Ever since I was young I always longed for home
Was it in a tall oak tree looking over the hill country
In a muddy pasture with horses
A small condo with a view of a bustling street
Or a large house in the suburbs

Each day chasing every tide.
Each wave languidly crashing  over my hair as it smells of sea salt and cold waters.
The dark clouds that take up the sky, full of mysteries and the crisp air.
Or maybe in a large empty field  with no one near, yellow and orange flowers around me as the sun beats down on my tan shoulders.

Maybe, in the bright star of Sirius, light years way.
Maybe in the cold rain dripping down my car window
Maybe in the barren trees.
Maybe in the warm dusty desert.
Maybe in the green mist of the Amazon
Or the heavy air of the Himalayans.

I’ll tell you something it’s not here.

The sun is so bright, hurting my ******* eyes.
But what compares to your icy blue eyes?
Your hair shines a shade of heavenly gold.
They type you find ingrained in an old Victorian home.

My eyes meet yours, my cheeks turn rose.
You smile and I laugh.
Telling me about the girl next door.
I think how could be like her, can you not see I’m trying to be her?
I want so desperately for your attention, but how can you when I’m only the girl you come to when your lonely.

I’m waiting for you patiently.
I thought you were done with this phase, I told you she’s no good for you.
Can’t stand the ****** affection.
She’s such a attention seeking *****.
But she’s my friend, and I care for her more.

A kiss behind the shed.
Hide under you parents bed.
A holding of hands, but we’re only friends?

Don’t wanna be with this guy, but we’re grown up.
Time has passed us by, and its time for me to grow up.
You still linger in my mind, wonder if you think of me time to time.

Gotta act happy at your wedding, you married your middle school crush.
Hope you think I’m happy.
Nothing will ever compare to the nights with you.

I think I loved you.