If I say not to touch me, then don't touch me
Don't grab my *** when I tell you to stop
Are you having a hard time grasping the meaning of no?
Let me explain to you what it means in the most simple of terms so maybe you'll understand
No doesn't mean you can still touch me because you've convinced yourself that it's okay
No doesn't mean you can touch me because you think I like it despite my words
NO means NO

I wonder if you’d want to know
I named all of my demons after you and
they haunt me in my sleep

when I was 14 I fell asleep in April and dreamed of bones and
I’m not sure I’ve really ever woken up since

when I lost 5 pounds I never saw a difference

when I lost 10 my mother said I was looking good

when I lost 20 she told me to stop and handed me food
and I became anemic

when I lost 25 I stopped drinking anything because
I felt water had calories

when I lost 30 my mother held me on her lap
and held my bones together for me

when I lost 35 I started fainting every morning and
the doctors could no longer easily find my blood pressure

when I lost 40 people started to stare and food made me cry

when I lost 45 it hurt to walk and to lay down
it hurt to eat
it hurt to breathe and
I started throwing up my empty stomach

the mind plays tricks on those that decide
nourishment is not needed

Eat.

I'm laid here with a full stomach
Clawing at it as I feel it digesting inside of me.
It screams freedom,
Begging for me to release it
I hold it back and choke on my words

I must stay strong
I must stay strong

Soon enough the guilt tickles the back of my throat
And I throw up a thousand words.

I am isolated
I am a failure
I am
...
worthless.

I scream back
"I will never ever be enough for anyone!"

And I fell in love with the poison
I drew from your lips
I was mesmerised by the way it made me feel
It has now taken over my mind and body
Suddenly
I have the urge to ****