the dust will settle
and i will come
searching
under the ground
to find you

still breathing
still bleeding
still needing
air
my love
i will find one more
breath
for you
as you gasp
and grasp for
for heaven

but
my love
smile with me
let it go
for all we need
to hold onto
is the sky
between our fingers

hands holding tight
look at me
look
at
me
see no lie
place my promise
in your heart
where it belongs

and i will save us both

If it handn't been for you
I would've never stood here
With all these women
Competing to find
The strongest Highlander
I doubt anyone here
Is an actual Highlander

The one with the temper
She's from Spain
The ultimate butch
Is an Algarian *******
Finland and Poland
Are represented
And you, we may never find out
Who gave life
To your exquisite existance

But as I sat down under the pear tree
With you "dominant girls"
I hear a soft whisper
I wish I could reach up and give you one
I smiled and whipered back
so do it

And sure enough
As we spoke beneath
The tallest pear tree
One fell down
And hit you on the sholder
We roared from laughter

I said grace
To the voices
For restoring my faith
In that one voice
Who always echoes
In the depths of my heart
The one who has always been
Out of reach and out of touch
And it's fine
Because he's here anyway.

It all felt beneath me
For a few hours
How did I become
This very person
Who I never believed
I'd be able to be?  

Like things that
Didn't match a certain level
Were not good enough for me
think long term
I whispered to myself
Then I saw it all happen again

The girl with a well established
Self-esteem and self-value
Run down to the ground
Only to rise up
Roaring like a lion
Tearing down obstacles
Left and right.

I tasted the greener grass
And it left a bitter taste in my mouth.
What if I was there
For no other reason
Than to learn self-respect.
Self-love...

For one can only define me
As I allow myself to be defined.
I have not failed
On an epic scale
I've conquered on an epic scale
And I rose above myself
And what I thought I needed.
It just wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

And so maybe it's time
To go back home
And rebuild these walls
I once caressed with gratitude
And acknoweldge
That they have always served me well
And they have always been
More than good enough

Like myself,
They've always been perfect.
For who will judge my life
In the end of the day
When the sun sets
On my withered body
As I lay myself
To my final resting place?
Surely it will be me and no one else.

All of this came back together
With the humble presence
Of the most precious friend
I have ever held close.
You smiled and grabbed the hand
Of your girl.
In that moment
I remembered all that was dear to me
And all I have ever been:

The girl who likes to walk bare foot
With a heart that longs
For peace and all that is
Sacred and sweet in this world.

It's been years
Since I lived
As much
As I've lived
In these few days
I have never felt
Such a release
Of pure force
As I did
Flipping over
A tracktor tyre
At the Highland Games
With you.
Included in the strongest team
And the nicknames
Keep pouring in.
I haven't received
Such a gift
From anyone
For a very long time.
And the ideas
Just keep piling up.
So then how
Can you claim
To not have your life
Figured out
While you
So effortlessly
Arrange mine
To make me
Happier and healthier?

night's skirling strong winds
were more subdued before
the morn's dawning light