You’re beautiful .
Your beauty was so blinding .
The entirety of you was to my souls content .
I loved you and everything you were .
Every single thing .
Nothing about you could push me away and everything about you drew me in .
The doubt that clouds your mind could never cloud  mine because if I was to be sure of one thing , it would be my love for you .
The hesitation in your words and your self deprecating ones could never meet my ears and even less meet my eyes because something so far from my sentiment could never be considered .

I’ll move oceans and I’ll call the wind
To move in my favour ,spin on a whim
To forbid foul says of your being to spread
To erase false names before they even escape

To forbid your eyes to be dimmed of their light
It’s only for me to do it , it’s my birthright
I don’t care how many storms I cause
Nor how many endless wars
Your my pillar , your worth the fight

You replaced the endless green that bloomed in my heart
You replaced it with your being like it was never hard
You took it all to leave me with nonthing
Leaving in my mouth a taste similar to tar

I don’t care that we’re not meant to be
As you can see I’m still quite lonely
It’s not about you and your love for me
But about that void you could fill for me

So those who speak of our severance
Will have to learn some tolerance
Cause it is simply impractible
When I’m bathing in this loneliness

The burden it is to carry all things that move me  

To feel the things that hurt , but not the ones that heal me  

Clouded by the incertainty of brighter days  

Haunted by regrets and what could’ve been’s



To feel the frown behind every laughter  

To see everyone’s smile slightly waver  

To be awrae of your goodness ,  

But so sure of the latter  



And when it rains in my city tonight ,  

I walk through every spot that reminds me of him  

I drown in that green and drown in those  eyes

Not cause i love him, no ,cause i miss him



And my smile appears but still it wavers  

Cause  altough he works like food to my brain  

It leaves me with a bitter aftertaste  

But i savour him , so sweet , so tender

A grey cloud covers her sky , Its raining in her mind tonight ,
first a drop made the vase leak and ever since its been spilling through her eyes .
She cant figure out how to make it stop , as she doesn’t know why , So she just waits till it empties,she waits a lifeteime .

And when her eyes aren’t the subject of a tsunami, it’s her heart that takes the weight of the entre ocean .
it’s her heart that becomes blue ,
as an irregular rythm is set in motion ,
But her heart gets so full so fast,
and the vase is only half empty ,
she feels it beating so hard , right beneath her skin .

So she swallows It all , glad that now  she feels it less ,
she’s meant to be eating and swallowing , so it all makes sense . Then suddenly she’s not hungry for anything but  water and  air , and even that is now suffocating .

She chokes on it , drowns in it , as now it exudes from her pores , no matter how much gets out , there always seems to be more , oh the lord knows how she’d want it to stop ,  wants to stop it all.

It fills her up , and fills her mouth,only for her to ***** it out , hoping its all of it , shes purposefully gags , ignoring her groans and moans that are now ever so loud .

she empties her stomach's contents , that now has no water , no, only air. She hopes she's finally taken away part of the trouble and part of the blue that messed up her head .

but the vase is only half empty , she reminds herself , still its begging for exit , a crack in it is enough for the story to repeat-itself .

You’re a lesson not a lover,
A fact a struggle to reconcile with
Cause you were everything that mattered
Now I barely even miss you within

My pretty boy your pride no longer makes you sweet,
You would’ve been sour if I had got a taste
All that sin and being so mean
Has left us with a foul aftertaste

And when does sun appear, your presence disappears
Leaving place to colour, gold and beautiful ebony
But when the sun goes down, you creep on me
Like the devil in the night
Now all I see is dark, blue, blue and blue,
Tainted with some green but still so ever blue

And I’m submerged by a wave of blue sea,
That suffocates me once again,
Removing the air, I know now wasn’t you
But you aren’t here, so you took my breath away
You aren’t here, so there’s nothing for you take

have i ever wanted this as bad as i do now?
as bad as i feel after obtaining it ?
I give in as i plan my own demise , my one damnation
waking up from a mystical dream
compelling myself to forget the deed
As i keep to myself as I'm only to blame
blamed for executing my dying will.
will the guilt be so lethal i could ****
**** myself to start over do it again
how could something hurt but hurt so good ?
so good that it gives it's place to this.
feeling.
leaving no room for healing

you're right In front of me but still I grieve you
my feelings have changed the feel of your cheeks
the warmth of your voice and the feel of your touch
I flinch at your contact although I don't mean to

you stare into my eyes and even then I grieve you
there's something about you that's not entirely 'you'
what has changed , what did a couple months do to you ?
you're right Infront of me but still I grieve you

you grin at me and still I grieve you
your smile lacks the innocence you once held
all your beauty is suddenly so blue
and your heart is so far it has escaped