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"I love you" he said
"I know" she said
"That's all you have to say? " he asked in disbelief.
"I don't think it's considered okay to lie this early in the morning, so let's enjoy watching the sun rise and from there I'll  see how I'll feel in the next two or  it could be five years, then maybe I could give you the response that you expected." She said this, unaffected as she  looked beyond the mountains the sun was rising from, pretending to see a future she could never picture with him.
I hate myself!
I hate myself!
I hate myself!
Maybe if I say it more than once, I'll stop believing the lies I tell myself each passing day.
The constant praises I give myself when I know my actions will someday lead me into a pit no one can get me out will be the reason for my downfall.
It has me wrapped around its finger and I no longer have the strength to uncoil myself.
Save me!
Save me!
Save me!
My thoughts are not coherent I just really felt like writing something.
Do you know what annoys me the most?
The fact that you're gone and all I think about is you!
It makes absolutely no sense to people that see me, that I am at ease with obsessing over nature. They don't get it, nobody does! We are born into a world where we are forced to survive when there's absolutely nothing worth living for. Is it just me who thinks life should be for those that want to live it? Those that have lives that matter in this world? People like us aren't meant to exist. We depress people with our lives, our mere existence could possibly be a waste of time. I don't care that they think I can be saved. 18 years of feeling like complete **** can't be erased now, it's a part of me now, a part I can't just let them take away. Depression seems to be the only constant thing in my life. I've had too many labels put on me, you better not dare try to remove any of them. They're a part of me already. Staying strong is for the strong, I was born weak. There's not much to live for don't you think. I didn't sign up to watch other people happy, I'm not going to sit around and wallow in my misery. If I'm not meant to be happy then good just ******* remove me from this world of happiness and put me with my people.
Everyone in the world
is as miserable and empty as I am,
they're just better at pretending.
  Feb 2017 C h a n t e l l e
Traveler
In the events of
Hell
Choose sanity
And hold on
Beware the quickness
Of the loaded gun

Turn down
Replace
Escape
Substitute a better fate

Leave such alone
Obsession spinning
Out of control

Survive to live
Another day
When these evens of Hell
Finally fade
....
Traveler Tim
re po
They never did,
Get it right.
The wiring inside my head.
Some switches flip far to quickly,
Some it seems,
Not at all.
I've come to accept it though.
I can't exactly get in there,
And I've never been much,
Of an electrician.
But hey!
That wiring is me.
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