How you so childish...
Yet, you so wise?


What are you, a Gemini?

Im a Gemini
Whoa I scared you there didn't I?
Did you see horns when my teeth came together?
Did you catch your rage in time to remember that I'm not the ex that hurt you? Or the friend who trash talked you to others?
Did your heart stop a few seconds at the thought of what that means to you?
So that means I'm inconsistent,
And I might even talk about a million other things before I get down to my point, but trust me when I say it all makes sense
It all ties down into one
And yeah I'm a practical joker but what's life without someone to laugh with, someone to laugh at?
And when you need someone to talk to, I'm that.
I can't say that I'll remember everything you said, but I promise that I won't pretend you never said it.

So this is it, huh?
Every morning I repeat the same old tired routine. But there's supposed to be more for me, I know there is.
Your 20's isn't your regular old 20's anymore. I remember being a kid when my sisters were in their early 20's I thought they were so big and lived exciting lives. They looked like nothing could slow them down, not the world, not themselves NO ONE.

Yet here I am, 22... trying to fly.
I want to ask them how'd they make life look so wonderful.

Because right now I could fill a whole room with my thoughts if anyone ever knew.

I can't sleep.

I close my eyes but I still see the **** I don't want to see

Faces I wish I didn't know of, faces I wish I didn't meet.

Places I wish I'd never gone

Things I never did.

And as a phone call is answered an abrupt exit

Makes me feel like nothing.

But I feel everything.

Since I met you, all I ever wanted to do was take pictures of you... and if there was a story to be told it would be one of how a girl loved a boy more than he loved her.
A girl whom believed that sacrifices are just adjustments people should be willing to make for their partner but more so because they know it will strengthen themselves.
But she would soon find that, that isn't true and people should never shrink themselves for the comfort of others.
The story will end abruptly midst their sixth year, and she will start to think that maybe he did love her, but a part of him didn't believe it would last forever.
And with that he barely tried.

I Don't belong here.
In this castle built with lies
stranded at the tallest tower
with nowhere to run
and everywhere to hide

I don't belong here
in this house of plaited gold
looking grand and innocent
the mocking oxymoron, masking
the nightmare that lay behind

I don't belong here
in this forced dream of fancy
in this perfect american family
that choked me into a whisper
complete with silent feet
and empty words

I don't belong here
stuck behind a wooden door
I closed myself
locked from the outside
with bolts of judgement
that my cowardice
won’t allow me to break

I don't belong here

So I lean my back against the gold,
and the stone and the wood
shut my eyes as tight as I could
and fought the instinct of flight
then I wished and wished with all my might
to live in the rose colored cliche
and wake to a golden carriage
with a price knocking at my door
ready to whisk me away
because I don't belong here
I’ve never belonged here
standing in plaited gold.