It’s not real
Her smile
It’s not real
…
Someone once asked her what she was doing on the cliff
She said “ getting a better view “
“Of what ?”
She smiled

Shhhh...
whisper with me.
lets break the silents
but respect the guidance it brings.
find the romance and dance together in remembrance of
souls with tiny feet that left our bodies for the times we must grow.

Dancing on the cliff of the world
singing to the sun

Don't worry I forgive you for not being the people you were supposed to be as a family member.
I understand that you were completely incapable of seeing blood isn't an option
I know that it is now.
I've forgiven you for all the things you have done to me.
All of you
you see me as a corrupted mind.
Someone with problems
But I was your problem.
And you made it simple to solve me by writing me off as someone who you can go and complain to
But you drew the line there because I can't do the same with you.
You made it a point with your sly comments beating around the bush trying to make sure you insult me without being blamed for the words like I was hearing things.
But that's just it.
I was hearing things
I was hearing the spaces between each word.
The fact that I'm here but I'm not.
Because I'm here for you, but I'm not here for me
I forgive you all for not seeing everything that I did right while you found things to literally lie about.
Things that never happened.
yeah, but I'm the crazy one.
but I forgive you for that
I forgive you for not truly treating me as family.
truth is if that's family then I want no part of it.
blood may be thicker than water.
that is true
but everyone has blood running through their veins and ill make my own family.
one where I belong
I forgive you though.
for destroying a family member when they were already falling apart.
For walking away and going to a bar and making me come "home" when I was in my safe place.
For choosing drugs over me
For giving your daughter to me and ripping her away when you decided that you wanted her back for your own selfish benefits.
for sending me to school crying
for kissing an ex of mine from a past three year relationship just a couple months later then apologizing just to do it again a few more months later
For not believing me when things happened simply because you didn't SEE it.
For showing and choosing one daughter that changed your life with the same birthday.
For not leaving when I moved out at 12
For not asking me to come back when I was 13
for waiting till I was graduated to care.
For telling me I need help.
I do
For being the last people that I can come too.
I guess I don't forgive you.
Because you cant take responsibility for your actions
how can you when those actions are being repeated?
No, I don't forgive you.
But, seriously, when would you ever apologize anyway?

I'm back and still bleeding the same sugar that got me no where
I'm stuck and still feeling the feelings that they feel
but I don't want to
        WELL YOU'RE GOING TO.
but I don't want to.
        BUT YOU'RE GOING TO ANYWAYS.
I fight with my self some times.
Isn't it funny?
        NOT REALLY
I saw you crying the other day when you were at your house texting me with smiley faces and lols
Empathy man it's just great.
I'd take your pain if I could
       YEAH YOU WILL.
make it stop
Whats wrong?
          JUST TASTE THE HONEY.
I don't like honey
         THEN DRINK THE VINEGAR
I don't like that either.
        BUT IT'S ALWAYS WHAT YOU WANT
but I'm in the back of my own line.
because I'd take your pain, your hurt, and your aches.
I'd take it for you because i already feel it so why not take it all?
       YOU'LL TAKE IT AND LIVE WITH IT GROW ALONG SIDE IT AND CONTINUE TO DO SO TILL I SAY TO STOP.
I said to stop.
But my mind and voice won't come together and agree.
so I'll live with the empathy