One day. One day, I tell myself you could possibly love me.
Love me the way that I have always loved you.
I repeat the phrase over in my head,
Turning it over in my mind
Like a stone before its skipped across a lake.
But I don’t throw the stone,
I hold onto the idea of us.
As if it could be,
As if it was meant to be.
But it’s not.
You make explosions in my heart
You are the depth charges in my sea.
But I can’t make ripples on your lake
Maybe it’s because I am still holding onto that stone
But I am not brave enough to find out.

"You're the prettiest girl in the world",
He tells me and seven other people,
Sprinkling complements in conversation like rain in spring.
You told me you loved me once,
But then you also told the girls that came before me.
Those sweet summer lies that drew out into winter.
The nights grew cold and so did your heart,
Killing the flowers in the garden that was my soul.
After the frost you left me to plant my own flowers
But I have no green thumb.
Nothing that compares to your fingers
That made flowers sprout in my mind and body.
Flowers of every hue that danced in the light of your smile,
But your smile faded and without my sun and stars
There was no light to dance in.
Without your voice there was no music to sing to.
But that wasn't the end.
You stuck around until my flowers turned to weeds,
And there were thorns in my garden.
You stayed but I was alone with two hands
Trying to fix a mess built with four.
You watched me struggle
To be something you weren't even sure you wanted.
I begged you to help and you promised you would
But your love was a lie you told with the practiced lips of a con artist.
You didn't help
And I fell apart

He said I was useless
Like chewed gum
Splayed out across the concrete
And like that gum
Too many people touched me
For him to stick to me like I meant something