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Hannah Field Sep 2018
The monsters my parents warned me about when I was younger weren't under my bed or in my closet but in my head
Hannah Field Sep 2018
My silence is just another word for my pain
Hannah Field Feb 2019
Dear whoever reads this,

There is nothing for me here.I don’t want to go on. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Please believe me. I love you all so very much. And I don’t want to hurt you anymore.

Everyone say that you are meant to feel safe whenever you go to school. I don’t I have to work into expecting to get bullied and get **** written on the wall about me. I feel like no one loves me not even my own family. Death doesn’t even want me and that’s saying something.

I wish it was just as easy as saying One, Two, Three and I’d be gone.

I made so many memories with my friends and my family.
But this period of time has just been so ****. My family has started to fight more and has started to hate me more. As I sit in class wondering what I’m going to do at recess. Oh no that’s right I have to hide in a ******* bathroom to eat my food because I’m afraid what people are going to think about me.  

It *****… It really does… I’ve put my family through a lot… Maybe that’s why they hate me because I’m a fat, ugly, waste of space that no one wants.

I hate being judged I hate not having clothes that fit me and having to wear the same clothes for at least 2 weeks straight. I’m always going to school and getting letters home saying you owe the school more than $800. Dad says he is going to sort it out he’ll find the money but he never will. I’ve had all these thoughts pile up in my head now that I can’t even think anymore… I want it to stop.
I need it to stop cutting myself everyday is not just enough I need to go deep or hang myself or I could try overdosing again. Whatever I decide I know it’s for the best… I’ll miss you guys so much…Things just seemed to go too wrong too many times

Goodbye,
Hannah Field

Dear Dad,
I’m sorry I continue to disappoint you, I’m sorry I’ve changed. I wish we could rewind. I love you death and I will still love you after. But I just couldn’t do it anymore. Everyday became harder and harder(hey at least there will be two positives to my death your smokes will still always be there and you don’t have to put up with me always getting suspended and fighting you) I know you can’t understand and I don’t expect you to. And I don’t know what else to tell you expect I really am sorry but I know you won’t believe me. I’m sorry…
I love you all so very much and I'll miss you guys
Hannah Field Sep 2018
Roses are red, Violets are blue
sugar is sweet and prehaps so are you
But the roses are wilted and the violets are dead
The sugar bowls empty your wrists are stained red
The sun isn't shining, the sky isn't clear
there's no sliver lining cause your no longer here
Rain keeps on pouring, theres no end in sight
you're laying there frozen, so far from light
Your beautys unreal, your smile the sun
but time can't be turned nor your actions undone
Hannah Field Sep 2018
She falls down to her knees
So no one can help her up
Because she thinks she is not worth saving
Hannah Field Sep 2018
Suicide doesn't take away the pain it gives it to someone else
Hannah Field Feb 2019
Maybe in the world of Emojis
They laugh at their ignorance
Every time we send smiley faces
with sad intentions
We no longer laugh like humans
we just imagine laughter
Hannah Field Dec 2018
I think of my best friend and know that she is the person who will be there for me, even when I can't be here for myself who will CHEER me to my greatest heights and who will console me when I've fallen down. She will STAND UP for me and LIE DOWN beside me. She will FORGIVE me when I've hurt her and will occasionally, even bite her tongue when she could have easily said " I TOLD YOU SO"
Thank's Chloe Brazel, Erin Johnson, Jacinta Alt and Saffy Lafsky
Hannah Field Sep 2018
It's Sad
Knowing That
I Love Others
More Than
I Love Myself
I Hate To See Others
In Pain
But When It
Comes To
Me
"I'm Fine'
Hannah Field Sep 2018
Just because my eyes don't tear
Doesn't mean my heart doesn't cry
And just because I come off strong
Doesn't mean there's nothing wrong
Hannah Field Sep 2018
I went to sleep
blood on the floor
of my life
there's nothing more
Hannah Field Feb 2019
Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with a color.

















Red...
Hannah Field Oct 2018
I feel like everyone hates me. But it's okay I hate myself to
Hannah Field Oct 2018
I loved her
but then she cut to deep
And then she was fighting for her life
She lost
Now i don't wanna be with anyone else
Only her,
so i just plan one more week
Then we'll be together forever
Me and my love
How stupid she was
I don't want to go so early
But she is my life
I miss you baby
Hannah Field Nov 2018
We're suicidal kids telling other suicidal kids suicide is not the answer.
Hannah Field Apr 2019
Living with mental illness makes almost every single day a battle. Will we wake up and handle our stress or will our brains completely derail and make us want to give up? Will today be a good day or will we fall closer to rock bottom again?

We KNOW we have everything to live for (kids, family, friends, great jobs, etc.) and we ARE grateful for those amazing fortunes...but something always haunts us. We are always fighting to stay on top and to control how our emotions flow out. There is always a fear, however small and maybe even subconscious, that today could be the day that breaks us or that we fall back down from however far we've climbed. Its a constant, conscious effort to survive, let alone thrive. Some days are easier than others. Treatment and/or therapy helps, but we're never "cured". The demon can be tamed but never exorcised. This is us.

We are mothers, fathers, friends, coworkers, siblings, sons, daughters. We smile through pain. We cling to the smallest hopes and continue to climb.

So show some compassion. Give hugs and high fives when you're having a good day. Check on your friends who may be slipping. Help them up. Show them you care, don't just tell them. You could be the light in someone's darkness that brings them back to life. #Depression #Anxiety #Suicide #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe
Hannah Field Oct 2018
I don't want you to save me...
I want you to stand by my side as i save myself
Hannah Field Sep 2018
You are a work of art
The thing you have been through
Make you more valuable
Hannah Field Sep 2018
A glint had caught a baggy eye
To spark a thought to jump the fence
Could I grasp the handle- was I shy
Of what I had to do and hence remain
Enshrined in overwhelming strife
Hannah Field Sep 2018
I wonder what would everyone do if I killed myself.
Got it they would all laugh and jump up and down because I killed myself
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Skin
so perfect
smooth and soft
canceling the pain within
suddenly the knife cuts deep
trying to cut away the suffering
that's hiding underneath a smile
a blood red waterfall
ending a life
whispering goodbye
forever
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Death is only the beginning is all she could say
as she cried sliding the blade
tears rolling down her fragile face
she was beaten hard out of her grace
heartbroken words written on her goodbye
This is her goodbye
Hannah Field Oct 2018
They say follow your heart... But what happens if your heart is in a million pieces what piece do you follow
Hannah Field Nov 2018
Roses were red
Violets were blue
But now all flowers are dead and soon I will be too.
Hannah Field Sep 2018
Why did you try to **** yourself...
You told me to be happy...
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Silly little girl
Don't fool yourself
They've seen your scars
Just don't want to help
Little do they know
How much it could change
With three little words
" Are You Okay"
Hannah Field Sep 2018
The rain got sad
when they shut themselves
in doors
but he
found a companion
in the little boy
strapped heavily
in books
who made his vocation his consumption
of every puddle
Hannah Field Nov 2018
Roses are red
Violets are blue
****, I don't know how to continue bye
Hannah Field Oct 2018
When I saw your body for the first time
I realized how war torn you were
how many you battles you lost
on your wrists
on your thighs
how many fires occurred
on your sides
your lovely sides
and how many times I told you
I loved you because I do
because no matter how many times
you have lost the battle
you will always win the war
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Sitting all alone with a broken heart
broken hopes broken spirits
everything is broken
why did you ruin everything?
what did I do wrong
I wanted to give my love
But all I did was lose my best- friend
and everything I love
Hannah Field Oct 2018
A broken mirror
A bleeding fist
A sliver blade against my wrist
Tears falling down on lips UnKissed
Ignore her and she won't exist
She's not the kind you will come to miss
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Just a cut
Just a scratch
What's that Mark?
It was just the cat
Just an excuse
Just another lie
What's with all the bracelets
It's fashion why
Just a tear
Just a scream
Why are you crying?
Just a bad dream
But It's not just a cut
Or a tear or a scream
It's always just one more till you die...
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Doctor: She is dead
School:The fat one? Oh yeah she deserved it
Boyfriend: I didn't even like her
Friend: At least I don't have to pretend I like her anymore
Counselor: I had to many clients I have to deal with.
She made my job easier
Hannah Field Oct 2018
When I'm gone what will you do
Who will write and draw for you?
Someone smarter- Someone new
Someone Better- Maybe YOU!!!

— The End —