Distruction pollutes the air .
‎He's my green but your green pollutes the space.
‎Your head has created the mess that lies in your home
‎And your hand has dissolved your senses , rotting you to the core
‎
‎You hate yourself just like before
‎Only now it's written on your face
‎You hate everything and nothing
‎My worries are for you just a bore
‎
‎You that held every value with your chest
‎Now only lets the weirdest takes escape
‎That mouth of yours pathetically camouflages your insecurity
‎And barely hides the sadness of your stare

‎
‎All the things I praised you for are now a distant memory
‎All the things that held us close keeps us talking ,barely
‎I no longer see the light I'd compliment you for
‎open your eyes and darkness cloud them evenly .
‎
‎
‎Life took that light away and I'm aware of that
‎It's Life that will bring it back I need you to know that
‎Not the script you've been playing on repeat
‎Your blinded by the money and the haze
Your vision ever so meak
‎
You've dropped your brain on the shelf
doing '15 year old' things at your 18 year old self
‎Did you not learn a thing in all this mess ?
‎Your sins haunt you even after death

‎

I’m 18 and the wind feels like a storm
The air feels like peroxide
It’s messy, everywhere
Inside, outside my mind

I’m 18 and have all bark and no fight
Everyone says I’m alright
It is true I enjoy life, a little too much ,
I guess they’re right.

The weakest currents sway me
Walking away seems against the tide
I stand and hope no one sees me
Trying. barely holding on to life.

I dwell in the intensity and dwell in the present
I create melancholy in this exact instant
Nostalgia breeds the nothingness  inside of me
Kills my inner child ,leaves room for adolescence

I prefer my heart tortured than at peace
Feeling something triumphs it all to me
This spiraling is what seems to keep me alive
Hanging on the nothing and could’ve beens

I’m 18 and the wind feels like a storm
Feels like I was waiting for this moment , since the day I was born
Waiting for my heart to yearn , waiting for my heart to be torn
Breaking in a thousand pieces yet still wanting more

Crashing under the pressure of the gale
dust sealing me eyes shut in a second
falling once again on my face
hoping there are lessons to be made
hoping I can enjoy my mistakes .

Your eyes are painted with much turmoil and it hurts just to look at them
forgive me for not looking you in the eye I’m tortured by a truth you don’t want to hear
Tortured by your future that seems unclear

A cloud has blurred everything you are , dissipated in that smoke of yours , my love no longer reaches your soul , only hovers over you in a bore

Words only caress your heart perhaps a hug could play that part ?
Tell me what drives you mad
So we can find the breaks fast
Time flies so fast , I’ve already forgotten who we were without the crazy parts .

You’re beautiful .
Your beauty was so blinding .
The entirety of you was to my souls content .
I loved you and everything you were .
Every single thing .
Nothing about you could push me away and everything about you drew me in .
The doubt that clouds your mind could never cloud  mine because if I was to be sure of one thing , it would be my love for you .
The hesitation in your words and your self deprecating ones could never meet my ears and even less meet my eyes because something so far from my sentiment could never be considered .

I’ll move oceans and I’ll call the wind
To move in my favour ,spin on a whim
To forbid foul says of your being to spread
To erase false names before they even escape

To forbid your eyes to be dimmed of their light
It’s only for me to do it , it’s my birthright
I don’t care how many storms I cause
Nor how many endless wars
Your my pillar , your worth the fight

You replaced the endless green that bloomed in my heart
You replaced it with your being like it was never hard
You took it all to leave me with nonthing
Leaving in my mouth a taste similar to tar

I don’t care that we’re not meant to be
As you can see I’m still quite lonely
It’s not about you and your love for me
But about that void you could fill for me

So those who speak of our severance
Will have to learn some tolerance
Cause it is simply impractible
When I’m bathing in this loneliness

A grey cloud covers her sky , Its raining in her mind tonight ,
first a drop made the vase leak and ever since its been spilling through her eyes .
She cant figure out how to make it stop , as she doesn’t know why , So she just waits till it empties,she waits a lifeteime .

And when her eyes aren’t the subject of a tsunami, it’s her heart that takes the weight of the entre ocean .
it’s her heart that becomes blue ,
as an irregular rythm is set in motion ,
But her heart gets so full so fast,
and the vase is only half empty ,
she feels it beating so hard , right beneath her skin .

So she swallows It all , glad that now  she feels it less ,
she’s meant to be eating and swallowing , so it all makes sense . Then suddenly she’s not hungry for anything but  water and  air , and even that is now suffocating .

She chokes on it , drowns in it , as now it exudes from her pores , no matter how much gets out , there always seems to be more , oh the lord knows how she’d want it to stop ,  wants to stop it all.

It fills her up , and fills her mouth,only for her to ***** it out , hoping its all of it , shes purposefully gags , ignoring her groans and moans that are now ever so loud .

she empties her stomach's contents , that now has no water , no, only air. She hopes she's finally taken away part of the trouble and part of the blue that messed up her head .

but the vase is only half empty , she reminds herself , still its begging for exit , a crack in it is enough for the story to repeat-itself .

You’re a lesson not a lover,
A fact a struggle to reconcile with
Cause you were everything that mattered
Now I barely even miss you within

My pretty boy your pride no longer makes you sweet,
You would’ve been sour if I had got a taste
All that sin and being so mean
Has left us with a foul aftertaste

And when does sun appear, your presence disappears
Leaving place to colour, gold and beautiful ebony
But when the sun goes down, you creep on me
Like the devil in the night
Now all I see is dark, blue, blue and blue,
Tainted with some green but still so ever blue

And I’m submerged by a wave of blue sea,
That suffocates me once again,
Removing the air, I know now wasn’t you
But you aren’t here, so you took my breath away
You aren’t here, so there’s nothing for you take