Pains has no shape,
No language,
The ache that doesn't scream
You walk into rooms and forget,
What it felt like to be whole,
Laughing in the rooms
Where souls feel misplaced.
Hidden piece is not what you lost.
It is the you,
The flicker,
The ember,
They don't know what it's like to laugh
with everyone and
Still feel alone.
To carry conversations while the soul whispers
"You don't belong here"
The hidden piece isn't missing
It is buried.
Some wounds don't
bleed,they echo

I find such comfort in the phrase ‘you only live once’
Because I can’t imagine doing this all again.
I never want to witness the leaving of light from someone’s eyes,
Never want to be tossed in the endless tide of monotony,
Never want to collapse from my hurricane brain,
Never want to curl up and wish to be taken to a dark silent eternity.

I pray there is no afterlife,
No endless time existing.
I only want it all to end,
To have a complete lack of anything.
I don’t want to meet the grim reaper,
Or greet God at His pearly gates.
I simply wish for nothing,
To live once, truly,
So I need not feel this way
Forevermore.

I thought I knew darkness,

until I saw it in your heart.

How beautifully

you pulled the light

out of my life

           like
      
              a

      black hole.

The wisdom I have gained
Can fill many lovers' cups
With experience and lessons
With loss and sorrow
Pour my knowledge into them
How to love and how to talk
To listen and to feel
To never lose or yield
To hold what is precious
The wisdom I have now
Flows like a faucet
Where every lover shall
Never know the thirst
For one's touch
For one's kiss
To share a glass with another
To drink each other's love
Yet for all that insight
My own cup
Can never be filled again

a one way ticket
the bus half empty
destination unknown

on through the night
darkness a shroud
hour after hour

dawn splits the sky
horizon alight
closer to the unknown

and so goes
       on the days
where my eyes brood
       over clock hands
where my body melts
       into a leather chair
and my heart just
       yearns and yearns for life.

were all those books
      we loved just fiction after all?
or is there more
      really out there?
somewhere amongst
      skyline towers
where the air is thick
      with smoke
and the grass
      grows greener
or whatever.

up on this
     melancholy hill
i’ll watch the
    clock’s limbs waltz
and life just
    slowly fade away
through sad words
    in smudged ink.

The exposed
roots
are trampled.

I remember two keys –
one to a room
I wished so deeply
to share with you.

The other
in an abstract shape
of the right thing
to say.

My future is short,

so please let me find shelter --


find shelter in you.

Timeless afternoon
Postponing chores
Putting paperwork away
Going to bed with you

My heart is in my belly
exactly where I explode
with you - firework sparks
and sweet languor in every cell

My body completely
touched by the magic
spell of hormonal love
still shiny

with attention and sweat
every spot awakened and treated
dozily omnipresent
in your closeness