When I was little
I would pretend to be asleep
So my parents could believe
They didn't need to worry
And I'd wait until they'd walk down the stairs
And I'd tip toe out of bed
And sit at the top of the stairs
My head leaned against the wall
Listening to the laughter below
Imagining ball gowns
And glasses filled with bubbly drinks

So why can't I fall asleep?
Because the night has also held too many secrets
For a curious child
Who loves to dream

Drive angry?
I will.
I finally understand screamo music,
I have all of these emotion draining out of me,
and I have issues that nobody understands.
"he's a ******?"
You never complained as much as me?
You need a ****** reality check sister.
Your now husband, you were going to leave him
but then he popped the question.
You can blame my issues on anything yiu want.
Some blame it on the church,
some blame it on my work,
some blame it on my sister,
my parents or my boyfriend.
Or people could just realize I got myself
here in this drepressing pit.
So keep blamin what you want
Someday you'll be here,
in my shoes.
And you'll realize what its like
having no one to blame but yourself.

she's young
but shes been through it all
witnessed heartbreak
before her heart was completely sown

she was let down
before she could fly
she didnt even live yet
but was already left to die

she is misunderstood
no one truly gets her
its like she is possessed with a disease
that has yet to have a cure

she shines like the sun
but she feels left in the darkness
she gets treated unfair
people are so heartless

she has much anger
burried deep down
but on the girls face youll never see a frown
she is a princess,
she's just missing her crown.

she has never been given what she truly deserves
people are just so irritable
and say she gets on their nerves

but she does not do a thing wrong
she just tries to live
just tries to sing her song

no one gives her the time of day
while she's in the middle of speaking
it seems as though everyone walks away
no one gives her the time of day
even though she has so much to say

She was born with and old soul
To die young
In a cruel world

In the light she both shimmered
And shriveled
Her name echoed off the lips of strangers

Each phrase was harsher than the last and
Cut deeper
Messages that she'd already written in her head.

Suddenly she couldn't see her path
She was lost
Her hands shook as she held them in front of her

Searching for help but all she found
Were thorns
So she retracted into herself

She swallowed nothing much except
Her words
Wincing at her own reflection in the eyes of others.

She became a wisp clinging to the grass
Lonely and sad
Gasping for affirmation

Blown away in the night's quiet whisper
She disappeared
The voices got louder, louder then ever

They bowed their heads and wiped their tears
"How tragic"
They said, as they moved on to the next.

Sometimes you just get used to your decisions
and that no matter what you do nothing will ever really change.

Sometimes you get used to the mundane everyday feel of getting up,
getting dressed, spending a few extra minutes to look decent, typically for those
who don't really care.

Sometimes you try to build yourself up again to stand back up
and feel the old friend of excitement work through the intricate details
of each of your veins as if it was your blood, but you only stand up to
fall back down into your bed, where you plan to stay the rest of the day.

Sometimes I realize there is really no point to trying to tell you how I feel
because it's all a matter of a mundane reality - a reality I cannot change.

That's okay; I'm used to the pain, and god forbid you'll ever have to face emotions
on your own, I would never want that.

When it's late at night and you're at your desk trying to focus on each of the
words, size 12 font, printed on thin paper that gets heavier with each turn of the page,
do you ever think about me?

Do you ever wake up in the morning and get dressed, putting on your clothes so
sluggishly because of the weight of your thoughts, and have me cross your mind?

When you're walking down the hallway and you see me, someone who never speaks
anymore, who seems to have some kind of hidden infatuation you cannot quite grasp,
do you ever think of how I look?

There are so many hidden secrets within us all; so many hidden emotions. Do you ever feel any of them?

Do you know the feeling of
Looking at a person and you just feel disappointment?
You want to deny
But all you could feel is saying
"How could you?"
All you do is choke on every word you want to let go
Because you want to say the right words
But you just can't feel disappointed in them.
You want to believe they did not did it
But you can't.
Because you trusted them so much.

You want to cry
And scream at them
You want to ask them why did they did it
But you still want to keep the thoughts of them being perfect.

I feel it everyday
Watching the people I love
And care
But they just turn a blind eye
Because they think what they did was right.