I really want a girlfriend
,.  I think..

But I really just want ***. That is all.

I could lie and manipulate and hit up girls that would gladly have *** with me but they want more and I feel cruel to mislead them.

I wish I didn't have these urges. I want to be alone , but I also want to feel human warmth. It's just never a certainty, even when you're married.
I'm too average for immediate hook ups; It's days of talking for me.
I'll figure out what to do, assuming I've learned anything , which I haven't

Lost again
With a blue cap on in the 20 degree rain
My dog is on a walker

I took a big bite and left some for you

Weve been mistaken for vagrants; that comes with being clean and 23

I was thinking about you
I have my geetar
Play me a song about your sorrows, mostly
Made up

She's a new mother
and she's a beauty

Full of anxiety and uncertainty
I kiss her slow
  and feel the etchings on her arm

We drink a little bit and then do some other stuff.
The TV is annoying so I turn it off

When the day it awakens I remember
That
I never got to meet her,
I only dreamed of her and that's where she'll stay because I don't
get to meet any *******
   manic pixie

I've lost myself so many times

No words

drain goes down

and so do the crumbs of another crowd, hollowed out in
your heart

This is your job

I have a gun behind the oatmeal in the left-hand cupboard.
I like touching it when I scoop oats into my saucepan for further cooking.
Sometimes I **** the trigger and put it in my mouth and perform ******* on it
I want to swallow a gun's load because I'm
gay enough to die

Fake ******* *****
"I'M SO WEIRDDDD, I'M INTO ALL SORTS OF CREEPY **** 🤪"
the second I mention that I collect animal specimens she blocks me
It just hurts because I liked her face
I wanted to wear it

Tapping a phone screen in a yellow room with white walls,
breathing in chemical solution from Tuesday's
mold treatment
The ham sits half eaten, half defrosted.
There are dead women in my head who despite being dead still haunt my soul with vindictiveness.
There is animal hair on the rug and amimal feces in the flower ***.
A horn sprouts up from behind the TV wall.
There is a percolating coldness and it falls over me with the understanding that there is no escape.
My car is in the junkyard, my money
is in a billionaire's pocket,
my sanity is squandered concentrating on vicarious social media delusion.
I am a modern day human and nothing is wrong here.