Like coral reefs dancing
with the curl of the tides,
you are always changing..
ever growing.
And sharp with your freedom
I feared that you would drown me
but your waves were playful
and dressed with sunset
scarlet whispers
unspoken,
quick glances
of flame thrown
recklessly from your eyes,
those waving embers,
Oh the sweetness in their burn.
They beg for strokes as soft
as sunrise
and lips as lingering as the breeze.

Sometimes there is a message hidden in between the lines
    Sometimes the poems have a rhythm woven in the rhymes
Sometimes I’m writing faster than I care about the sounds
    Sometimes I make it long and sometimes I go out of bounds
Sometimes a passion fuels me and words are burning hot
    Sometimes I catch the writers’ block and sometimes I do not
Sometimes I write so fast and then think better later on
    Sometimes the words stay with me until they are almost gone
Sometimes the hidden message is invisible to me
    Sometimes I feel a statue built for all the world to see
Sometimes I wonder secretly if I am made for more
    Sometimes it turns out better than I’d ever dreamed before.

This is all so new,
I can't think straight.
Seems too good to be true,
Could this really be a safe place to fall,
Does he know what he does to me?
I've tried so hard to keep my walls up,
But it's so easy for me to crash,
And just as easy to break.
He's in control of my heart.
I need this to work this time,
Just to keep me from falling apart.
I've fallen so hard.

If this is a mirage,
Then i never want it to fade.
This time it all makes sense.

I hate you for doing this to me.
So hold me and don't leave.
It's crazy how this all seems.
Because I want you to love me,
And i need you to trust me.
Confused and scared,
I'm terrified of you.
What have you done?
You've turned me into a stranger,
So you've won.
I've been here too many times before,
Now just tell me that it's all alright.
That everything you said wasn't a lie,
When you love me please don't leave me.
And if it's true,
I'll stay with you everynight,
I love you
For the rest of my life.

You fell in love with me I guess for who I was then
or so I'd like to think.
Because I breathed innocence and thought everything was holy enough
to be sacred and thought no black secrets
could be hidden under so many precious things.
You liked that I wasn't trying to grow up so fast,
that I was naive and simple.
It gave you clarity when you were dizzy
about who you were and who you wanted to be.
That's why you liked me.
Because I made you into the person you wanted to be.

But now I'm different.
I know that pretty things don't always sparkle and I understand
that just because you put guards up doesn't mean someone won't try to knock them down
and that doesn't mean you won't get hurt in the end.
I don't like Peter Pan even though we watched it 13 times because I've realized
how ****** the animation is and I don't appreciate
fairytales anymore.
I like to put my trust in other things than pixie dust.
But I didn't used to and you liked that about me,
it made you feel like you were living the childhood you never had or something
stupid and poetic that I would have said like that
when you were kissing my nose and holding my  hand
on your couch before 11 and stalling
on driving me home.

I don't like sitting in the passenger seat anymore because it reminds me
of how you'd look over at me like I was one of those
special girls in the stories or the epic loves that gods have that
can never be touched.
I used to think people could never be sick if they were happy enough,
but that's just not how things are.
Because here you are
lying in a hospital bed with pet scans and x rays that lit up like Christmas trees
and the doctors tests have told you terminal things
but you're expecting me to think it's okay.

It's not okay.
Here I am with mascara dried eyes and a cafeteria snack pack
and you're just smiling
stupidly at me because this is scary
and I've always been that fearless thing for you.
You're going to die and you're expecting me to just fill you up
with some fantasy,
seriously ignore reality,
and fly you away to a neverland that's only pretend.
You really expect me to just make believe so you can feel better?

Well I'm not that person anymore.
I don't weigh my life out in laughter and I don't bend backwards just to feel good
anymore.
I can't just sit here and tell you about what I had for breakfast
because that doesn't even amount to the fact
that maybe you won't even be here for that tomorrow.
I can't fill you with color just because you ask me that.
You're draining and you're losing and I've got nothing.
I've got nothing because I don't believe in all those childish things
you fell in love with me for
anymore.

I can't make you better just because I loved you once
and just because I'm here and it matters.
You're just in denial and yeah I'm not the same.
It's called change.

"Mirrors never
Lie"

But

"Perception is
Reality"

And

"What you see in
Yourself
Is what
Matters"

Then where does
Perception
Stop

And

Hypocrisy
Kick
In?

For they are the best of me.
I am unashamedly in need of what
You cannot give me, so I ask for something simple.
Love my poems, and though your hand will never caress my pains away,
Loving words I share is sharing some of my distress and easing my difficult way ahead.
I will tell you one thing more.
I never met a poem here I did not like.
Not one.