She has seen
how they crave for outer beauty
she loves to feel love
but she lacks what they've been craving
young & naive,she hides her pain
happy she was,as her loss was other's gain
she,who finds happiness in other's smile
even her tears bid her good bye
scared she was,
with the smiles they fake
with the compliments that fade
with the sympathies she gain
with the hearts that break
with the words that goes in vain
but how beautifully she covers her insecurity
as,she has seen
how they crave for outer beauty

I don't want smart.
I want spontaneous.

I don't want roses and a candle-lit dinner.
I want drunken nights by the campfire.

I don't want a boy that says 'I love you'
Because I don't believe in love
And, even if I did,
I'm not emotionally capable of feeling it.
I want a boy that's okay with that.

I don't want a boy that showers me with compliments
or a knight in shining armor.
I don't want mushy love letters or romantic get aways.
I don't want a boy who's looking for a wife
because I don't believe in marriage.
And I don't want a lover.
I want a partner in crime.

I want a boy with chaos flickering in his eyes.
I want a boy who smiles a lot.
I want contagious laughter.
I want loud.
I want steamy kisses where he presses my body into his and my skin tingles.

I don't want late night phone calls or 'Good morning' texts.
I want a boy that calls me out on my *******.
I want a boy that pushes my buttons.
I want a challenge.

I don't want a boy that makes me feel pretty.
I want a boy that makes me feel alive.

I want a boy that taps on my window in the middle of the night
And brings me on a starlit adventure.

I don't want a boy that makes love.
I want a boy that will **** me raw.
And I want a boy that will let me pass out on him afterwards.
And I want a boy that won't get offended if I move away in the middle of the night
Because cuddling hurts my neck and his heartbeat is keeping me awake.

I don't want a boy that holds hands.
I want a boy that drives too fast.
I don't want a boy that babies me.
And I don't want a shoulder to cry on
Because I'm not fragile
And I can take care of myself.
I want a boy that pushes me into oncoming sprinklers
And doesn't hold anything back.

I don't want a boy that's looking for forever
because forever seems like a really long time.
I want a boy that goes day by day.

I don't want safe.
I want to go fast.
I want to live on the edge.
I want exhilaration.

I don't want to be wanted.
I want to want.

It takes this boy three words to figuratively melt all my literal progress, to turn my thoughts right back into the whirlwind of memories I've spent the past twelve months trying to silence. At last, I stopped hearing his voice in the howling wind but two missed calls and a couple 2AM texts later and I can't think straight. I see his smile in the spaces between my fingers and LOOK ALIVE, SUNSHINE ricochets around my skull, firing my synapses sharply while his hurricane laughter echoes between my neurons.

Three words to rip all of my unexpressed feelings from their neatly-packed shoe boxes and send them swirling around my head in that violent vortex that took a year to subdue.

Three words to unleash the chaos I had finally repressed.

I
Crave your touch
But our fingers always seem to miss.
I want to taste your lips
But I always find them closed.
I smell your perfume everywhere
But it’s only when it lingers
On the wind.

I
Am always
In the right place
But never the right time.
I hear the echo of your voice
But always from far away.
I dream about your smile
But never see it grace your face.

I
Only see your face
Through the reflection of mirrors
When it’s late at night and
the shadows play tricks
On me.
You are a ghost to me
A shadow
A faint glimmer of hope
Lost in the bright starkness
Of reality.

I
Can only whisper
Your name
For it is so fragile
That anything stronger and
It will vanish.
I am always close enough
To know you were there
But too far away to believe it is true.

He knows about my past,
yet still wants to be my future.
He's seen my crazy side,
yet still treats me like a princess.
He knows my random intolerances,
yet still calls me sweetie.
He's seen me without makeup,
yet still says I'm beautiful.
He knows my insecurities,
yet claims that I'm the "best".
He could have any other girl,
yet still chooses me.
Because unlike me he sees my imperfections perfectly.

A wandering glare catches on those who pass
And judges them based on class
Scrupulously picking every soul apart
Based on the apparel within their shopping cart.
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He speaks of intrinsic worth
And models himself on Colin Firth
Despises the idea of beauty as a single minded ordeal
And clothing worn with the inability to conceal

And yet, every woman he dates is a stick
Well versed in ******* ****.
With a mind as blank as an empty page.
And clothing better suited for a stripper's stage.
..........................................................­........................
She speaks of a lack of care for material things,
And spits in the face of wallet fuelled flings,
Says she cares only for the mind
And those who appear overly kind.

Yet, every man she dates is a ****
Worried only about gorging her on his *****
They all buy her every form of earthly delight.
And each raise their hand to her, as is a property owner's right.