She loses him every night.
He kisses her good-
Night and walks out into
-Then out of- the streetlight
And into the Out, and
She knows
It's to
Write.

Sleepless nights
       and
silent tears
echo your name
forever....
     -cute crazy-

I am afraid
I am alone
I am unknown
I am labelled

Labelled 'Damaged'
Did I damage myself?
No, fate did that
Can I atone?

Atone? For what?
A disease that differs for one and all.
I know what I am, but choose not to
take the moniker, 'sufferer'.

Yes, I hurt, I tire, I cry, but
I cannot explain, and you,
you cannot empathise, you
don't have MS, the broken smile.

I look whole, but I'm a jigsaw
with a missing piece. That piece is
peace. Peace of mind, peace for my
loved ones, peace for me.

I know I'm a person, I know I have MS
I know I'm loved, I know I'm a *****
I know I'm part of a family, daughter, sister,
aunt, niece, cousin and most importantly Wife.

I will be whatever the fates decide.
I will not be a sufferer.
I will not give up.
I will be loved.

So nicely says Louise Mckay
in life's few years' span
she would love if someone may
give her one life's plan.

(in her words)

So what are the rules and guidelines?
This I really need to learn
There should be a detailed manual
to guide us through twists and turns

How do we really prepare?
Can't we just follow certain steps?
We do it all the time
but I haven't seen the manual yet!

I know this may sound so strange
but I like to get things right
I want to always be prepared
for those things, not yet in sight

Strangely Louise there's no one plan
that can give us guidance
so diverse is the human clan
traveling the same distance.

Sadly no guide from where we learn
know our acts lead us which way
how to sail through twist and turn
find us a brighter next day.

The morrow lying hidden darkly there
may be rosy or with thorny spike
it can be green or aridly bare
a morrow we may like dislike.

Life would have been so horribly dull
if what lies at next bend was known
Time had not made a blocking wall
let all our futures be shown!

We are all guilty
When I say something
I want to be heard
A one word response or a murmur
May as well be silence
I feel ignored
Eye contact is no more
Your words are flowing
I respond
but what am I saying?
A conversation is never between two
There is always someone else with us in our hand
We are not in the moment
Because we are also in another land
But it is no land at all.
No ground to stand on.
No living thing to see.
Only words that come across the screen.

You told me goodbye and showed me the door.
I'd walk forever if you'd love me once more.

I'm not a man of words
and I could never quite say
just how special you were
or how much you meant to me.

So I'll start my journey to nowhere
and I'll start it right here.
I'll walk to the ends of eternity
and hope I see you there.

Bow the **** down, get on your knees.
Pray for mercy, it's the reckoning.

The blackness is coming, its rolling in fast.
A torrential **** storm, my hate on full blast.
You've really done it now, time to reap what you've sown.
This is what happens when you leave me alone
to stir
and fester
giving me time to perfect my anger
towards you.

Look at your creation,
a ******* abomination.