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His Gweniverre Jul 2015
What can I say?
I am floating in a cove of pain,
Of forgotten memories and lost quotes,
The silent sobbing no one hears.
Alone in my bed, I am silent.
No one hears the way I weep,
For me, for all of them.
I can no longer remember,
The way laughter truly feels.
I miss laughing until I cried.
Now I just start crying and keep crying.
My face can hold a smile for hours,
Just waiting until its safe to remove it.

What do I do?
I am drifting away from everything, everyone.
I am shutting off my heart,
Closing down my head.
Letting myself fall into the void,
That is easier than feeling.

What could I do?
The numbness keeps me alive.
The feelings would **** me.
Loss,
Misery,
Loneliness,
Suffering,
Regret,
Chaos,
Destructi­on,
That is all I have.
The numbness takes it away.
Silents the swirl of anxiety.

What do I say?
When asked why I never called,
Never texted,
Never replied.
My mind is complacent.
My phone unimportant,
My life irrelevant.
My soul withered.
His Gweniverre Jul 2015
You have become faded music,
Lost at the end of a memory.
You are an echo of joy,
Yet you bring a storm of grief on my heart.
You were my brother, my friend.
You gave me peace,
And even saved my life once upon a time.
But no longer.
We are shattered,
Destroyed beyond repair.
I no longer have time for regrets.
Like you, I am moving on.
I am creating a melody all my own,
Unstained by your hand.
The choices you made have caused pain.
They have desecrated my heart,
But I will heal and breathe again.
I will cleanse you from my mind.
I will erase you from my memory.
But every now and then,
I'll think back and hear it,
The faded music that reminds me,
Of you.
You didn't say, "Come here and stop being so scornful, you stubborn little woman."

So I didn't say, "Why should I?"

And You didn't say, "Because I love you."

And I didn't put aside my fears and doubts to bury myself in your arms and say, "I know."

And You never held me while I cried happy tears of relief as I added, "I love you too."
His Gweniverre Jul 2015
Lightning and water,
That's what we are.
So attracted to each other,
But together we ****.
Our dreams, our future,
We **** the hour we once had.
A little bit of ******
With every kiss.
With every shared night,
Genocide erupts.
Is it fair for us to be happy
While it kills everyone
And everything we touch?
His Gweniverre Jul 2015
Each day a new plan to make it my last,
But I keep waking up.
Every sun rise finds me withering in despair.
Why isn't it over?
When will this torment end?
I do not belong here,
On this earth,
In this time period.
A mistake was made.
Let my soul return,
To be recycled,
To a better time,
In a better place.
A time where I can be myself without judgement,
A place where I can learn to thrive.
It is not suicide I dream of ,
But a rebirth.
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