I just want to write
Write out my feelings
But if you don’t have
Any feelings to start
With what do you do?

You are somebody’s world
Remember this
Even when the Universe seems big and you feel small
It truly is gigantic
But to someone
They couldn’t care less
If the Universe burned in hell
As long as they still have you.

If you can find a doorway,
I beg you to go through.
Even if you don’t see one,
I know you will later.
If the doorway is too small,
Or the hinges are rusted and stuck,
Carve your own door in the wood,
Walk through with child-like wonder.
If all the doors are locked,
And you’ve lost your carving knife,
Climb over the wall,
Don’t sit and wallow in your strife.

People wear
Masks too much.
Not just on their faces.
Why they do so
I only partly understand.

Stuck in a desert
The land’s dry and grey
Stuck in a desert
Far far away
Don’t miss food or water
Though I probably should
Of all things that I need,
I miss you more than food.

Why am I still smiling
When the mourning bird sings
And inner tears drip in a pool
And the fire inside dims and cools.

Im much too tired
To use my brain right now.
Sorry.
“404 Brain Not Found”
“Try Again Later”

Look up
It’s a beautiful life
A half-full cup
Only empty of strife.
Can’t you see?
Nothing to complain about here.
Sit down and BREATH
You don’t need to fear.

‘Cause it’s not as bad
As it seems to you
You could be glad
But all you are is blue
What happened to you?
The skies are bright
And it’s sunny outside
I don’t understand
Why you need to hide
Calm down
Why do you need to frown?

Walls up
You face away from all the pain
Just to see more of
It, so you run away again
Can’t you see?
No sign of rain about here.
Take a seat.
I promise you don’t need to fear.

‘Cause it’s not as bad
As it seems to you
You could be glad
But all you are is blue
What happened to you?
The skies are bright
And it’s sunny outside
I don’t understand
Why you need to hide
Calm down
Why do you need to frown?

It’s not that bad.
And it’s not that gray.
The pain that you feel
Will all go away.
It’s not that bad.
It’s not that bad.
It’s not that bad.

It seems that bad.

Crackle of the fireplace
I feel your special warmth,
So comfortable
Yet dangerous
My dear fire reborn.

You remind me of love, my darling
Fast and quick, then a slow burn,
Dancing in the moonlight I reach for your fingers
Only to be burned.

But scars heal and so do memories,
And I come back to you,
Even when you hurt me
I adore your precious gold hue.

The best music played
Can’t be heard or listened to
It comes from the heart.

For some people
It’s like a game:
Dance around Death
And hope you don’t get caught.
It’s like a battle game:
A game of Cat and Mouse
One day the game will end
And Death will prevail.

Love shatters like ice.
To be more specific
It shatters people.

Love is strong
People are not
Specifically me.

My presence is non-existent.
But you hear my whispers,
You crane your ears to hear me.

I am being drawn and quartered
By each expectation pulling away,
Tugging at my fragile sense
Of identity (if there ever was one)
Until suddenly, oh no! So suddenly
I am in pieces, and each person has only
A part of myself, that is all I can give—
I gave myself the death sentence, they’re
Only the horses that tear away my
Skin.

As they bolt away, I wonder
How far they will go until they
Realize
That I am no longer Whole.

I sit here sinking
Into the dirt,
Without feeling because I am on
The precipice of numbness,
A mere step away from screaming.

Words are so precious
So we mustn’t waste them on hate.

A muddled mind
Makes no sense
And that is why
It is the best
At seeing things
Illogical
And making them
Psychological.

A scrambled brain
Has the best ideas
Even when
It’s full of fuzz.
The brilliant
Have narrow scopes
They only predict
What they hope.
No one will know
What I am thinking
Neither do I
I’m just the one who’s inking.

Tell me to stay
And I’ll run away
I cannot do
What you ask of me, dear.

Tell me not to cry
Yet tears leak out of my swollen eyes
Why are you crying?
You ask.
“Stop it.”
I can’t.

Stress is getting the best of me
Overwhelmed so much I can’t see
Mostly
Because my eyes are blurred by tears.

Am I wood?
Sturdy but burns?
Am I glass?
Pretty but broken?
Am I metal?
Hardy but rusted?
Am I paper?
Pristine but fragile?
What am I?

Can someone please
Answer this important query
For me?

Once you grow older
Maybe 23
Does it get easier
When you are free?

Or does it get harder
When you’re not told what to do
Weighed down by responsibilities
That depend on you.

Does it get better
As time goes by
Or does it stay the same
Or does it get worse?

I’m a dreamer, a visionary
I see a future full of wonder
A fantastical fantasy
Where I might be free
But I can never be free
From me.

I live in the future
I dismiss the past.
Memories hardly forgotten
Rise to the surface
Just to be drowned out again.

I am a dreamer, a visionary,
But I am lost in my dreams
My thoughts scatter in various directions
And I can’t find the present again
The past creeps behind me
Getting vengeance.

it’s just them
in the square
and they’re alone
amongst a thousand people.

if a droplet
can stand out in a sea
that’s what they are
but if droplets can be crying.

i think that sometimes
people’s stories are so strong
that the universe
makes them the main character
for a moment.

Your magnificence
Cannot be handled
By such as I.

For your light shines so bright
Someone living in darkness (me)
Is blinded by your beauty.

Your dazzling delightfulness
Shocks me into a daze
Cuz dang it, that snow is bright!

We deal with our crap
And others’ problems too
Until we break and we crack
And we go KABOOM.

The dumb fool says,
“Forget and forgive!”
“Move on!”
“Get over it!”

The wise man says,
“Forgive but do not forget.”
“Move forward.”
And
Holds you while you cry a river.

It used to be so sunny.
There wasn’t a cloud in the sky
But now it’s raining (not raining money)
And I can’t help but ask myself why.

Why am I so blue
Why is everything turning grey
I’m missing someone (don’t know who)
Maybe it’s just a rainy day.

Why can’t I dance in the rain?
Why is the water so cold?
Why are the skies hailing with pain?
Why can’t I just do what I’m told?

Just LISTEN
Let me SPEAK
I’m breaking down and
I just want to SCREAM
Just so you would HEAR me
For once!

But instead I c r y.

Miracles happen all the time.
We just need to pay attention.
They are there.

We’re all a little cracked.
Or a lot cracked.
Some are even shattered
Because the world
Isn’t perfect
And neither
Are we.
We cry
Then we laugh.
We are flawed creatures.
But don’t
Let your cracks
Break you.
Flaws are beautiful.
A perfect human
Is not truly human.
A rose that never wilts
Is not truly a rose.
Embrace your cracks, people.

Fake friendship has lost its appeal
I only long for what is real.

Compliments I no longer crave
I have too many sins, too many mistakes.

Pity parties I don’t want to have
I might be anxious, but I’m not THAT sad.

Sometimes
I am so quiet
I’m afraid I disappeared.

I am not okay.
I cannot truthfully say
I am doing well.
The actual truth is
Life is too much for me.
I cannot imagine that
I can do anything.
Everyone tells me
I will never amount to anything.
I will never believe that
I have worth.

It is so real
It’s almost tangible.
You can hold it
You can’t touch it.

Happiness
Does not go away
As you give it to others.

It stays
And it grows.
A garden in your heart
Spreading the seeds
To the people who love you.

Living in a fantasy
Isn’t gonna change reality
This calamity
Can’t you see?
We’re breaking down
All this sound
Is slurring
These lines
Are blurring
Confusion rules the world
Leading to angry fists curled.

I feel to much.
Oh, it feels wrong to say that,
But logically, it could be true.
I tend to let my feelings
Get in the way
Of thinking.
But it feels to wrong
To not let myself feel.
But it seems the only way
To not make mistakes
Is to not feel.
I have been taught
To feel, but not to much.
Or to take a stand, but only if it’s uncontroversial.
They say be yourself, but only if your are normal.
Society tells me that no one can be perfect,
While also telling me to not make mistakes.
What do I do?
Which is right?

I will never be part of the mob
Sorry to disappoint, Mom.

I can’t seem to contort myself
Into expectations I never wanted.

What a shame,
What a shame you say.

What a shame?
Shame for what?
Being interesting?
That’s not how I see it.

Boring people are lowly peasants
And us peculiars are the kings!

When your heart races,
Rushing out of a dream,
And words leave spaces
And lines in between,
Where your heart heals
To be shattered again,
Like oceans surreal
Once the reverie ends,
Frantically you strain
To let yourself sink,
With a mind soiled, stained,
And brimming with ink.

You wonder this.
Well, you are honest and real
And you intensely feel
About your beliefs like I do.

Your not afraid to be weird
And when you failed, you persevered.
Your strong, but you won’t admit it.
Your humble and modest
And you need me.
Also, you love my crazy.

I love yours too.

Darkness is scariest
When it’s comfortable
When it cradles you
And you cling to it
Like a blanket.
Darkness is most frightful
When you want it
When it is your cover
Your only place to be real.

Is it so strange
To create
Without thinking?
Is it so strange
To express
Without expressing
Yourself?
Is it SO STRANGE
To simply create
For the sake of it?

Am I the only one who does?

The present
Is a gift given
By the past
Passed on
To the future.

I’m not sure
If I’m my own problem
All this time
Blaming others.

Is it my own fault?
Am I why I’m like this?

You’re stuck in a maze
There’s no way to get out
You got two paths to take
One’s easy, one’s not.
I bet you’re asking
“Is this supposed to be a hard question?”
But you didn’t hear yet
That the easy way
Will let you out in an endless desert
“Well I’ll take the hard way then.”
You might be thinking right now
But if you never knew
Which led somewhere safe,
Would you choose easy or hard?

Everybody seems
Terrified of what will happen
When one person or another
Wins this election
And it matters so much
But not so much that you
Need to scream at others telling
Them what to believe, who to
Vote for.

I want to say, “IT DOESN’T MATTER!”
Because we 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 that they will do nothing.
The president is only a single part
Of a single branch
And no one listens to them anyway.
These people may be dangerous
But they are effectively ineffective
And the greatest danger of all
Is how we choose to treat each other,
And no president can change that—
No president can take away this basic
Human decency.

So let us all
Vote personhood
For president.

Let us all look the
Fearmongers in their eyes
And say: 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥.

Barbed wire disguised as a sanctuary.
Decay in the comfort of a garden full of foxglove.
Attend meetings at cathedrals with pastors
Droning on and on beckoning you to come unto God.
But why would you when All Mighty and Powerful God
Deserted you when you needed him the most.
You have experienced too much to be comforted.

You stand stoic
Unemotional
Uncomplaining
Your face is a rock.

Your eyes bore into
My misty spheres
I wish I knew how
To not feel.

I can’t

I am not afraid of new places and things
I am not afraid of the unfamiliar
I am not afraid of change
If anything, I am afraid of staying the same.

Why are people so
Cruel
Mean
Horrible?

Why do people
Drink themselves
Into oblivion?

Why do people
Let their worst sides show
When their family needs them most?

Why are people any worse
Than animals behave?

Why can’t I answer these questions?

Stuck in the past
On a line that I cast
Afraid to be lost
Afraid of the cost.

What’s the worst thing
Worse than losing hope?
Not having it
For so long
That you don’t know how
To hope
Anymore.