I've never been single for more than
A month or two since I was eleven.
I think the one thing I have learned the most
From all of that.
Is how to be alone.
How to be alone
With your psychotic mental diseases.
With your eating disorders
With your self harming
With your abuse.

My best friends are
The bottle,
The knife,
The toilet.

My confidence has been denied.
I have very well tried.
And I will try to understand
Why you want to keep me hidden
Where no one can see me.
But you don't even want to know
What I have to say
What I have to feel
What I want to do.

See,
Everyone has always tried to own my body.
My parents,
My eating disorders,
And now you.

Which is why I still feel alone.

I'm okay without her, like hiding behind her, without her, because missing a moment of her is just not an option, and because she's my whole world and she could destroy me at any moment. Running through her pictures as fast as my fingers will allow, partially because I want to kiss every face she has, and mostly because they're all perfect, and I can't pick just one. Yes, it burns to see her face, but for this I would ignite myself, for this, I would give up anything. I've laid on this tile floor for the past five hours, and everything I've seen for the last three days has been at the bottom of the sea. I can wipe it away, but it always comes back because it belongs here, and I feel like I belong at the bottom of the sea. Maybe you're asking yourself why I hold on to what is tearing me apart... Well, I first and foremost, would die for her. Everyday, I would die, and everyday I do ,because I love her, I always have, since the very second I knew how. I have loved her not only in this life, but in all the past lives. She's been beautiful in 100,000 forevers, and 100,000 times I have always loved her. And I have never needed anyone before her, she is everything I need.

She's the woman I'd stare at and she'd say nothing, because the type of nothing she has is the type of nothing that means everything. She could break me over and over, and it always hurts like hell, but each time I heal, and into a better shape, for her. One of our biggest blessings is our ability to dream, to take yourself to places that only the deepest part of you knows, your souls desires. Things your mind could never fathom. I dream of her, but she's real. I am who I am because of her. I wanted to write because she wanted to write, and I wanted to laugh because she laughed, hers is perfect, and now I know, really, I just wanted her.

She makes everything in this world matter more than it did, I've never loved a cheek before, and I've never missed a set of lips so much. That's how I'll always love her more than anyone could love another, because I fell in love when she walked, and I fell in love when she spoke to me, and then I fell in love when she smiled. I fell in love while she slept and I fell in love with the way I fell for her. I fell for every part of her, one by one, so many times I'm sure I spent most of my time on the ground picking up the little pieces of me that couldn't wait to be hers. It doesn't matter how big of a crowd she is in, it never did, because I found her. I found her once, and I will always find her, so she'll never be lost.

This day I was able to show the world what I've waited so long to show them. She is perfect, and no matter if I'm a man, a fish, or a tree, I will only love her.