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Hannah Field Sep 2018
A glint had caught a baggy eye
To spark a thought to jump the fence
Could I grasp the handle- was I shy
Of what I had to do and hence remain
Enshrined in overwhelming strife
Hannah Field Nov 2018
We're suicidal kids telling other suicidal kids suicide is not the answer.
Hannah Field Nov 2018
Roses are red
Violets are blue
****, I don't know how to continue bye
Hannah Field Apr 2019
Living with mental illness makes almost every single day a battle. Will we wake up and handle our stress or will our brains completely derail and make us want to give up? Will today be a good day or will we fall closer to rock bottom again?

We KNOW we have everything to live for (kids, family, friends, great jobs, etc.) and we ARE grateful for those amazing fortunes...but something always haunts us. We are always fighting to stay on top and to control how our emotions flow out. There is always a fear, however small and maybe even subconscious, that today could be the day that breaks us or that we fall back down from however far we've climbed. Its a constant, conscious effort to survive, let alone thrive. Some days are easier than others. Treatment and/or therapy helps, but we're never "cured". The demon can be tamed but never exorcised. This is us.

We are mothers, fathers, friends, coworkers, siblings, sons, daughters. We smile through pain. We cling to the smallest hopes and continue to climb.

So show some compassion. Give hugs and high fives when you're having a good day. Check on your friends who may be slipping. Help them up. Show them you care, don't just tell them. You could be the light in someone's darkness that brings them back to life. #Depression #Anxiety #Suicide #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Sitting all alone with a broken heart
broken hopes broken spirits
everything is broken
why did you ruin everything?
what did I do wrong
I wanted to give my love
But all I did was lose my best- friend
and everything I love
Hannah Field Mar 2019
I loved her...
Her hair
Her eyes
Her body
Everything
She was special
She was unique
I wanted to tell her
But she was one of my best friends
I told Erin and chloe and everyone else
I hope she reads this I hope she knows
That I love her very dearly
Hannah Field Sep 2018
My silence is just another word for my pain
Hannah Field Sep 2018
Why did you try to **** yourself...
You told me to be happy...
Hannah Field Sep 2018
It's Sad
Knowing That
I Love Others
More Than
I Love Myself
I Hate To See Others
In Pain
But When It
Comes To
Me
"I'm Fine'
Hannah Field Oct 2018
I loved her
but then she cut to deep
And then she was fighting for her life
She lost
Now i don't wanna be with anyone else
Only her,
so i just plan one more week
Then we'll be together forever
Me and my love
How stupid she was
I don't want to go so early
But she is my life
I miss you baby
Hannah Field Sep 2018
Is it better to be hated
For what you are
Than to be loved
For what you are not
Hannah Field Sep 2018
Just because my eyes don't tear
Doesn't mean my heart doesn't cry
And just because I come off strong
Doesn't mean there's nothing wrong
Hannah Field Dec 2018
There's Hell in Hello
Good in Goodbye
Lie in Believe
Over in Lover
End in Friend
Ex in Next
If in Life
Hannah Field Nov 2018
Roses were red
Violets were blue
But now all flowers are dead and soon I will be too.
Hannah Field Sep 2018
There's only 1 thing
2 do
3 words
4 you
I love you
Hannah Field Oct 2018
My heart has quit beating...
I have nothing else to share
Hannah Field Feb 2019
Dear whoever reads this,

There is nothing for me here.I don’t want to go on. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Please believe me. I love you all so very much. And I don’t want to hurt you anymore.

Everyone say that you are meant to feel safe whenever you go to school. I don’t I have to work into expecting to get bullied and get **** written on the wall about me. I feel like no one loves me not even my own family. Death doesn’t even want me and that’s saying something.

I wish it was just as easy as saying One, Two, Three and I’d be gone.

I made so many memories with my friends and my family.
But this period of time has just been so ****. My family has started to fight more and has started to hate me more. As I sit in class wondering what I’m going to do at recess. Oh no that’s right I have to hide in a ******* bathroom to eat my food because I’m afraid what people are going to think about me.  

It *****… It really does… I’ve put my family through a lot… Maybe that’s why they hate me because I’m a fat, ugly, waste of space that no one wants.

I hate being judged I hate not having clothes that fit me and having to wear the same clothes for at least 2 weeks straight. I’m always going to school and getting letters home saying you owe the school more than $800. Dad says he is going to sort it out he’ll find the money but he never will. I’ve had all these thoughts pile up in my head now that I can’t even think anymore… I want it to stop.
I need it to stop cutting myself everyday is not just enough I need to go deep or hang myself or I could try overdosing again. Whatever I decide I know it’s for the best… I’ll miss you guys so much…Things just seemed to go too wrong too many times

Goodbye,
Hannah Field

Dear Dad,
I’m sorry I continue to disappoint you, I’m sorry I’ve changed. I wish we could rewind. I love you death and I will still love you after. But I just couldn’t do it anymore. Everyday became harder and harder(hey at least there will be two positives to my death your smokes will still always be there and you don’t have to put up with me always getting suspended and fighting you) I know you can’t understand and I don’t expect you to. And I don’t know what else to tell you expect I really am sorry but I know you won’t believe me. I’m sorry…
I love you all so very much and I'll miss you guys
Hannah Field Nov 2018
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I really like garlic bread
I don't know how to rhyme
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Skin
so perfect
smooth and soft
canceling the pain within
suddenly the knife cuts deep
trying to cut away the suffering
that's hiding underneath a smile
a blood red waterfall
ending a life
whispering goodbye
forever
Hannah Field Mar 2019
I saw the pain in her eyes
she was hurt and broken
no one cared did they
They snickered
They judged
They talked
They bashed
Until that one day
That one day
After 4 years of abuse
She was found dead
Hung
She had killed herself






( Comment if this has happened to someone you know or you?
Hannah Field Nov 2018
If wild my breast
I bask in dreams in suicide
If cool my heart and high my head
I think how lucky are the dead
Hannah Field Oct 2018
They say follow your heart... But what happens if your heart is in a million pieces what piece do you follow
Hannah Field Feb 2019
Maybe in the world of Emojis
They laugh at their ignorance
Every time we send smiley faces
with sad intentions
We no longer laugh like humans
we just imagine laughter
Hannah Field Sep 2018
My day is
Ash grey
The night is
to long
These words are all wrong
There's nothing right to say
As I lay down to rest
No dreams come it's for the best...
Daylight comes, boredom to
Why'd I bother to give up to soon?
Could this be a better day

- Hannah
Hannah Field Sep 2018
She falls down to her knees
So no one can help her up
Because she thinks she is not worth saving
Hannah Field Apr 2019
My depression get the best of me
Long nights I don’t rest or sleep
Jaw tight as I compress my teeth
Digest the devil pressin me
Repress the stress that rest in me
Death don’t ever pester me
Life brings on all the pressure see
I can’t even measure the little pleasures
why can’t I just Rest In Peace
I strive to never take my life
Hear voices from a gun and knife
Fake light for when my dark nights strike
But **** the light, give me a ladder
I’d rather fight and climb back to the surface
Search through all my pain for purpose
Learn to deal with the hurt and worthless
Help others in similar circumstances
Gives them chances in advance
To never glance on suicidal’s dance
#f ;ghter
Hannah Field Dec 2018
I have nobody except you
But sometimes you just made me feel like
I'm just another girl
That kiss and tell
But ****
I need to talk to someone
Can't you see
That I have nobody
That I'm lonely
That I only accompanied
By my own thoughts
And sometimes
There Trying To **** You
Hannah Field Sep 2018
I AM ME
and I
won't change 4 you
Hannah Field Oct 2018
I feel like everyone hates me. But it's okay I hate myself to
Hannah Field Sep 2018
I want to die but no one will let me. Please let me go
Hannah Field Sep 2018
I went to sleep
blood on the floor
of my life
there's nothing more
Hannah Field Oct 2018
A broken mirror
A bleeding fist
A sliver blade against my wrist
Tears falling down on lips UnKissed
Ignore her and she won't exist
She's not the kind you will come to miss
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Doctor: She is dead
School:The fat one? Oh yeah she deserved it
Boyfriend: I didn't even like her
Friend: At least I don't have to pretend I like her anymore
Counselor: I had to many clients I have to deal with.
She made my job easier
Hannah Field Oct 2018
When I'm gone what will you do
Who will write and draw for you?
Someone smarter- Someone new
Someone Better- Maybe YOU!!!

— The End —