Lumin Guerrero

Lumin Guerrero Feb 6

I'm still a child,
in most senses.

I would be one to say no child deserves to die.
And so I don't deserve to die.

#suicide

Lumin Guerrero Feb 5

Don't say your parents don't love you.
I wish my parents loved me.
They're not liars, at least not in that sense,
But I fear that they love the concept of their daughter more.

Don't paint them to be loveless monsters.
They're not, I know they're not.
Thats what makes it hurt more.
The fact that they hold so much love
That I am simply unworthy of.

Don't you love them?
I do,
But aren't I allowed to love myself more?

Just to think of how I have to chose between their love and my happiness.

#parents

Lumin Guerrero Feb 5

Untitled

Listen
While I cry to you all the wrong of the world.

Hold me
While you whisper to me all of her beauty.

Lumin Guerrero Feb 5

stupid kids

you blame your past self
say you were so **** stupid...
but they're just a kid.

It wasn't your fault

#childhood #trauma

Lumin Guerrero Feb 5

Say no

He tells me to just say no.
I know what he means, right?
Just say no.
No to what?
"Well, you know,
When you don't say anything they take it as a yes,
So you just have to say no."

Oh, I know now.

Lie.
He wants me to lie.
Well, maybe he wouldn't know its a lie,
He doesn't know anything.
Nobody knows
anything.

When the therapist asks you if you've been feeling depressed,
When the therapist asks you if you've thought about self-harm,
When the therapist asks you if you want to **** yourself,

Just
Say
No.

Thats okay, I know how to lie,
My life is one big lie after all.

#suicide

Lumin Guerrero Feb 4

Hear me out

What if I just like,
stopped trying?

Lumin Guerrero Feb 1

How suicidal have you been feeling?

You can't open the session with,
"How suicidal have you been feeling?"
And expect me not to immediately shut down.

"[Deadname], I know you're not..."
Choose your words carefully.
"stupid,"
Score.

"I know you can do it, you just choose not to."
It was never a choice, just a response.

"Come on, [deadname], just talk to me."
How am I meant to tell you to tell you of the deepest darkest parts of myself when you don't even know
my name.

Really hating therapy

#therapy #suicide #transgender