Blinded out!
Cannot see!
All colors wiped away from me.
I remember yellow, the love of the sun,
I remember red,love and blood.
Blinded out,blinded out!
Fear hidden away by doubt.
Blinded out,blinded out,
Cannot feel,cannot pout.
A key to sight is what I'm without.
Blinded out,blinded out!
Stole my eyes,stole my light,
I still reach for dreams lost in night.
Blinded out,blinded out!
Forgotten what I look like.
That is good,I can reform.
Sometimes blindness isn't bad anymore.
Blinded out,blinded out!
A heart of pain,
But a soul that sustains every inch of joy left to remain.
Blinded out,blinded out!
Cannot see black,cannot see white.
Only colors of dreams I had,
Though made up colors don't feel right.
Blinded out,blinded out!
Cannot see but I shall sing.
I am superior, my voice shall ring!
Rise and fall with a pleasant ding!
Blinded out,blinded out!
Steal my faith but not my pride!
I am stronger then night's endless tide!
Blinded out,blinded out!
I can still dance,I can still leap!
I can still walk, pick up my feet!
To think you can discourge such mighty pride!
I'll beat you down with unseeing eyes!
Blinded out,blinded out!
Was this a test?
I did my best!
Give me my sight back,savor the rest!
Blinded out, blinded out!
Sight is nothing to my locked away fear,
So be gone with it,come back another year!
I am stronger than that!
I am more stealth than a cat!
So if I truly wanted to see,
Id already have it back!
Offer it,I shall take it.
Burn it,my life shall make it.
I don't need colors,just the ones in my dreams
My hope is hard along side me!
Blinded out,blinded out!
I shall wear shades until the sky is blue,
But right now it's yellow,shining and true.
Blinded out,blinded out,
Sight is a form of a blessing.
I am blessed to be as such,and not be normal.

Dead.
always dead.
dead with no feeling,numb.
the only thing to feel was my never healing heart,***.sigh,***.
Dead.
dead from the start.
dead with dreams torn apart.
dead from the first day.
couldnt have been another way.
dead,nothing to say.
died,drowning in a bay.
a bay of dismay.
swallowed me hole.
i am dead,i still feel my sorrows.
dead. to the core
dead and sore
dead,no more!no more!
i dont want to suffer anymore.
its a total bore.
dead.
dead with no denial.
dead but alive,my life took a dive,
the day my heart grew deceased.
alive but dead,dead in the heart.
dead in the dark.
dead with the shadow's evil barks.
dead with a poisoned part of my unlucky heart.
dead and alive.
half alive.
forever.

I,
Am scared,
Of the car in my own lane.
I am scared,
that the driver is not sain.
I feel weak,that I use the car,
Not my feet.
I feel weak,because I keep crashing in my sleep.
I,
Am worried
About the driver in the other seat.
The driver,
Is drunk on his goals and let down dreams.
I,
am worried,
About the car in my lane.
It's wheels are moving backwards,
Left,right,and all different kinds of sideways.
I,
Am hoping,
I can get out and run away.
I don't need to crash into a driver,
With drunk dreams,
Sliding on my lane.
I,
Am hoping,
That fear won't leave me frozen.
That I can bang on the doors of this hell on wheels,
And still remain standing.
I,
Am staring,
As the car crashes through,
Breaking my windows,
And my face too.
I,
am staring,
As the driver walks away.
Stumbling on drunk dreams,
Has nothing to really say.
I,
Am confused,
Who is this driver?
I,
Am confused,
The driver is basically me,
Floating on drunk dreams.

Face it
You can't be happy all the time
Wear a fake smile and pretend you're fine
When you don't even know if you'll survive the night.
Face it
You think you're all alone
Even though you have people
To help you walk the road.
Face it
You don't know who you are
Changing your 're style to find a soul in heart
Instead of this emptiness that's taking part.
Face it
You can't just pretend you want the night to end
When actually you want more minutes to spend.
Face it
You dread the day
Trudging the world half awake.
Face it
You hate yourself
Because you're the problem in your life of stress
Try to throw weight on yourself
So you can fit in like everyone else.
Face it
You're the
Shell of a small snail
That left on its slow Decent
To get away from you without bail?
Face it
You don't wanna be around
Still waitin on a piece
Of your lost heart
In the lost and found.
Face it
You find comfort in misery
Because that's the only thing you  allow
Yourself to feel in this death trap.

Down to dirt
Down to hell
where does it end up?
you'll never tell.
falling,falling.
None's gone well.
falling,everything is falling.
To delicate to pick up,to fragile to drop.
falling,falling.
forever an eternity,

Girl, you're everything I'll never be,
The rising sun, the salty sea,
The gritty sand among the beach.
You're everything I'll never be,
Every hope and broken dream,
Every cheerful memory,
A wife, an author, a mother of 3,
Yeah, You're everything that I'll never see, My unsung tune that's out of key,
And you're also
Everything I'll never have.

(this is basically talking about the character in the book im writing.
Love ya beef pugs)

Sitting on the beach,
The skies cold and gray,
A girl sings a song all ears can hear,
Strumming a guitar so close and dear.
Standing in a room of nails and cracked stones,
This girl waits ******* and alone,
The guitar she longs to run to.
Head hunched over a table,
Knots all in her hair,
The guitar girl works while peers just stare.
In a house so huge that trees touch the roof and
branches swish and sway,
The girl stands proud with her farther screaming loud
And her brother running away.
On this beach so cold and gray,
She plays music and melts away,
Sings the notes so sweet and true,
Her only way to fight life through.
On a tree so far and wide,
Holding hands with her only guide,
Watching the beach's moving tides,
Holding all her pain in so she won't cry.
Guitar girl winces at her name,
And no one knows why,
She protects her brother all the time,
No expression In her eyes.
Escape the world she always tries,
But you can only run so LONG without stopping.
At this beach she sits alone,the only place she calls home.
Singing songs so deep and true,
Playing a moving and loving tune
With the guitar her dead mother gave her.

I miss the misery,
Now its all empty
I want the pain to forgive me
And the numbness to forget me.

I miss the irony
Now its all dread
I had sunlight in mind
Now there's darkness in my head.

I miss the sorrow
Waking up to love tomorrow-
Seeing the sunshine shining dull light through my window.
I miss the anger
The cautions and the dangers
My life is like a thrown around wager-
Like a victim with no angel.

I miss the bright side-
Now dark night,
Suffocating in a blanket of black hide.
I used to have pride.
There is no pride.

I miss the jealousy,
The nervousness,
The grief,
I wish it could all just walk back to me.

I miss the misery
Now its all empty
I wish my feelings would forgive me,
And the numbness would forget me.

I am hungry.
Hungry for affection,
Hungry for attention,
Hungry for love behind the mind's comprehension.
I thirst for accomplishment and pride,but I'm in drought,
Like California.
I am sleepless,restless,its always on my mind. I can't stop being hungry,
I'll starve until I die.
They think my life is easy,WRONG!I am hungry,hungry to be understood.
I will probably die among the starving,die of my hunger.

Don't give me greive I never had
Don't give me joy I don't need
I'd like to earn it all myself,if your soul doesn't mind.
Don't give me light to brighten my way,
Don't give me shadows to darken my day
Don't give me stars to shine so far,
Don't give me flowers that smell so sweet,
I'd like to do it all,
If your soul doesn't mind.
Don't give me your love if I don't deserve it,
Don't give me your hate if my pride didnt earn it,
Don't give my leaves to pick up and rules to set down,
I'd like my own free will,
If your soul doesn't mind.
If your soul doesn't mind,I'd like to be free,
Not trapped in cages with people like me.
I'd like to be a bird,don't give me your wings,
I'll gain them on my own,if your soul doesn't mind.

I'm in love with you,
but you can't love me.
I'm a dog, you're a cat; I'm the sky,
you're the sea. I'm a bat while you're a bird, I'm the leaves and you're a tree;
Incompatible, you and I,
but I'd love to have a try if you don't
mind, if your heart is still breathing,
clinging for a change!

So, take my hand...paw or claw, feathers too, even though I'm an animal, I want to be with you!
Come on! Let's give "us" a try,
Change the pace of the tides,
the stormy seas of you and I;
this messy weather, mostly that I've caused, I know that I'm not human,

But I also have FLAWS!

Let's give us a try, you and I,
if you don't mind, if your soul would be so kind.

I'm a boat, you're a raft,
I'm a calculator and you're the math,
but we can put that behind us, can't we? I'm me,
You're you,
There's nothing we can do!


I'd like to be together dear,
An incompatible you and an incompatible I,
You know two negatives make a positive.
It's science, it's logic, we'll be fine!

Give us a try, give me a try!
Yes, I know I'm not a human,
But I can love just the same,
And I love you more- will always love you more, more than you ever will,
because you'll never feel the same.

After all.... To your kind I'm just game.

Hey guys!
I know you don't really care but today's my birthday!!!
I'm 13 now,not 12.
Thank you guys,it's been a good year,I couldn't have made it with oh you guys.
:-D  thanks a Millon!
The freakin 13 year old,
-Evie Camille Wills

This could be my last sunny sky,
No light through the window dancing on by.
This could be the last day I have to shine,
feel that freedom can all be mine.
This could be my last day outside,
No more cages and bars.
This this could be the last joy tear I cry.
This last day happiness is mine.
This could be the last sunny day,
Cloud cover moon,
Goodbye Mr.Sun,never see you soon.
This could be my last sunny day,
No more freedom,locked in chains.
And when tomorrow comes,
Forever may I still be happy.
Foggy grumpy clouds blocking the sun's veiw.
Everyone needs foggy clouds,stars with no lights.
That's why in this new tomorrow,
I'll charise every single night.
This could be my last sunny day,
Truly now I don't mind,
I'll be placed we with the clouds,
Happy to be alive.
If it rains I shall dance,
If it hails,I catch the hail,
If there's starless skies I'll make them,
Slumber in my mind.
Today could be my last sunny day,
but I truly do not mind.
Might as well close the window early,
say Mr.Sun Goodbye

His beautiful face,
Orange and pink,
His self esteem will never shrink.
He loves America,
He likes Canada…kinda
Doesn't doesn't talk about Russia,
But he hates China.
Be careful of him,
He'll **** us all,
If you ask about immigration
“WE NEED TO BUILD A WALL!”
Loves to shout, always hollers,
Only way to shut him up is a small loan of a million dollars.
Thinks he's charming,he loves himself,
If he was a trophy,he’d be all over his shelf.
Has a crooked smile,
sounds like a yeti,
Just look at his hair,looks like spaghetti!
Running for president,we need sheer luck,
Because we dont know what will come out of Mr.Ugly Duck.

I don't believe in me anymore.
Things have faded, emotions have died
Loneliness brought to me day and night.
I don't believe in love anymore,
Love just isn't for me;
And if I can't love myself first then
I should just let it be.

Pathetic
Anger and
Irony
Never Noticed,
Floods of tears
Under rivers of
Loneliness,
Longing for
You to drown while

Losing everything
Optimistic and
Suffering through the
Tragedies

(sorry, but not sorry)

There once was a potato plant,
(Because potatoes grow on plants...)
This plant harvested baby potatoes.
This was no ordinary potato plant, however,
It was SPECIAL!

Anywho, the plant grew several baby potatoes,
Who were harvested and shipped on a crate to a grocery store
in a cold, dark shipping truck.
The potatoes, they weren't scared! Yah know why? Simple.
Because Potatoes don't have FEELINGS!

....but if they did....they'd be scared. Take my word for it.

The potatoes arrived at the store and were bagged, ready for purchase. They sat together in a pile for hours,
thinking about (but not thinking about) what would happen in the future, why they were in this bag, UNTIL, UNTIL a homeless man (he looked homeless) reached into the bag, pulled out a single spud, and RAN! Out the store, down the street,
HE WAS OUTTA THERE! BYE-BYE SUCKERS!

Well, on his way to.... wherever he was going, he fell and dropped it. That's what stealing does to yah.
It rolled into an abandoned alley, far away from the man's sight. He couldn't stop and look for it, because he was being chased, so he ran away sourly, the potato being left cold and alone, without it's family to be piled up motionlessly beside it.

This potato was different. Unlike it's family, it could feel,
it could think and understand, even without knowing language at all, it's like the potato just knew everything and anything, without a purpose. And, another thing.
This potato, it was hungry. Very hungry.

Only hours later (again)
A parentless child walked the streets, searching for something to eat. They hadn't eaten in days. Of course, the child found the battered potato on the ground,picked it up and smiled.
It was the end of the potatoes life cycle, it seemed.
Or...was it? Seconds until the end, seconds until facing the terrifying wrath of the human's sharp, untaimed teeth, seconds until it got to see if there was a potato heaven or not, JUST SECONDS, something changed.

The spud; it grew. No, it didn't grow in size, but it did grow a mouth, and arms. And it could scream. Oh God, yes, it could wail like no tomorrow, so, quickly adapting to it's new form; it yelled ****** ******. The child threw it at a wall, screaming and running away.

..... Silence from the potato.
Sadly, it could withstand the grasp of a sweaty, homeless dude,
it could bare the growing silence from it's siblings,
it could even dodge the teeth of a starving ape!

But the potato was no match for a wall.
Mashed potatoes for dinner it is.

Read my heart,
See through my soul,
Every piece of me,
My sorrow, my goals.
Read my heart,
Never a word to be unread,
Never a page out a place,
Stay up to read it in bed.
Read my heart carefully,
never in haste,
Read my heart,
hug my soul,
Wipe away the tears I cry,
Attention,
the only thing to keep me alive!
Read my heart,
Or rewrite the story!
Don't make it plain,
I hate boring stories.
Read my heart,
Or throw it away,
The book in the garage,
Like a disgusting lunch tray.
Read my heart,
Flip every page…
Unless you read online…
Then there's nothing to say.

Red rain for we are standing,outlaws of the world.
Frozen stiff in the bitter cold created by man,
Forever gloomy in heavy fog we stand.
We are soaking in red rain,drowning our souls,
While the others are dancing through sun.
Red rain we are breathing,air polluted,sky full of clouds.
While others are cheering,not a single raindrop found.
Red rain for we're dying,Hand in hand we fall,the others do not notice,
They're busy playing ball.
Red rain for we're standing,rotting away,
covered in a heavy fog forever everyday.
Sunshine for the others,freedom and joy,
But red rain we're standing,vaccumed of joy.
Our reflections we are scared of,the others,love them too much.
Cowards in the red rain we are called as such.
Let us have jackets,peace we long to Rome.
Let us walk tords sunshine,forever every step.
Red red for we are tired of,hopelessness no help.
Red rain we are blinded through!
Not a speck of light to see,the sun goers are free,
sight they wouldn't need.
Red rain we feel trapped in!
Though there's way tords the bright.
Picking up heavy feet,getting up when feeling weak,
Blinded,but sun in seek.
Red rain we want to run from,
Feet never able to thaw,
Untill light shines over red rain,
In some thousands years,
When We're gone,
Most of us.

So today I wrote a rant in math class.  I had a lot on my mind and I needed to write about it.
I showed one of my friends and he almost cried.  He said it was realatable.
So here it is I guess.  Tell me what you think.

Yah know when you need to write something but you don't have any paper?
Or when you want to text but your phone is dead and you don't have a charger?
Or when you want to talk but can't speak?
You'd just buy more paper and a charger right?
What if theoretically, you have no money and you can't get any
because there are no people around to give you any?
Then you can't buy anything period.
Then there's no point in talking and communicating.
After that,
after you realize you can no longer communicate,
You block yourself in.
You walk the world alone because you know you are alone.
You feel like nobody cares because there's nobody around to cafe.
Then you stop caring.
You stop caring if there's a tomorrow
because there won't be anyone to spend it with,
That if the world were to end today you wouldn't care.
You'd become silent,
you'd be silent,
you'd live silence.
Even if there were people and you couldn't communicate
You'd still be alone,
because they'd lose interest in you.
You'd still be alone and feel like no one cares.
In a wild free roaming world you'd be the caged one.
You'd also stop caring about tomorrow
Because you can't talk to anyone and they don't talk to you.
What if you could talk but still feel like that?
Feel no one cares because you're you?
Feeling powerless in a world where you don't think you matter?
You'd always be alone,
even if you have the power to speak,
Youd know that'd you be alone because no one would like your opinion.
You'd always be silent because
you're scared to be you in a world that doesn't want you to be you.
You'd grow tired of being an empty shell.
You would get angry that no one feels you matter,
But deep down even you don't feel like you matter!
You still wouldn't care,
like you're reaching out to something non existing.
If you can't express you're opinions then why would you matter?
If you're scared to be you because of others then why should you matter?
Why should someone care about you when you don't care about anything?
You go silent because you worry too much about what others want,
Not what you want.
You fall silent in the world you locked yourself in.
Why suffer in silence when you can rise in noise?
What's the point of being you when you just want to be someone else?
There is no point then if you truly 100 percent feel like that,
If you don't Atleast try to be you and have an opinion then there is no hope.
You'd just be a silent unsung song in the distance of no ones mind.

Take my heart,lock it away
All I need is my soul to live
Take my hope and my pride wont give.
Take my heart,burn it down
Just a figure of a dream,dying to drown.
Take my heart,it won't phase me,
Take my soul,it will forever change me.
Take my heart,drive it away,
I never needed love anyways.
Take my heart,I'm still me,
But take my soul,might as well cage me,
To be fed to the dogs.
Take my heart if that's all you need.
It won't be painful, just easier to breathe.
Take my heart,burn it to ashes,
Take my soul,sparks just slide past it.
Take my heart,
With a sigh and a bump,
Take my soul with a scream and a roar,
only devil's to uprise with soul no more.
Take my heart,I do not need,
you stole it anyways,I have no greed.
Take my heart,stab it to tears,
Take my soul,angels' worst fears.
Take my heart if you need it that bad,
But my soul you cannot, and for that,I'm glad.
Take my heart,crush it down,
For a soul you don't have,I may not give you that.
Take my heart,suffer through my pain
Dance with my joy as I dance with the rain.
Take my heart,steal it away.
Take my soul,never a way.

This was written by a friend if mine on poetfreak,but unfortunately the website has been shutdown. :-|

PART ONE:
She sat in the back,
Her head in a book
Oblivious to us,
and our curious looks.
She wore dark blue headphones
plugged into her phone
elbows propped on the desk
that wasn't her own.
Her hair was bright purple
it was really a sight
I had never seen hair,
so purple or bright.
The room filled with whispers
'till the teacher walked in.
We all quickly went silent,
waited for class to begin.
He talked about integers
but I didn't care.
For my only focus,
was on her, and her hair.

PART TWO:
Class soon finished,
with the sound of the bell.
We all got up to leave,
she got up as well.
She grabbed her bag,
and marked a page in her book
then she left the classroom,
without another look.
I could see her in the hall
of course she stood out.
there weren't too many kids,
with purple hair about.
But then she was gone,
she'd walked through a door.
and I was left staring
at where she'd stood just before.
I wanted to follow her,
but I didn't dare.
I'd grown far too curious
of that girl and her hair.

PART THREE:
School became exciting
it was never a bore
for now there was a girl
who wasn't there before.
I woke every morning
desperate for a look
at that purple haired girl,
reading one of her books.
I almost talked to her once,
but my courage soon passed
so I settled for seeing her
in Mr. Loo's class.
Where every now and then,
I could get in a quick stare
at that beautiful girl
and her beautiful hair.

PART FOUR:
We talked about her,
my friends and me.
About the purple haired girl
and who she might be.
She was a mystery to us,
turned our grade upside down.
And yet I was happy
the girl was around.
Soon it all went back to normal
and they all no longer cared
about that mysterious girl
and her mysterious hair.

PART FIVE:
November flew by,
then winter break came.
and still I didn't even
know that girl's name.
But I knew her face,
and I knew green eyes.
I knew there was a real girl,
behind that purple disguise.
I knew all her classes.
I knew she walked home.
I knew she didn't talk to anyone,
she was always alone.
I knew she was pretty,
in a purple-haired way.
And I knew she was always
the best part of my day.
And above all I knew,
I could no longer just look
at the purple-haired girl
as she looked at some book.
So that first day back,
I got out of my chair
and walked up to the girl,
with the bright purple hair.

To be human

I think it's bad,
To be human,
A peanut in a shell,
Destroying our own society,
Then landing straight in hell.
I think is bad,
To be a human I mean,
Not taking every life as a charm,
Cutting down all the trees
Until there's not even one.
It's shameful,
To be human I mean,
Locked inside a cage,
Forced to vote and ride life's boat
Then die of cancer or old age.
It's misfortune,to be human,
In a sand trap of our oan greed,
Not even thinking about what it takes to make a penny,
A fishing rod,or a simple shirt sleeve.
I think it's pointless,
To be human,when we can be so much more,
Instead if tearing down our hell hole and
"weathering" it's floor.
It's like a prison,to be human,
Locked in the golden cage,
Only let out when you've done your job,
Destroy the world to its old age.
I think,its sad,to be human,
Having the emotions nothing else can feel.
And then trying to communicate to ones that won't understand.
I think,it *******,to be human.
I'd rather be a deer.

You're doing your best
To make my life a hell of a mess.
Personal maid I  never hired.
You dont need breaks, your weak bones don't get tired.
You put more dirt on every floor,
Spit on dishes,mop away my hidden wishes.
Throw out pages of all I am,every shred out the door,
Into the wind and out into night,Goodbye pages,forever out of sight.
You try so hard to make my life hell,
You're doing your worst,I can tell.
You're the personal guard I never hired
Never had a chance to say your fired.
You pull me away from fights,just to start them.
You don't love my needs,you depart them.
You don't end all things bad,
Just start all things worse.
Why such a person did I deserve?
A person with lies that holds no words!
Try as you might to tear my spirit down,
I'll always wear a smile,you'll always wear a frown.
Try as you might to burn my house down,
A Millon torches can't set a spark to a mansion below the ground.
Try as you might,pull me out of light, take my sight,
I'll still have everything you stole,this praise I carry you shall never know.
So drop my dishes!
It'll give me a chance to sweep away the dirt.

I am not the sound of my voice
The voice of my head
The ears that I hear from
My eyes that are dead.
No I am not the air that I breathe,
The pain that I see,
The joy that I need.
I am not the one that I hate
The one that I love,
No im not perfect or good enough,
I'm just on the edge of falling through the walls!
No!  I am not THAT bad but I am not THAT good either,
Im just a rotten, greedy, die hard believer,
That in the end no ones an achiever!

I gave you what you needed,
To set the sparks we breathed,
But that was never enough for you,
When it was enough for me.
We used to flame the ground,
Dirt now liked in ash,
We started the biggest wildfire,
but the flames could never last.
Yeah,we made a wildfire,smoke lit the sky,
But it all cleared up,when you left my life.
Now you're gone,the fires died down,
And im ashes in the rubble of remains.
I nolonger smell the lovely scent of the smoke you created,
Barbeque cookout in the middle of July,
Now all I smell is gasoline from your decent to flee away,
Without a goodbye or any say.
I nolonger feel the heat of your skin that'd keep me warm at night,
It's all dark and cold and scary,dont have your fire as a light.
I don't have the confidence I used to have,
you set the flame and burned it out,
Wonder if livin without cha is worth it.
My sky is clear for me while it's smoke for someone else,
?eft my prairie of daises and roses for a forest of trees and elk.
I have no more flames with me,theyre for another land,
But I wish you could disclaim it,come back,
Give me a chance.
Yeah,we used to make wildfires,
And smoke would light the sky,
And even though the fires gone,m
My love for you still burns on,
And my sparks seen by every eye.