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Lexi Mar 2018
“I went to bed
with flowers in my hands and woke up caressing a riffle” -Amanda Frances
Lexi Mar 2018
What if we aren’t depressed;
What if we’re just the only ones who see the world as It is:
Broken, heartbreaking, beautiful, blind and deaf.
Maybe we aren’t the broken. Maybe they are just misguided
Thoughts
  Mar 2018 Lexi
oUt Of sYNc
You're the Error 404
I keep getting
But I still refresh
  Mar 2018 Lexi
oUt Of sYNc
Call it ironic but really it’s just hypnotic
Seeing a noose dangling down the ceiling a bit too dramatic.
Who wouldn’t be an addict? To the idea of the end for all wax and plastic.
It’s a bit of a craving for something erratic; I won’t lie.
Feeling ecstatic, statically excited for my last goodbye.

When it’s restriction keeping you from the unholy affliction,
There’s always this small voice of contradiction in your head.
Telling you to stop just as the friction of the rope on your neck has been fed.
A voluntary crucifixion of your depiction of you
Constructing your fiction to world eviction to be true.
Valediction of your own jurisdiction whispering as though
Thinking it through.

Yet I stop, I can’t go through with this.
#
  Mar 2018 Lexi
Spades
Suicide is a crazy thing
Because once it’s in your mind it just continues to ring
No matter how long you ignore it for, or however long you look out the window for
He is just standing there, patiently waiting for you to open the door
It could be months, **** it can be years, he will always be there however long you ignore
Suicide has been knocking at my door for some time now, though it doesn’t seem that he is getting impatient
I’m sure it's because sooner or later he knows I will have to open the doors and let him in
Sometimes I open my window and have a talk with him
Talk to him about my day, about my struggles
He never responds though, just smiles back
I have to fight the urge every hour of my life just to simply not give in
It's getting harder day by day to keep that door closed
I’m sure it would be hard for anyone to keep away their only friend
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