I’m fine…
Is what I say everytime,
When you ask if I’m okay,
I don’t wanna hide,
But I feel like you’ll judge me and I don’t know why,
I can’t tell you what’s going on inside,
But something inside of me, fills my head with lies, and I can’t control it.
My anger, my sadness, the rage inside,
Tearing me up, clawing me from the inside, Holding me under, a never ending tide, of self loathing.
Changing me into something I’m not,
Causing doubt within all of my thoughts,
Making me forget all that I’ve been taught,
Like how to love myself.
How to smile at the red headed reflection,
The girl who fell victim to the power of suggestion,
Because our society is so far from redemption,
That it’s become a battlefield between acceptance and rejection,
Girls filling themselves with plastic and lip injections,
For what?
To be pretty?
To be accepted by people who don’t know who you are,
To be adored by the community that left you with scars,  
The world that we live in keeps us behind bars, and shackle us to certain beliefs.
The beliefs of a place that don’t care about race,
You could be a kid, but they will always discriminate,
Will things ever change?
Will we ever be comfortable in our own skin?
No matter what side you on, this war will never end,
If your skinny, gain weight.
If your big, lose weight.
If you show of your skin your considered a ***,
If you don’t show skin, you may as well stay at home.
Because no one will want you.
These are the lies of our glorious society,
The place responsible for the suicidal thoughts I have of me,
For the deaths of sweet souls, crying out in need,
For someone to tell them their perfect,
To love them for the person they are,
To encourage them to chase the stars,
To tell them that they can colonize Mars,
Because we can’t do this in our own.
Self motivation is hard when you don’t love what you see,
Like when your down in a rut you think it’s as good as it will ever be,
But you are perfect.
Love yourself for who you are,
Whether your skinny, fat, or your skin has scars,
Love your stretch marks and puffy eyes,
Your back rolls, or your rib cage outlines.
Because society can’t tell you that your not good enough.
Because all society is, is people who can’t stand it when you love yourself for who you are.

You see a smile,
A soft glance of her green eyes,
You've noticed her before, but something new shines within her eyes,
Yet she's not much to look at,
Other than her *******, eyes, and thighs,
She doesn't look up from her phone or her feet,
She just keeps walking under the cold fluorescent lights,
As she feels the eyes of her peers lingering on her skin,
As if poking, prodding, waiting to get in,
You take her for granted, as if prey for your eyes,
But she's just a human being,
Not just her *******, eyes, and thighs.

She was born a rose,
With deep red cheeks and hair blonde as gold,
Companied by a smile so kind, it was said to heal your soul.
And this "rose" was held delicately in the hearts of those who met her,
As she was just a young girl, with a heart made of gold,
But this "rose" had thorns to protect her sweet heart,
Only to be picked, and used, and thrown, and stomped,
By the world who didn't care about her or her thoughts,
By a world that kept spinning, when she was hurting and lost,
So that "rose" used her thorns to keep people away,
And finally, finally, got things to go her way,
Till one day she was picked,
When a "bee" landed on her petal,
So she shook and fought and punched and kicked,
But that "bee" didn't sting her, at least not right away,
Instead he stuck around, day after day,
Till one day he got tired of that "rose,"
And she had thought things were going okay,
And then he left.
And she was back to square one.
Her thorns had grown dull and her petals had holes,
And she again, picked herself up,
Ready for the next one.
Until the last petal fell.

Just a few dollars a month and we’ll make it go away,
Just take one with water at the start of every day,
In the same way you wake up every day,
These pills will be here, leading you every step of the way,
Out of the darkness, and into the light,
Then back to the darkness, where the symptoms lie,
Waiting,
To tear your mind apart,
To drive you crazy,
To weaken your heart,
But there’s no need to worry,
We have more pills if these ones don’t work,
So just take these and wait,
Until there comes the day,
That the meds stop working, so the doctor comes to say,
“There’s nothing more we can do, but we do invite you to stay,
We have a spot with Kathy, over in room 3A,
She screams at night, but it will be okay,
You’ll get used to it.
Now, we won’t really listen to you,
We have more important things to do,
Than to comfort a crazy mental issues,
But it’ll be okay.
So, what do you say?”

That time of year again,
When the grass bares a light crisp,
The trees stand barren,
Air into sweet smelling whisps,
Of a season so fragile,
It comes and it goes,
With birds flying south,
Families coming home,
It's that time of year again,
Time to go home.

I'm gone.

And if I'm not,
Then I'm slowly fading,
Erased from thought,
My mind degrading,
Memories on fire,
Existence blazing,
But through the fire,
I stand there gazing.

But...

I'm lost.

Because if I wasn't,
Then I would be found,
Raised from the ashes,
Like a phoenix heavenbound,
So I'll face the thrashes,
Of anxiety leaving my mind,
I am forever now ashes,
Of a phoenix,
That fell to the ground.