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Do you have a silly secret?
Something that doesn't hurt anyone.
A silly thing to giggle at.
It isn't a lie but still you feel sly.

In a past life time I used hide my candy bars in a shrimp ramen package.

No one ever touched them.
No one ever knew.
I giggle to myself,
through and through.
The useless skin around the v*gina, the woman.
Quiet, meek, sensitive, a pushover,
the woman.
A female dog!
The woman.
Patronized and ignored,
the woman.
Living in a backwards town, where people treat people terrible.
Go take a bubble bath
to wind down.
Just relax.
I can't JUST relax.
How do people even do that?

Setup Netflix,
Get my nail polish,
and face mask
Something to drink?
Of course!
Hot baths dehydrate you.

Now for the tricky part.
Not cotton candy.
Not Popcorn.
They disintegrate.
I think tonight's bath
Will be served with
an omelette.
You don't belong.
A white ally in a black movement.
You don't belong.
Not gay enough for LGBTQ+.
You don't belong.
A masters in sciences is not good enough.
You don't belong.
The media claims I'm fat.
You don't belong.
Annoying, controlling, selfish.
You don't belong.
Caring too much.
You don't belong.
Not caring enough.
You don't belong.

Day after day.
You don't belong.
I wear makeup to work,
So people treat me better.

I work with fish.
I get covered in slime.
I don't make tips.
(Not that, that is acceptable)
I have a fiance.
I'm off market.
I'm not there to impress anyone.

No makeup.
I'm ignored.
My credentials are questioned more.
They pick fights.
They behave poorly.

With makeup well,
I only have to deal with one creepy person.

I wear makeup to work,
So people treat me better.
What is wrong with me?
Unregulated hormones up the wall?
I'm getting older, arn't these hormones supposed to chill out?
I already use man-deodorant.
It lasts longer and works better.
My body had abandoned hope for women's Secret or smelling like Teen Spirit long ago.
Three applications a day.
Avoid synthetics, they hold smell.
Shower every morning to manage.
The sweet scent of Gain can only do so much.
The state of our current political affairs, is the root cause.
Lacking basic human rights, is the root cause.
A country of ignorant people spreading hate, is the root cause.
Deodorant doesn't stand a chance!
Some one is pulling my spine out.
Their hands are wrapped around my Thoracic.
The pain spreads to my nerves around my ribs and up my shoulders.

A ghost blows a cool, long, slow gust of air on the back of my neck.
Taking a second to pass though my body, laughing at me.

Fire and ice covers my skin.
It burns. It burns. It burns.
The fire burns and the ice bits.
It bites. It bites. It bites.

A cool crisp cider to pour down my throat to quench and drench the pain.
New friends, good company not knowing my flaws and holding my hostage.

Knowing, I'm stuck in isolation.
Cider and friends are a slim possibility.
I can't fix it. Subdue it. Ignore it.
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