Jessie A

Jessie A Mar 2017

Before me there lies,
A beast, with such ominous eyes,
Showing big sharp teeth,
It growls, shaking the ground beneath,
I flee but I fall,
And I can't seem to crawl,
With my ears,
I hear soft tears,
I manage to turn around,
And I follow your sound,
I find you, and I flee to your side,
Finding a heart deep inside,
I see your mistaken by others eyes,
The way I feel deep inside,
Your much like me I see,
Best friends, were meant to be.

Jessie A Mar 2017

My Childish Endeavors

I once could fly
Higher than my image of the sky
I thought of life as a fairytale
But once was a fairytale, became a hell
I thought that I could be anything that I wanted
But now, it leaves me haunted
The world wasn't how I thought it would be
But now, my experienced eyes see
Life were if it were my castle, and I were the princess
But now, that life is useless
Now things are far more different
Now you need everyone's endorsement
As a child things were never perfect
But back then I just lived in the moment
I used to dream higher than the sky
But now, I must say goodbye
Because the thought of my childish endeavors
May haunt me forever

#life #dreams #childishdreams

Jessie A Mar 2017

Broken

I reach down into my heart,
Careful not to tear it apart.
Then I discover all the pieces,
There is a feeling that not one teaches.
I always knew that I was broken,
Knowing I could never be ones token.
I want things that few desire,
Things that would make your weak mind tire.
I start to feel all of the stress,
As I watch the constant rise and fall of my chest.
I set a lock upon my mind,
I think of things that even your mind couldn't grind.
I hate the feeling of what I am,
I'm tired of feeling the painful cram.
Sometimes I look in the mirror,
Wishing that the image would disappear.
Is it bad that I think this about myself? Surely it is bad for my health.

#broken #frustration #selfhate

Jessie A Mar 2017

A Mothers Love

A mothers love can mean so much,
Down to every word and single touch.
When I was younger I never questioned,
The love of which my mom hardly ever mentioned.
As I got older the words slipped away,
Sometimes I wish the words were here to stay.
Sometimes I express my love,
But I'm tired of being pushed away like a bug.
Sometimes she teases me way too much,
But she doesn't realize I hate myself enough.
There are things that my mother has said,
Things that I keep going over and over in my head.
What she said cut me deep,
A pain I wish I wouldn't keep.
Her words can't be undone,
The thought of them makes me want to run.
I hate the words she said so much,
Maybe because they were right to the touch.

Jessie A Mar 2017

The Moon

The moon and life are alike
They both have their good and bad days
The light of the moon resembles the good
The darkness of the moon resembles the bad
But it is us that chooses which way to go with what we are given
The moon can be dark, but it turns back to light once again.

#life

Jessie A Mar 2017

I Can't Help Myself

I can't help myself!
I keep falling into the same hole that I dug,
Being stupid as if I were a mindless little bug.
I say I'm not going to make the same mistake again,
Because I'm tired of living a life that's full of sin.
I can't help myself!
The temptations are way too much,
My temptations are addicting like the softness of a touch.
I can't help myself!
Sometimes I cry because of the person  that I am,
It's like the devil keeps selling me the same  old scam.
I keep falling for it over and over,
All the devil has to say is roll over.
I can't help myself!
I know I'm young and I'll make mistakes,
But one mistake is all that it takes.
One mindless decision could ruin my life,
The decision that makes me choose a life or a knife.
I can't help myself!
I try to crawl up the hole,
But it's like I lost my soul.
Sometimes I do things and I don't care,
There's a  feeling of numbness that no one can repair.
I can't help myself!
It's crazy what temptations will do,
Making you feel like it will always be apart of you.
It's like I can't say no,
It's throwing me over and over again in the same hole.
I can't help myself...

— The End —