I am madness,
and sunshine while it rains
but I am no rainbow
there's no light at the end of this tunnel
only darkness
lit by florescent counterfeits.
I am a wind storm
messy, never dangerous
but always unpredictable.
I have spent my days
worried with things I cannot control
and I so badly want
something I can hold close to.
But I am solid as a rock
and when I approach you
it will cause some damage.
I have known for a long time
that loving me is hard
because I've tried
and even I get tired.
I am clay,
easily molded
but when left dry and untouched
I turn to stone.
It may take some time,
but even a diamond
needs pressure
to be beautiful.

Sometimes I think my mother hates me
Because I'm a slob
Because I'm not married
Because I'm still at home
Because I'm like my father

Not because I'm educated
Not because I work hard
Not because I try my best
Because I'm like my father

Because I must lie about not feeling well
Because it must not be that bad
Because I'm not the woman she wanted me to be
Because I'm like my father

You're just like your father
You live like a pig
You think that boy will ever marry you?
You don't know how we struggle

Because you're just like your father

I am my own being
but in your eyes
why even bother?

Cry when you want to
But never hurt yourself
Lie when you need to
But never to yourself.
Get high when you want to
But remember where you came from
Deny when you need to
But not to a better self.
Smile when you want to
You rule your kingdom yourself
Care for them when you need to
But never at the cost of your own self.
Love people when you want to
But never forget to love yourself
Soar in love when you need to
But never expect it back for yourself.

sometimes you just can't stop crying
and you don't know why
but you know the river runs deep
hence the tears never seem to dry
you wait for a break in the clouds
and you pray to see the sun
even beneath the dying rainbow
your work is never done

all you know is the river runs deep
and you pray to see the sun