In times before, I brushed against death
Different place and time, longing for another
Fractals of horrible thoughts infinite in repetition
But thankfully, she was next

I look back at him, not sure of who he is
So different and chained never to be free
Hell-bent on self destruction and isolation
I can't believe that this was me

Scars don't fade, but I take a breath
Different country, different day, I found my other
Euphoria on repetition through my brain
I am thankful that she is next to me
Thank you, my Destiny

The chills echo down my spine
Like the last words of my love
I contemplate the next step
I wonder if I am better off above
I realize that there is more to life
Before I do what can't be undone
I reverse this state of mind
And I find something to be my Sun

She laughs and she cries
She leaves me hung
She breathes and she dies
I think I'm done
I hope to God I can find someone
To warm me up, to be my Sun.

A life that controls you is a life out of control
So I stare out the window hoping the colors arn't dull
While avoiding the pounding that's breaking my skull
I stare at my phone waiting for you to call
While balancing on my sanity hoping I don't fall
I'm close to the edge yet I continue to stall
While I'm fading away, but it's not your fault

I don't plan to die because my will is strong
But my heart shatters if I hear certain songs
It sounds cliche but I promise you're wrong
I am anything but happy and calm
I continue to hurt with each word that I write
But I do it because I know that it's right
In the long run I'll feel better is what they say every night
Although maybe fading out is better than a fight

The sun shined down onto my face
Couldn't find out why it reminded me of a certain time and place
A memory forgotten but not fully erased
I struggle to remember but then I'm hit with the pain
Why did you run away, and why didn't I chase?

"Remember fun?"
"Remember love?"
"Remember me?"
"Remember us?"
I asked why
But you just smiled and waved at me
Your last guy

Lungs collapsing from the heavy breaths
The memory of her laying on my chest
She brought me pain I thought she jest
Left unnamed and surely blessed
I feel her name inside my neck
The words abstained they could've left
I feel detained inside my head
The air feels heavy when inside my chest

Long dark corridors lacking memories within
The doors locked shut to keep her in
I could never forget the smile she hid
Just because I wasn't him
She told me things I wish I never heard
Like words unsaid to remain unhurt
I wish those words remained unheard
I've gone insane but still feel every word

The vapor leaves my lungs
As nicotine calms me down
The pain I feel today
Could never burn me down
You said you'd be alright
I trusted you somehow
The pain I feel today
Might just burn me down

You promised me you'd stay
Yet you leave me here to drown
The vapor exits my lungs
I think I'm falling now
I feel like getting sleep
But I know I'm not allowed
Because this pain I feel today
Has made me hate the lack of sounds

Alone we wait inside our heads
We're trapped in constant pain and dread
Before the first time our eyes even met
I knew in the end I'd wish I were dead

You call and cry then repeat, but I'm trying
To break the cycle that keeps you crying
When we're together the light begins shining
But in the end the two of us are dying

I asked for her forgiveness only to be met with greed
She did not want to give but only to receive
I only felt at peace when I was deep within sleep
"What did I do?" was the question I 'd repeat
I had not realized what lead to my defeat

Alone in the snow fingers interlocked, but they're my own
Trying to remember the feeling of her throat
I gave her my body and I gave her my soul
But she still wanted more so I gave her my home
My mind was destroyed now an empty dome
She's taken my heart and I'm left with a stone
"What did I do?" I asked myself
..."Oh"...