My life is unfair I don't know where to begin
I love and yet receive none
my parents love me out of guilt
my siblings love me because of what I can do for them
My lover he think that that the ink on these pages are not from my heart if I Could tear a piece of my heart and write my soul out would you then believe my that these pages are filled with stories that mean the world to me if I tear my heart and write
you would see my heart bleeding on these pages you would see my broken truth
You would see my troubled soul so for today alone
I'll tear a sample of my heart to show you my care just for today you'll see my heart bleeding on to these pages just for today you'll see the scared little girl too afraid to talk because of the fear of being beaten
Just for today you'll see the apologetic teen who keeps apologising because of the torment she faced
Just for today you'll see the suicidal girl who thinks her life is meaninglessness
Just for today you'll see the girl who is afraid to love
Just for today I'll show you the still beating yet bruised heart
Do you see it now
my heart bleeding on the these pages do you feel the pain  
Coming from these ****** pages
Have the vacant lines been filled with
The broken pen unable to write
do you see the crooked words my
informal sentences do you see it
I hope you saw my bleeding heart just for today

2 years ago I fell in love
2 years ago I was yours
The years flew by and we were separated by nothing but time
My love grew and my heart ache
My heart ache and my love felt the pain
He went to study time and distance became my enemy
He got a female roomy
She's sees him in ways I don't
She understands him while I don't
She's more like a lover n I the friend why do I feel like it's a competition
I feel like I'm losing my baby to another
Maybe She's twice the woman I'll ever be
I ask about his day he gets annoyed
I ask about her he gets annoyed
I ask about us he gets annoyed
Where do I stand maybe it's because I suffocate him with my rules
With my lack of trust
I show compassion it goes unnoticed
She breathe and I suffer
What should I do
Should I trust
Should I ignore my feelings
He made it clear that's there's nothing there I do believe him but still
When she breathe I'm left in pain
Maybe if I trust him and let go of my jealousy it would be fine

But yet all I know is there's a woman who's comforting my baby in ways I can't no not sexually mentally
My love my baby tell me how do I cope how do I go on knowing about this woman who makes you laugh
I trust you I love you
But how do I let go of my jealousy

I see your eyes enlarging with fear, as I step forward with nothing but a tear in my eyes. I really don't want to do this. But,you hurting me is repetitive like a broken record player. As I step closer, I see your face flushed as I ****** the knife back and forth. I raised the knife and stabbed you repeatedly as the blood splashed all over my body. Oh, this feeling, this spectacular feeling! I suddenly feel alive. I feel your energy enter my body as life leaves yours. As your once beautiful opaque body becomes nothing but my work of art, like a carpenter, I carved you as I wanted. Like a potter, I made you into my masterpiece. Have I gone too far? Do I no longer enjoy the feeling of blood running from my talented arm? Oh, this blood is like honey; the taste is vivid and so sweet. My dearest friend, you will forever be embedded in my memory of that wonderful night when we became one with your blood, your precious blood all over me. I feel like a celestial being. This heavenly feeling, I hope it won't fade. I hope it lasts forever. I will cherish our memories, but I will always make new friends so you don't feel lonely, my dear friend.it last forever I will cherish our memories but I will always make new friends so you don't feel lonely my dear friend.

They say roses are red and violet are blue
I say that nothing is really true
There different kinds of roses different colors
Even white so tell me if I should sit and sip on some red wine when I feel love when I feel happy or jolly maybe even rid on a pony thinking about this is funny because  I know there are different kind of violet even purple and blue so tell what should I do when I feel blue should I sit at the edge of a wall hoping to be push looking all flush or should I be still and be silence is this a poem oh I forgot when I'm blue I can only think of the red as the pages bleed with my words my heart racing thinking of what I'm facing I guess there two side to ever coin just like your heart I don't know if you bleed at my displeasure or if you wish to see me cover in these pages I guess your word really are like a two edged sword i wish instead of word you'll actually use a sword thinking back I'm wondering if I ever belong in your heart was there ever space for me did I really think it was vacant I guess it's occupied with hatred for me or maybe you have prepared a vacant tomb ready to be occupied

After you I'll run
even though walking is quite fun
After you I'll start over
hoping to find a four leaf clover
I've spent enough time crying so After you
I'll live with only laughter
Maybe you did me a favour  
Because baby you  were just not my flavour

I want to hide it
But it disappeared,
feeling nothing is a bit....
overwhelming,
and just like that,
I realized its turned off,
I'm wondering, would it come back harder,
without a warning?
Would those feelings, those emotions come rushing back in my mind,
like a flood that was waiting to be released?
I hate not knowing any other way to deal,
it comes like second nature to me,
to be able to turn off a part of my mind,
It happened automatically,
I didn't even try.
Guess my body developed
a healing mechanism.
but at the same time,
I have to walk through life not feeling anything,
I don't miss those feelings
I wish I could maybe I shouldn't