Happy Birthday, Jesus.
Happy Christmas Day.
We have been bad, so now is the time
To bow our heads and pray.

    Happy Birthday, Jesus.
    What's it all about?
    You made the cake and you made the wish,
    But we blew the candles out.

Happy Birthday, Jesus.
Listen while we pray.
Please tell us why we can't get along
On this Christmas Day.

    Happy Birthday, Jesus.
    What's it all about?
    You made the cake and you made the wish,
    But we blew the candles out.

Happy Birthday, Jesus.
Though we've gone awry
Give us the strength and show us the way,
And we'll give it one more try.

    Happy Birthday, Jesus.
    What's it all about?
    You made the cake and you made the wish,
    But we blew the candles out.

Happy Birthday, Jesus.
Here's our gift to you:
It isn't gold or frankincense,
But a promise to be true.

    Happy Birthday, Jesus.
    What's it all about?
    You made the cake and you made the wish,
    But we blew the candles out.

I don't mean to anger or jar you,
But you've hit on a pet peeve of mine;
To answer your question, "How are you?",
I'm required to say, "I'm just fine".

An unlikely pair of symbionts
In harmony do swim
Through sunny, tropic waters,
Beyond the coral rim;

'Tis strange, for one is monstrous
And one is like a lark;
How oddly they are mated,
The pilot fish and shark

As the president pardoned the turkey
From a fate so horribly grim,
He couldn't help but wonder
Who would be pardoning him.

There once was a fellow from Blythe
In fear of loosing his life.
    He ended his dread
    Of winding up dead
When he cut off his head with a knife!

There once was a banker from Kent
Whose life was fanatically bent
    On saving each quid
    Like no other did
And moaning with each pound he spent

A Jack-o-Lantern, it's said,
Had the brain scooped out of his head;
     He was only as bright
     As the dim candle light,
But boy was he handsome instead!