It amazes me
How much one person
Can change
Over a few months

I don't recognize
The person who
I used to be
No longer is that me

I am strong now
Or
At least
I am trying to be

Instead of harm
I build
Break and build
That causes strength

I will be strong
Fight on
Push through
Lets see what two more months can do

It's a long game
Pretending I don't care
Focusing on other people
Because I can't have you

But now
It's almost over
I'm in the final stretch
And it's phase two

I'm learning
Getting to know you
As much as you will allow
That's all I can do for now

I'm done with you
With the pain you cause
If you choose to leave
It will be no loss

I have grown
I am a person
All of my own
You aren't the place I call home

Maybe dad is right
Toxicity
It seems to be my enemy
And on a scale of healthy
I am not sure
Where this would be

You hurt me
But its okay
You're my best friend
The person I care about
More than anyone
That matters right?

I just want
For you
To be happy
And not hateful
Yet you insist
On being a ****

I don't know where my home is
I have no comfort zone
I don't know who I am
Where I am

How is it possible to be so lost
Like a ship being tossed
On a rough sea
In a dangerous storm

It drips down my arms
Faster
Then slowly congealing
Coagulating
Stopping it's once rapid descent
The blood pools then dries
Sticky on my skin

You saved me yet again
Your promise
The one I made
It keeps me tied
You are my anchor
My thought
My all

I would spill my blood
To the last drop
To hold your tears
And to keep them from falling
I feel alone
But I know you won't leave me
You are my peace and serenity

I wanted to keep you
Some piece
Something
That was only mine
So I fused your marks with my flesh
Spilling my blood onto the sheets
Maybe this will dull something
Aching and burning
Inside of me
I only hurt
There is nothing else
I'm not good enough
To even help myself
You want to feel so go to her
I guess that makes me feel too
Like a dying ember with it's path gone askew
You are my everything
The sun behind a cloud when it's raining
The words on a page in the book that is all
Every light that guides me
And every shadow in which I fall
You were all I wanted
But I'm not good enough
I'm not enough
Not anything
Just a shattered piece of glass
Drawing my own blood