First I freeze
Raging inside
Anger building
Gory wrists
Ill to the eye
Lost soul
Even you can’t save her

Worrying mannerisms
As she sits in her chair
Talking to herself
Unable to look in the mirror
As she is afraid she’ll maul her own skin off it’s flesh
She just wants to be happy
Feel normal and laugh
But she struggles to express
Even love.
it makes her cry
The wall just won’t budge

The tree sees everything
Kiss my knees before you go
You should do that
Look for me in every petal or leaf
In every wing of every creature
In her eyes, every feature

Watch the kids from the pantomine
Lollop in a ring
The one hiding behind the scene
Plans to cut the rope
Chandelier landing in the center
Toes crumbling falling apart
Screams fly like sparks
But they can’t stop skipping
Would you rather not speak or die
Id die if I couldn’t say what’s on my mind.
Though I don’t really talk anyway I write that’s what I do
I’m silly, would you rather not write or die.
Not know a love language or die

You gaslight me into insanity
I’m not flattered by your vanity
Truth from distortion
You can’t deceive me
It takes a shattered mind to see
A white rose bleed.
Don’t you wonder
Don’t you sonder
First step possession
Second step control
Third violence
Don’t manipulate
Don’t guilt
I’ll hurt you more
sink my teeth in deep,
quench out the fluids in your brain
You won’t sleep.

He flapped his gums
Spewing sore words
That came not from the heart
But the depths of delusion
We were not kindred souls
I don’t believe you could understand
But our tongues forbid to belong twisted.

A year ago today I tried to take my life
Placed rocks on my body
To stop me from floating
Looking up to the surface hoping
I’ll go quick
But each second felt like a minute.
Sunk, fearless.
Listening to the pipes
Underwater I thought I’d hear less
But my thoughts were louder than ever.
They blocked out the sounds of my brother crying to my dad over a broken toy
I couldn’t do this to them,
They need me more than I need myself.  
I guess I’ll live another day.
But my thoughts are so loud.
Static.