if you have seen
what i have seen,
you'd realize why
i am so mean.
if you knew all
that i know of,
you would understand
why i'm messed up.
i've been pushed
and kicked around,
yet through it all
i've made no sound.
if you have lived
a life like me
then you would know
what i have seen.

i want to peel your skin back
and reveal your deepest sweetness.
to look at your veins
and memorize their paths.
maybe then i’d understand
why you are so rough on the outside.
it takes a lot of work,
digging your fingernails into the flesh,
pulling and pulling until you are bare.
but it is all worth it;
to visit your center,
to break past what conceals you,
and take you apart
slice by slice.

I saw a picture of my dad today,
It shocked me that his hair is grey.
I didn’t recognise his face,
New lines that the years had placed.
It hit me hard inside my chest,
It knocked me back and took my breath.
I do not know that man I saw,
Hardly remember him anymore.
And I wonder if he would know me,
If a picture of me he were to see.

Just because you might think me mental
Doesn't mean I want to be
An experiment.
I admit it, I thought Quiet Riot was cool.
What?

one of my biggest fears is
that I'll work a 9 to 5 job
that I despise and drains me

I don't want to work a job that pays the bills
and is physically and emotionally draining
I want to do what I love and make good money

I know that that sounds naive
but I see the effects the menial job
that kills you slowly
taking everything out of you
with barely any energy at the end of the day