We are gathered here today
In memory of me.
The girl I used to be.
The one with all the love.
The one who the world made soft
The one who fell in love.
The girl who was so innocent.
We are gathered here to bury her in the past.
We are gathered here to put her to rest so I can join the world I long for.
Dearly beloved
I cannot ask you to forget her.
But promise to accept me.
With all my faults.
With all her scars.
Dearly beloved I ask you not to think differently of her.
But I ask you not to compare.
Dearly beloved,
Do not miss her.
She may be dead but to those who turn a blind eye to me, she is very much alive.
She is the fake smile and dead eyes.
The razor that calls at night.
Dearly beloved
Do not fear.
I am not going anywhere.
Dearly beloved,
I **** the person I used to be
In fear of killing the person I could.

I never wanted to be the kind of mistake that you wake up to the next morning,
Wishing you could start over.

I never wanted to be the girl you went to because you know she'll give you her time of day,
Even when you've never given her yours.

I never wanted to feel a pull towards you,
When I know that there's nothing on the other end.

I never wanted to do this with you because I know that once It's done,
We're never going to be the same again.

We breathe easy.
This is might be my first time.
My first time
Knowing what it's like to finally,
Feel okay again.

Our souls are in bodies that are too late go to the moon,
But too early too explore all of space.
This might be my first time.
My first time
Knowing that my heart is not tugging on an empty line.

My dreams are filled with your eyes,
Your voice.
My imagination is filled with the taste of your lips rested upon mine with such urgency and such passion.
This might be my first time.
My first time
Knowing that when I rest my eyes the world will be filled with your light that shun the demons away,
Even if it's just for a little while.

This might be my first time.
My first time
Loving someone who might love me back just as much.
My first time without questioning motives
Just going with it.
My first time
Knowing that my best friend is scared because she can feel the love coming from both ends and knows what a tragedy it can be.
My first time
Standing at the edge of the cliff
Waiting to jump
Knowing that two arms are waiting to catch me.
And when they do,
It will be
The first time.