Girl, what happened to us
What happened to trust
To growing old together until we turned to dust
Was there any love or was it all just lust
You left and all my heart does is turn to rust
Tell me how I’m supposed to evolve and adjust
What happened to the good old days
You remember all those games we would play
Staying up til 6 am staring at your face
Back when my mind wasn’t a horrifying place
Torn apart but I continue to keep breathing
Because until my family does I’m not leaving
Every night it’s a serious struggle to fall asleep
Gods looking down like “this soul I can’t keep”
I’m too broken to be put in a “perfect home”
So I sit here and I ponder in my own dome
About all the promises you made to me
About all the talks of us having a family
Should’ve knew it was all another lie
Went from scared of death to wanting to die
Told me you loved me and kept me warm
Softening up my heart for the future harm
I put down my walls and I let you come inside
It’s all over and I can’t count the nights I cried
I don’t hate you and I will never be able to
I just want you to watch all the greatness I do
I want you to see me grow from nothing at all
Your kids asking to buy all my stuff at the mall
Everywhere you go you’re gonna see me
I bet then you’d try to say it’s meant to be
I’m so sick and tired of being your last option
Scared of being hurt I approach with caution
I’m so numb this pain doesn’t hurt anymore
Don’t love you or hate you I just gotta ignore
You hurt me so bad way beyond repair
You were one of the only ones who were there
Now everything’s gone like you disappeared
Showed me that I have to be more self aware
Taught me how some people only take
Thank you for being my favorite mistake

This poem is about my old best friend
Who was right next to me until the very end
He was a black and white dog we found astray
Even though you passed away
In my heart you will always be around to stay
I love you like a brother, I miss you everyday
Lady and omega were the best duo around
I can’t seem to forget that awful day I found
You paralyzed in my backyard unable to move
It didn’t occur to me what I was about to lose
My buddy, my pal, and my sweet little dude
The way you were taken from me was so rude
I still remember running home from school
Get back home and mess around with my fool
You had energy for weeks and I love you
I just wish I could’ve heard you say it too
Your fur was so soft and your heart was softer
I remember the day when you became a father
You became more aware and a lot more gentle
You still came over and gave my face a tickle
You knew how to cheer me up if I was down
And you never ever left me with a frown
I could hug you when I was scared and I would
I wish I had more time, I’d go back if I could
Feel like everything was fine, fall asleep
I would pray to god for our souls he’d keep
But you’re gone now and all I have is azure
So with her through all this pain we will endure
Promise that I never let anything happen to her
You would’ve loved her she’s like her mother
You’re gone but never forgotten
As long as I have azure my heart wont rotten
Every time I look at her I think about omega
I love you buddy always and forever <3

In my state of mind I find myself dead
Put me on my knees and fill my head with lead
No I’m not talking bullets I’m talking chemicals
Experiment in my head and watch it explode
I’m my state of mind I’m just another mode
For you to try when you’re bored and all alone
Help end this nightmare for this isn’t my home
I’m stuck in a maze and everyday it changes
I see an exit but it’s always at extreme ranges
So why even bother when every step hurts
I’d die before I got there so bring me a hearse
Because In my state of.. huh where’d that go
Oops give me a sec I think it went really low
I knew I should’ve locked it up sometime ago
My heart hurts my brain and it starts to show
So my mind likes to wander to escape the pain
It’s usually out somewhere out in the rain
Trying to trash the thoughts and feelings
Casting out all of my evil villains
I like my mind it helps me.. oh there you are
It created its own little Hollywood Boulevard
With everyone that hurt me as the big stars
Look there goes me trying to solve everything
There goes me throwing away a wedding ring
There goes me crying and overthinking
I’m by myself in a corner with no sympathy
And here comes everyone else to yell at me
“You weren’t enough and you never will be”
I don’t think you guys should watch anymore
Come over here and let’s go through this door
Welcome to the land of Gabe’s make believe
Where love and positivity just grows on a tree
Oh hey you shut that door please
If something got into here it could be a disease
Everything beyond that door is evil and dark
So let’s just start and play with this tree bark
Because in my state of mind everything’s okay
I just wish you could all stick around and play
It’s about that time again for you guys to go
It’s better for you not to see what I know
I mean hey everything’s alright around here
Just carefully exit out of that door over there
GOODBYE

Wake up next to you in our own bed
I couldn’t picture anyone else in my head
Wouldn’t want anyone else instead
I’ll love you before and after we’re dead
When I’m all alone and it feels like it’s only me
I see you and smile, for your love is my therapy
I could be broke down and crying on my knees
It’s like your love is the cure to my disease
I’ve been stuck with depression most my life
But that all changes when I see you as my wife
You say you aren’t perfect but that’s all I see
Everything about you is how it’s meant to be
You’ve got these beautiful eyes and smile
I’d go ever farther than the extra mile
To hear you laugh and make you go crazy
I’d even be here on the days where you’re lazy
Bring you breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed
Lay down and talk about the book you read
I can’t wait to laugh, argue, and love with you
I’ll be right here when you’re feeling a bit blue
We can go hiking in the big old mountains or
We can go on walks along the shallow shore
We can go to a scary park and get a scare
Or we can stay at home and I’ll do your hair
We can go bowling even though I **** at it
Or we can play laser tag where I’ll get every hit
We can stay inside and snuggle real close
Talk about children and see how that goes
I’m so happy that it was me that you chose
I’ll bring you chocolate with a big red rose
And when you aren’t expecting it I’ll propose
I want to make you the happiest girl alive
But first in my life you have to arrive

You ask if I’m okay I say I am but I’m really not
For I have a grave inside my head where I rot
I’m fine, I’ll be okay, I’ve been stopped crying
I’m so sick and tired of doing all this lying
I need help but I’m too afraid to admit it
Feel pain just to know it’s real like a wrist slit
Sometimes I wonder if you’re even real
Sometimes it’s better to not even feel
I’m sick and I’m tired of breathing all this air
I try so hard to be there but it isn’t fair
You’re a virus in my mind and I’m corrupted
I try to run away but my brain is being hunted
My heart is so confused and all It wants is you
Yeah I made mistakes but it was only a few
I lost everything the day you walked out
I don’t even know what I’m tripping about
Knew it wouldn’t work but we did it anyway
And you know I’m down to do it again any day
Who knows maybe the 30th times the charm
Who knows maybe one day we’ll do no harm
My heart and my mind are having a civil war
I don’t know why I can’t control this anymore
I love it when you say you hate me say it again
I’ll only ever want you as more than a friend
I know you’ll only see me as nothing but an ex
I hate to admit it but I still look at our old text
And I really should move on and go to the next
I guess you’ll never feel the same about me
I hate that you’re the stems to my broken tree

This part is about a loser named Henry
It’s a shame that hearing that name
Doesn’t bring up a single good memory
Coke addict, acting like life’s a game
You put us all through so much pain
Supposed to be my father bruh you so lame
Forget about us or just too much *******
Looking around you’re not in any picture frame
Now that I think about it I wouldn’t want that
Even if you were here for me you’d hurt her
Feel like bashing your skull with a baseball bat
Never going back to the way things were
Brought me into this world and left me alone
Cheated on my momma and let our world burn
A few days ago you called my moms phone
Such a disappointment that you never learn
Guess you’ll always be this pathetic
Now we’re supposed to just forgive you for it
Hate to break it to you it isn’t that poetic
I don’t want you in my life not the slightest bit
Not even gonna keep wasting my time writing
Don’t even try to come back for real just quit
Wish I could say I love you but I’d be lying
Part two is about a “man” named Sean
Took over from Henry’s spot but still did wrong
Any respect I had for you is permanently gone
Nostrils so big you remind me of King Kong
Sure you and I had some really good times
But that doesn’t make what you did to us right
Arrested so much for all of those stupid crimes
Hurt mom because you couldn’t win a fair fight
Never were around for one of my birthdays
To busy cheating on my mom and using us
You weren’t the same man on the first days
Said you wanna talk so let’s start to discuss
Why weren’t you there for all my big moments
Promised us love and gave us all poison
Abused my family like we were your opponents
A no brainer on why you’re always in prison
You once sat me and asked shoot or salute me
I really thought about what I would say
So this is the place where I let my mind free
Now that I think about it I’d shoot you all day
Before I start part three I wanna say thanks
Thank you to all good fathers out there
Showing love to their kids unlike these cranks
Dave, Llama, Mike, and even you Breeze
Thank you for being my closest father figures
Thank you for making my life a bit more easy
Now this is where the poem transfigures
Part three is about a man called Apa
I’m really happy you’re in my life now
Even if I’m too old to call you papa
Make my momma smile and I don’t know how
But it makes me smile when I see y’all together
You changed her life forever and we need you
Been here a few months but it’s already better
Already doing better than the last few
You went from a twig to a sumo wrestler
Hope you stick around for a while and do good
For my mother and us you’re a nestler
Help take us away from the ghetto hood
You bring us all laughs and smiles
With those corny jokes and those stupid looks
Your jokes could make us all laugh for miles
I know you’ve had hard out there like crooks
And I can tell you’re trying to get better
I appreciate all you’ve done for our family
So I hope we don’t end this on a hate letter
I’m glad I can finally say this happily
Happy Father’s Day