You see I was never sure
Not sure if what I give would be enough
If what I have is too much
Not sure because  if I can't accept myself
How can I accept someone else
When all I see in myself are flaws
How will I despise the flaws of others
How I so needingly try to find something to complete my hollow center
When that something is right infront of me
But the illusions he portrays to me
Are not the ones I want to see
How it be so unfair on him that I can't make up my mind
Make a decision
Or choose him.
Whether it be me or him
It's me that doesn't know what I want
As a wilted petal amongst the leaves so unsuringly unravels itself
to move further away
from the leaves that give it oxygen
Just so it can gain space
While losing strength from what it had before space was an option

Morning has broken
but she has not
it had been a long night
sinister fraught
the stars were cut
in lacerations of lace
          stains of tears
                      mark trails
                   on her face
mascara in circles
mocking panda eyes
multiple moments
of almost self-demise
wrists bound to
          sadness, heart
trussed to trust
pain from crumbling
illusions, plus
that constant,
          searing lust
Now, on the floor,
lying face down
in what seemed
              like blood,
she starts to
                 move around,
as realization pours over
in a thick, viscous flood:
She can move her arms;
for they were not
                really bound
That gag in her mouth?
it has dissolved into sound
The sound of her voice
as she gets up
        from the floor
opens the window
bringing light
            to the fore
guttural noises
escape deep
                 from her throat
and before she
knows it, the
room starts to float
furniture circling
as the energy takes
        and she lets in the air
             fresh as new fate
her cuts balmed over
         winds whipping up her hair
marks from taut ropes
smoothing over to bare
and the light bursts in
          in a blast, in a whoosh
like bursts of starlight
cutting in with a push
they seep into shadows
pulsing over the dark
the howling rescinds
          in an explosion of sparks
blocks of pain that held
her chained
are knocked over
and the lightstorm
                keeps coming
her inner percussion
just doesn't stop drumming
      And as she flies through that window
and unhinges the door
            from its frame
freedom
            is now hers
            forever to claim