that way he will be your property for life
queenkendraxx: lol he tries to leave you -- you can send them to his friends haha
biblondesubgal: oh he is lol i have him in chastityafter our sessions he goes back in
queenkendraxx: hehe he in permanent chastity
queenkendraxx: lol there is a space in those to *** right?
biblondesubgal: pretty  much ill let him free when hes being fuked or *******
biblondesubgal: yes there is
queenkendraxx: nice, his *** must be gettting nice and loose
queenkendraxx: does he cry when he is being ******?
biblondesubgal: lol not as loose as maddies. he cries like a baby  because he doesnt get fuked easy
queenkendraxx: lol u know Maddie is such a bbc ****
queenkendraxx: you know all about my Maddie, huh?  hehe
biblondesubgal: lol with the *** you showed me she cant be tight lol
queenkendraxx: Do you tell your gfs all about Allyssa?
queenkendraxx: I stuff my ******* in Maddeline's mouth as he is being pounded in his ***** ***
biblondesubgal: no lol ive been thinking bout having a ******* party
queenkendraxx: taking pics
queenkendraxx: or a video of him
queenkendraxx: So you are toned and fit like me Kellie?
biblondesubgal: your tummy looks better but im not to far off
queenkendraxx: one of ur gf's ******* her mouth while the other has her ***
queenkendraxx: you have a great body too
queenkendraxx: how tall are you?
biblondesubgal: im 5'4 you?
queenkendraxx: guess from my pic
biblondesubgal: hard to tell without comparrison. 5'6?
queenkendraxx: ya
queenkendraxx: 5 '5 and a haf lol
biblondesubgal: i was close lol
queenkendraxx: Did you have your first bbc in college?
biblondesubgal: highschool
queenkendraxx: mmm yay me 2 I was 18
biblondesubgal: i was a cheerleader so i got and *** i wanted really lol
biblondesubgal: i was 16
queenkendraxx: hehe bad loved to see
queenkendraxx: how the black studs plowed over
queenkendraxx: the pathetic white guys?
biblondesubgal: what? sry that was confusing
queenkendraxx: well when I went to football games
queenkendraxx: I like to see how the black men tackled
queenkendraxx: the sorry white guys
biblondesubgal: lol i fuked a basketball player
queenkendraxx: lol one time Darius hit another white guy so hard he sent him to the hospital  
queenkendraxx: nice in college?
biblondesubgal: in highschool lol but he went to college on a scholarship
queenkendraxx: nice
queenkendraxx: you a freshman now?
queenkendraxx: or sophmore?
biblondesubgal: im a freshman
queenkendraxx: nice what you study
queenkendraxx: Does Allyssa do well and spoil you?
biblondesubgal: business i want to own my own store like vic secret
queenkendraxx: lol I make Maddeline shop there
biblondesubgal: she doesnt make a ton of money shes a secretary
queenkendraxx: lol a secretary for a woman?
biblondesubgal: yes lol
queenkendraxx: does she wear her ***** *******
queenkendraxx: to work?
biblondesubgal: and cute dresses heels hose wigs makeup
queenkendraxx: lol what?
biblondesubgal: and a chastity belt
queenkendraxx: they let her wear that?
queenkendraxx: not to work lol
biblondesubgal: yes lol its not like slutty but cute
queenkendraxx: do all the women laugh
queenkendraxx: tease her?
biblondesubgal: they think shes actually a girl
queenkendraxx: heheh yayy
queenkendraxx: Do you make her kiss Jayquan's ***?
queenkendraxx: Is she on estrogen?   Maybe you could research that
queenkendraxx: She will grow soft *******
biblondesubgal: daquan lol and yes. i started crushing up estrogen and making it in his food (i sent him out for a second)
queenkendraxx: My Maddeline has such useless little *****--- Does Allyssa have a little ***** sack too?
biblondesubgal: yes it sags and small *****
queenkendraxx: (hehe is she gone)
biblondesubgal: yes i dont want her to know im turning her into my real life barbie  doll
queenkendraxx: One day do you plan to have it removed and be there to watch Kellie?
biblondesubgal: idk lol ive thought anbout it im not sure i can do that to him though
queenkendraxx: lol so cruel
queenkendraxx: a simple snip hehe
biblondesubgal: simple that costs a lot of money lol
queenkendraxx: lol maybe down the road
queenkendraxx: lol I know its cruel but
queenkendraxx: their ***** sacks are so useless
biblondesubgal: hehe hes said how sensitive his ******* are
queenkendraxx: I hate how their ***** goo is so clear and watery
biblondesubgal: why you think i need a black man lol
queenkendraxx: lol u have one
queenkendraxx: lol like me
queenkendraxx: not like you ever have *** with him right?
biblondesubgal: any way you can resend that first pic? it came up blurry.
queenkendraxx: ya
biblondesubgal: lol very rarely
queenkendraxx: I just really wish I could see you Kellie
queenkendraxx: ?
biblondesubgal: idk still blurry
queenkendraxx: you can post it on pic paste if you wanted and choose to show it for just thirty mins
queenkendraxx: and it will be gone
queenkendraxx: Mmky I trust you to keep them private
biblondesubgal: i will miss
queenkendraxx: I don't usually send my pics to people
queenkendraxx: this is Kellie?
queenkendraxx: you can just call me Kendra Kellie
biblondesubgal: yes it is ok lol sry im kinda submissive too
queenkendraxx: hmm its ok
queenkendraxx: can you please put your pic
queenkendraxx: on picpaste?
queenkendraxx: You are submissive to women and bi?
biblondesubgal: ill put one on display is that ok?
biblondesubgal: yes
queenkendraxx: sure, lovely
queenkendraxx: cool I love women too
queenkendraxx: The first time Maddeline was ****** in his ***---I spread his cheeks open
queenkendraxx: It was so hot to see all 9 inches buried deep inside my ***** ****---- it got me so wet
biblondesubgal: mmm i love to watch it go in slowly until its burried
biblondesubgal: you see a pic?
queenkendraxx: My Maddeline is here with me on the bed
queenkendraxx: not yet?
queenkendraxx: try again
biblondesubgal: on display
queenkendraxx: we could be like sisters lol
biblondesubgal: lol yeah?
queenkendraxx: we look similar I think
queenkendraxx: you coud model if you wanted
queenkendraxx: My Maddeline is 5.5 too
queenkendraxx: lol ***** ****
biblondesubgal: hehe thank you i wish lol
queenkendraxx: have a pic of your alyssa?
biblondesubgal: sry i dont
queenkendraxx: its cool
queenkendraxx: wanna see maddeline on display?
biblondesubgal: hehe love to
queenkendraxx: what do you think?
biblondesubgal: i dont see
queenkendraxx: it is
queenkendraxx: on my avatar
queenkendraxx: on the convo window, see now?
biblondesubgal: no accept my friend request
queenkendraxx: ur on my buddy list already hmm
queenkendraxx: should I just put it on photo share?
queenkendraxx: DOn't save her pic ok?
biblondesubgal: i wont save it
queenkendraxx: She told me she is sensitive about people seeing her, I know you won't
queenkendraxx: she wants to know what words come to mind  when you see her face
queenkendraxx: if you think she looks femme
biblondesubgal: yes maam
queenkendraxx: ol Kellie
queenkendraxx: you can be a lil submissive
queenkendraxx: it is cute
biblondesubgal: im sorry lol kendra
queenkendraxx: you are impressed by my gorgeous body, huh?
biblondesubgal: i love it
queenkendraxx: I am Miss Perfect hehe
biblondesubgal: hehe well i cant argue that
queenkendraxx: what do you think of the midde one?
biblondesubgal: looks cute you dont have him in a wig nd makeup do you?
queenkendraxx: no he wears anties though
queenkendraxx: think he would look cute in a wig?
biblondesubgal: hehe you should fully dress hi
queenkendraxx: think he looks femme
queenkendraxx: and radiant?
biblondesubgal: i think with some make  up a wig hes be a very pretty girl
queenkendraxx: yes
queenkendraxx: think he has a femme smile?
biblondesubgal: yes maam
biblondesubgal: shyt kendra
queenkendraxx: lol I have a pic of his ***** **** too
biblondesubgal:
queenkendraxx: Do you have others lovers besidses Jayquan?
queenkendraxx: so you love to shop at victorias secret?
queenkendraxx: what do you usually get there?
biblondesubgal: its daquan lol
queenkendraxx: where did kellie go?
biblondesubgal: i dont shop there often to expensive lol
biblondesubgal: i am kellie lol the man is dauan not jayquan
queenkendraxx: ooh I see
queenkendraxx: lol my bad Dauan
queenkendraxx: lol my bad
queenkendraxx: lol u will laugh when you see Maddeline's ****
biblondesubgal: its ok your cute enough to kmake up for it
queenkendraxx: u2 love your smile
biblondesubgal: awe thank you
queenkendraxx: want to make him your cuck hubby one day?
biblondesubgal: i think hes basically there
queenkendraxx: lol nice
queenkendraxx: maddeline goes to a 35 yr old female therapist
queenkendraxx: and she tells her all about feeling inferior to alpha males
queenkendraxx: and wanting to be a woman, lol
biblondesubgal: hehe you did that to her huh
queenkendraxx: yes she cries
queenkendraxx: in front of the therapist
queenkendraxx: wonerful, huh?
biblondesubgal: you want to get her clittlky a real ******
queenkendraxx: hehe well
queenkendraxx: she has thought of having her ***** sack removed
queenkendraxx: she even told the therapist she said
biblondesubgal: hehe you ruined her that makes me wanna kiss you lol
queenkendraxx: heheh I totally own her
queenkendraxx: beautiful, huh?
biblondesubgal: it is so beautiful. allyssa wants to know if ill let her back
queenkendraxx: hmm maybe in a bit
queenkendraxx: wanna see Maddeline's ****?
biblondesubgal: please miss
queenkendraxx: lol 5.5
queenkendraxx: she said she took it with her ipad
biblondesubgal: its so cute
queenkendraxx: that is why there is a weird angle
queenkendraxx: so small, huh?
biblondesubgal: yes well my girls the same size i  think yours is thicker
queenkendraxx: isy bitsyteenie tiny
queenkendraxx: hehehe
biblondesubgal: hehe can i finger?
queenkendraxx: do you do that to her alot?
biblondesubgal: i dont have one yet i have one on order
queenkendraxx: hehe I do
queenkendraxx: a bbc *******?
biblondesubgal: its black like 10in pretty thick
queenkendraxx: I got her an 8 in brown one too that vibrates
queenkendraxx: mmm will **** her so deep
queenkendraxx: yuuummmmmm I have been with him!
biblondesubgal: vibrates? shoot use that on me
biblondesubgal: wow are you loose? lol
queenkendraxx: lol it was a whil ago but
queenkendraxx: mmm love him
queenkendraxx: ehe you look up to me
queenkendraxx: huh kellie?
biblondesubgal: i couldnt even get that in my mouth
queenkendraxx: how much can you *******?
biblondesubgal: 7.5 in
queenkendraxx: oh mi gosh
queenkendraxx: 7 4 me hehe
queenkendraxx: I sometimes make maddeline practice
queenkendraxx: on bananas
biblondesubgal: hehe that guy almost made me puke
queenkendraxx: when she is not practicing on BBC
queenkendraxx: cause Maddeline is so ugly?
biblondesubgal: i make alyssa practice on my ****** after i use them
biblondesubgal: no lol the guy i deepthroated
queenkendraxx: oh
queenkendraxx: hehe I know they *** soooo much
queenkendraxx: I love it soaking my face
queenkendraxx: yummmmm
queenkendraxx: lol I am making Maddeline practie
queenkendraxx: practice
on her banana now
biblondesubgal: hehe hot my ***** is peaking at me through the droor crack
queenkendraxx: lol *****
queenkendraxx: you two have your own place
queenkendraxx: are you at a college dorm
queenkendraxx: or apartment?
biblondesubgal: apartment
queenkendraxx: I should make Maddeline
queenkendraxx: ******* her banana
queenkendraxx: on cam for you, haha
biblondesubgal: oh my gosh id get so wet
queenkendraxx: let me get her, and you can speak to her for a few mins and she can put on a show
queenkendraxx: would you enjoy that Kellie?
biblondesubgal: i would love that miss kendra
queenkendraxx: I am so wet too
queenkendraxx: I have my little rabbit vibe
biblondesubgal: hehe im just using my fingers
queenkendraxx: she is getting the banana one sec she is coming
biblondesubgal: hehe she a good girl for you
queenkendraxx: Hi Miss Kellie
queenkendraxx: This is Maddeline
queenkendraxx: Should I keep writing in this pink?
biblondesubgal: hey girl you dont have to call me miss
biblondesubgal: yes its a good color for you
queenkendraxx: just Kellie or what?
queenkendraxx: I feel like I am being disrespecful
queenkendraxx: I saw your pic and you are so gorgeous
biblondesubgal: you can call me kellie its ok. thanks i wanna eat your girl out
queenkendraxx: yes my Mistress
queenkendraxx: you love BBC
queenkendraxx: like my mistress?
biblondesubgal: yes are yougoing to show me what youve been practicing with your bananna?
queenkendraxx: uhh yes
queenkendraxx: may I touch my ****
queenkendraxx: as I do it?
biblondesubgal: well ask your mistress
queenkendraxx: she said for this show you can decide for me
biblondesubgal: lets not do it right now
bi
Matt Jul 2015
Isolated in my room

I go to the Christian chat room

It's nice just to hear people's voices

To listen to these kind people

I spend alot of time alone

Well, my friends are busy

So this is fun.
Matt May 2015
I'm going to the chat rooms again
Yes, this is my idea of company
After all, my friends don't live close

Isolated
In the chat rooms again

On my computer again
I spend many many hours
On this machine

I love all my internet friends
Wish they were here at times
But I am content
With online companionship
In the chat rooms

Have yahoo, skype, or gmail chat?
I'll see you in the chat rooms!
Matt Apr 2015
Chaturbate is lots of fun

You can have a relaxing chat there

And watch people ***
Matt Nov 2015
The chaturbate cams
Are up again

People are *******
And it's no sin

Would you like to try it too?

Set up your cam
Grab a *** toy
Let's see what you can do
Next page