If I was to **** myself, it'd surely be today. I feel hollow as an abscessed heart.
This is why there are alcoholics.
This is why children grow into derelicts.
I can't escape the torment which circles my soul, and only the devil consoles me.

Crumpled up and tossed in the garbage, you had no chance

A heart too big and too much care, you had no chance

Feet that only carry you to a grave, you had no chance

Eyes that see only memories tinged with pain and remorse, you had no chance

Childlike wonder and fruitful vision, you had absolutely no chance

I'm gonna start using women like objects, I'm really over it.
I get ghosted by the women I want and who proclaim will "never leave 💕💕💕" and that I'm their "one and only 🥺🖤" Months lost. This is a world of sociopaths, so what's one more snake

I'm getting what I want now

Some dude named "Dust" would always contact her
"Why don't you just block this guy if he's such a nuisance?" I'd say
"He finds ways of contacting me and he keeps bothering me"
"Yeah, but why do you even engage?"
And she would engage working her little thumbs, amused with the dysfunction.
He was a drug user afterall and incredibly manipulative. I'd hear about this guy all the time and how he was supposedly dangerous and had guns. I'd laugh.  I have guns too and am prone to mental instability but I'm not outwardly dramatic in the fashion he is nor do I really make a show.

But alas, a month or two went by and the relationship wasn't working. I wasn't crazy enough
and when that time came she blocked me.
I reached out one time after and there was no response.
Everybody has a choice, she made hers and Dust is still there in her head somewhere.  Don't be a 2nd

I can't feel my toes due to the lack of a circulated hot air system delivering heat within this space.

My breath blows and is visible like Puzuzu

I take out a solid white piece of paper and make a few scribbles.
The names are written and spell out the
people I used to care about , which is about 1 too many

The day is long in its nothing
I sit with a head wide open

The ants torment
the remains of
a little girl in the kitchen

The feathers fall along the trail

The pit is deep and so is the
longing

Max wants to beat up everyone
He has a lisp and a hunchback.  He thinks everyone actively conspires against him. I ignore him

Today I stole 3 milks more than the usual 1
Even a tangerine

I took the longest **** I could because I feel like I'm being molested on a daily basis and I'm entitled to that time.

I sat with Alyssa in her car while she talked about her boyfriend and the fact that he subscribed to an onlyfans and that she now feels betrayed. if I could put my genitals in her mouth I'd be content in the moment

I got no reason to wake up.
My alarm went off 20 after clock in so I called out sick
I am sick

very