I swear everybody wants to call
Somebody
Their Valentine today
At least for 20-30 minutes

‘Hey...just seeing how you’re doing. Happy Valentine’s Day. Remember me? Got any big plans tonight?’

I can’t wait sometimes
For this life to end
So I can ask
God
Allah
Buddha
Great Spirit
Hey Zeus
Steve McQueen
Jack Kerouac
Coronado Cortez
All those *******
Just why
Why
They gave you to me
To love for only
A small amount of time

The only answer I’ll accept
The only answer I’ll believe
From any of those *******
Would be:
‘Because I just felt like ******* with your heart...’

We grieve in silence because
We think that’s how we’re
Supposed to heal
&
Then destroy the first person
To come along who really wants
To help us

By the time we realize this
Their pillow is gone
Their scent is with the wind
Their turning key to bring
Them home

Is with somebody else

And so it came to pass
On the eleventh hour
On the eleventh year of
Her demise
A
Sojourn
Was convened as a final
Will and Testament
Was finally processed
And just by happenstance
A lover of hers appeared
Long grayed
Frayed
And tattered by years
For his appearance
Was summoned for matters
As he was included
In her final sentence
Her final wishes
‘As for my dearest...’
The estate
With it’s abandoned greenhouses
Cobwebbed interiors
Failing structure
On the outside
Were his
........
And as he made his way
Haphazardly around
The lonely walk
His boots clanking on the floors
Room to room to what was
Now his property
Remembering
Fondly
The love made there
The smells of fresh
Lilac
Her gait
Her hair
Touch
Shuddered him to think
As he made way round each corner
‘Was that her?’
Couldn’t be
A giggle
Clank clank
His boots made
Dining hall
Chairs covered in slips
Cobwebs
Candelabra where they burned
For hours
As we sipped endless bottles of wine
‘We did didn’t we?’
A whisper
Quickly turn around
Nothing
Room fills with the frigid
See my breath
And there
Couldn’t be
Beloved Gwenivere
‘Dine with me once more my love...’
Twas but a trap
To keep him forever...

I promise
To raise all kinds of hell
With you
So our heads
Hit the gates
Of heaven

There’ll be a moment
Maybe mid 30s
Maybe mid 40s
Maybe your whole life
Where you stop
Gaining things
Money
Knowledge
Friendships
Loves
And you start
Losing them
Money in your accounts
Knowledge lost on deadend jobs
Friendships that you outgrew
&
Loves

The burial of parents
The ‘We’ll always know each other
Become just another thing
You lose
The
Hello
&
Goodbye

And if I wake tomorrow
Only to realize you were just
A dream

I’d want a potion
To make me sleep
Forever

...with you...

Put a flower in your pocket
Wait
For the sun to set
Loosen the change
Put a kite in the air
Electric nomad
Knife ****** into the chest
Feel about
Pull it out
Cut the wires from it
Blood everywhere
Let it dry
Pat it down
Hours go by

It still beats
Laden with scars
Scratches
Memories lost to rain
If you look closely
You’ll see your favorite
Songs
Impressioned upon it
Your favorite words
Tattooed upon it
All of my
Sentiments
Written upon it
All of your
‘Loves you...’
Forevered
Upon it

Put it back where you found it

A man at 40
I can honestly say
Still in love with the woman
From when I was 20
Two decades
Twenty years past
10+10
Drive past the house you grew up in
Hoping
Praying
That you’ll come out of it
Our tree is still here
Our initials too
EK
EL
What’s gone
That restaurant we held hands in
That gravel road we made love on
Is paved now
Your old phone number
Just rings and rings
That shirt you bought me
On my 21st
Probably in a landfill
That shoebox full of our Polaroids
1998
Selfies
Gone too...
But you
So far away
Close to my heart
On good days
Are gone too

You’re the reason why
At the beginning of
Revolutions
They drag the poets
Into the streets
&
Have them shot

Poets
With their ideals
Compassion
Courage
Inflicting the masses

They always shoot the
Poets
Not the pastors
Teachers
Laborers
Politicians
Press

Poets give hope
Even when they
Themselves
Have none...

Good medicine or bad medicine
You protected me
Like a mother would
Shielding me
Even if my clouds were dark
My eyes red
My skin made of scales

You still made something
From me
Saw the good
Even when I didn’t want to be

There should be a
Hello **** Poetry
Site
For soccer moms
Basement dwellers
Gothers
And those who
Think they can write

‘This is how we feel...’
Is what I’ll hear
But I’ll tread without fear
Take my time
To rhyme
For about 80% of my poetry
Is **** too

Ask my exes
My 2nd year creative writing
Teacher ms Larson
Would agree
‘Your Words go nowhere Eric...’
Except to
Hello **** Poetry

If
You’re gonna run from the cops
Do it when you’re young
Young enough for them
To release you to your parents
But do it once
If
You’re gonna fall in love
Do it when you’re old
Old enough for you
To forget all the loves before her
Let her be the last woman you love
If

If all...
You’re known for in this life
Is loving someone
The right way
Just one
And you put all the distractions
Temptations
Sinful nature
Of us
Away

You are brave
Truly

Enjoy that

For what it’s worth
You’re never too old
To start a Facebook account
I hope you live a life worth
Posting up
With a face that doesn’t need a filter
A life filled
&
Full of Likes
Retweets
&
Comments
And if you find that you don’t
I hope you find the strength
To start a fake account

There’s an empty space where
Your heart had it’s nest
Fly away it has gone
My arms cold
Your side to never be made
Again

There’s an empty space where
Your words once had a home
Now just a blank piece of paper
Ruins of cities we built
White canvas
I’ll never return to

There’s an empty space where
There once was a girl and a boy

There’s an empty space where
There once was a raging current
With all the fishes of the sea
Where I float upon it now
Waiting
For the piranha
To come and feast upon my
Pain

Where there once was sunshine
Now there is a curtain of thunderstorms

Where there once was happiness
Now there is infinite sadness

Where there once was flowing
Beautiful words that matched
You
Now there is nothing
&
You
Are
No longer
my world

My Words are my own
Now
You don’t have those rights
To see what I’m writing
Anymore

Just know...
He’s had lives & loves before you
Remember that when the bricklayer or the mechanic
Asks for your hand
You’ll receive one flower
Instead of a dozen roses
Picked on his way home
Handwritten notes in your shoes
Instead of Hallmark greetings
Elaborate dinners cooked by him
Where he said he’d clean
Afterwards
But didn’t
Spur of the moment
Road trips
Instead of planned vacations
The opening of windows
For the springtime thunderstorms
Listening to the beat of his heart
While the rain drops
Drip
Drip
I
N
T
O
The drain
He’ll write you with jazz playing
Wine in his bottle
Records in his head
Absorbing you into his world
And if he dies before you
And you bury him
And you mourn over him
Lasting for years
Remember his flower
His notes written just for you
And if you see his ghost
Haunting you
Then the Poet
Has fallen forever for
...You...

If you give a Poet a cookie...
He’s gonna want a cup of coffee
And not just any coffee
But the good stuff on the high shelf
And if you give the Poet the Kenyan Organic Whole Bean
Reserved for your best company
He’s gonna want creamer
The good Whole Foods
$5.69 creamer
And if you give the Poet the
Expensive creamer he’s gonna
Want to sit down and talk
Of great books
Great music
And he’ll notice you’ve got
A record player
And if you have a record player
The Poet’s gonna wanna go
Through your collection
Your Fleetwood Mac
John Coltrane
Tom Petty
Nina Simone
And the Poet will put his coffee down
And look at the back of that
Nina record
And tell you that
‘This song...this song
‘Reminds me so much of what
‘Love sounds like...’
And you’ll look at the Poet
Cause he just touched
Your heart
Made it skip a beat
And you’ll think to yourself
‘I just might invite that Poet over again tomorrow...’
But if you do
That Poet is gonna want a cookie
And
If you give a Poet a cookie...

Everyone from the age of 10 knows that the best
Sick Day
Movie is ‘The Princess Bride’
Even if you’re playing hooky
‘What about The Empire Strikes Back?’
Asks my 10 year old
And now I have to rethink
Everything

If I were to ask her when she cried today, before she’d answer I’d say
‘9:22’
&
She’d say
‘How did you ...

I just know
I just know

470,000
Words
In
The
Dictionary
And
She
Knows
The
Only
3
Words
I
Want
To
Hear

She took her gasoline can
Emptied it on my branches
My leaves
My outer bark
Covered me
Doused me
And stood on the edge
Of my forests
My green
She knew what she was doing
It had been 3 long months
Without her
Without a word
4am Monday morning
I saw the match
Drop
‘You haven’t written in a while
‘Are you okay?’
Let this fire consume us
I don’t ever want
To put it out

Behind those three thousand
Followers
Behind those plastic pouty lip poses
500+ Likes
Mouse ears & nose
Doe eyed filters
Hearts
Behind the
‘What does everyone think?’
Lies
a
Very sad & lonely
Soul
If there is one at all

I don’t even care about words right now...just want to stare at pictures of you all day...

Only god & the devil know how much
I love you

I only believe in one of them...

‘Look at the moon! It’s so beautiful...’
‘We should get a soda...’
‘Are you hungry? I’m hungry.’
‘My Mom & Dad are kinda crazy, all parents are aren’t they?’
‘I know it’s hot but we should turn the ac off and roll the windows down...’
‘Guys are jerks sometimes...’
‘I thought you were cute...’
laughing ‘DONT UNTIE MY SHOES!!! YOU SILLY!!!!’
‘I wanna go to Europe someday...’
‘You read too?!’
‘I had SOOO MUCH FUN!!!’
‘You like me? Really? Aww Eric....I like you too...’
‘I don’t want this night to ever end.
‘I don’t want to go home...I want to stay with you...’
‘Look at the moon...it’s so beautiful.’

July 17th 1999
It was a Saturday
Humid night
You had a white t shirt on
I remember everything you told me that night
Even if I don’t remember
Anything I said

Stood there waiting
Staring, unblinking
Pitch dark
Could make out the front door
The silver on the counter
That’s it
5...10
Minutes go by
Wanting something
Anything
To come through
A
Silhouette
A
Face
A
Hand
Even if cold & dead
To touch me
In the darkness
To let me know
I’m not alone
‘I’m here...ready to be haunted.’

Nothing
Even the spirits
Have better things to do

I remember slipping on the side
Of the pool
Phoenix Arizona
Motel
Drowning
In the care of my dad
......................................
I see him jumping in after me
He was in his early 30s then
Sipping Coors
Poolside
Not watching me
.......................................
It’s ok
He jumped in after me
The water was hot as it came out
Of my lungs
*********
I don’t remember my dad
Being brave after that
Maybe it was the only time he was
Pulling his 4 year old son
From the water
On a hot Arizona summer day
At a motor inn
###################
I wonder if he went back to
Sipping Coors
After that traumatic event
I know I would have

When I close my eyes
You’re still dancing
17
Smell of fireworks
In the air
Everyone left for home
We were buzzing but
We made love
In my car
You said I was your first

And to hold onto til morning
And I did
Together for 2 years

When we broke there was no
Drama
2005
Found out you’d passed
Traveled across 5 states
For my dancer in the dark
I know you know this
But I stayed until everyone
Had gone
Your mom came up to me
Told me
‘You were her favorite...
‘She told me she wanted a family with you...’
I was doing okay until she told me
That
And I cried with her
Like everyone else
I could live to 100 and you’ll always
be
27
But in the moonlight
You’ll always be
17

Seconds tick away time
Time away from you
I
See you in the corners of my
Eyes
Waiting for me
In my time away from you

Isn’t easy
For me
Waking from dreams of you
Even there you walk away
‘I want to tell you everything...’
‘Stop...’
And I walk along the sand
Hand in hand
With nobody
Just like the lost...

Birth
Kindergarten
High School
College
First love
Marriage
He cheats
Divorce
Settled for lovers
Move in
Work, Sleep, Get Up
Repeat X20 Years
Stuck
Traffic
Bosses
Work, Sleep, Get Up
Remarry
X5 Years
Old Knees
Worry About Work on Vacation
She Cheats
Divorce
** Hum
X3 Years
Buried Parents
Not Paying Attention
Near Death Experience
‘I love you My Children...’
Quits Job
Plane Ticket
Nepal
Everest
‘WeHaveToTurnBack!!!’
‘IHaveToDoThis! IDontKnowWhyButIJustDo!’
Summits
Freezes to Death at
28,000 Feet
^^^^^^^^^^^^

Wars have a way of turning men
Into poets who thought they would survive to write about it...

We’d been fully awakened
By the thought of being empty
4am
Plus several minutes
Of being let go
Set adrift
In a ruptured tidal wave
That we’d never prepared for
Blue washed over us
And I held on as long as I could
Riptide
Pulled us apart
Undertow of time
Pebbles and wet sand
Now underneath my feet

Listen
Do you hear the tide release?
All through the night
Watching wooden ships
Crash into the reef