You can be alone but not lonely.
You can be lonely even when you're not alone.
I hear this over and over and I just nod like I heard it for the first time.
It's sad that I am both.
Lonely and alone.

The sun is setting into an orange gradient and I can still the smell the rain.
That familiar smell of the ground.
Outside the walls of my room, I know people are bustling their ways to go home.
And here I am on my bed, lonely and alone.

Do you ever just want not to wake up?
I oversleep and even if I've had enough and my head is already aching from hours of pressure on my head,
And my eyes are hurting for I have been shutting them in force for hours long,
I am just not ready to wake up.
I have no reason at all.
Or maybe I'm just tired trying.

As I'm thinking about it now,
How each passing day is getting more difficult to live,
I realized how nice it would have been if there's someone who could tell me,
"It'll be fine. You'll be fine."
I hope someone could spark me some hope.
Like who cares if it's false.

If you put your hand against my chest,
Right through my throbbing heart that longs,
You'll hear the sound of you.

Never has it screamed
And never has it really jumped off me.
It's done a far scarier thing.

It threatened to leave my heart dead if stays unheard.
Yes, from that sound of you.

So I had to listen to it.

Your laugh, your song, your every single word.
Even your sighs that I undeniably grew to miss.
Your cries that you held tight in your throat.
Oh, those were the times
I wish I could be right there with you
And you could not just be a sound I have trapped,
A distance I couldn't close.

Dearest, you fill my head with pieces of crap to waste my time for.
Like a jobless counting steps from the kitchen to the main door.
Like the fool that I always was.
For you.

They say love is a luxury
And unnecessary.
As though an ad-free Spotify in a world of illegal downloads.

But... I think I'm in love with you.

And as a prisoner of the sound of you,
What else can I possibly do?

For a fact I know we will never be together.
For a fact I know you'll never give me a glance while I give you my whole life.
For a fact I know we might not even cross each other's paths.
But I still want to keep you in my heart.
And I want you to be that shining star that shines even more if I only look longer.
So even when I walk the darkest of my life, I'd still see you there up in the sky
And still feel you here in my chest.
I know I'll be fine. Sure I will.

When I said I was over you,
I meant over, not finished.