When diving into my gaze immediate purgatory is immanent, understand the pressure is immense. 
Acknowledge this compression to the Earth. Imagine it made you feel more than a single scorch coal. 
Understand this heavy glare was seeing you for the jewel that you are.
You refracted light and casting sudden exodus to my darkest corners.
For the moment understood the twinkle in my eye, was you.

Fighting handfuls of tiresome nights The plight of tossing and turning takes a yielding turn to my mind
Such repression pillows over my face
Reminiscent of earlier drawn into a daze
I exhale conscious inhale dreams begin a lovely pace and appeared
Upon the Subconscious
Guest in a house of woes and love without a mortgage with stories that fill books

I'm tired of forcing you out of my every thought.
Convincing myself I don't want you isn't working and I'm sure it hasn't worked for anyone.
You can't just flip a switch and forget about someone.
What if this person was exciting?
Made you feel desired?
Made you want to get up in the morning?
Why would you want to give that up?
--
The truth is, the possibility of us is all that it's ever going to be.
A possibility
A what if.
A maybe.

And even though it hurts, I don't want to fight my thoughts anymore.
I'll think of you until I'm ready to let the idea of you go.
That's all you are anyway.
A stupid idea.

I feel like a black hole
when I sit at the bar.
Like there is no amount of liquor
that could fill this bottomless well
and people keep falling in.

I can hear them cry sometimes
finger nails clawing at stone
until the tips are rubbed raw.
Ghosts wailing in the dark
a throbbing in my chest,
Poe's Tell-Tale Heart.

I spoke to one once
at a queer hour in the morn
she said "It's beautiful down here"
even as her body was being torn
into billions of subatomic particles.

"It's beautiful" she cried
"I've seen the end of time
I've seen galaxies form
I've seen star's collapse
and again be reborn
I've seen life emerge
and I've seen it destroyed
I've seen it all with my eyes
and all the bad you've done,
all the guilt you carry
it isn't helping anyone
it's ok- it's ok-- it's ok---
to let yourself be happy"

I so badly desired
to have faith in her words
but I've never been one
to believe in ghosts.

click, click, click*
Typing away letters in the dark
One for mom who never really saw
One for dad who was never there at all

click, click, click
Writing letters in the dark
One for my sister who ran away
One for my brother who had no choice to stay

click, click, click
Letters in the dark
Dripped with blood
Coated in tears
Letters in the dark