i wish i could hate you
but how can i,
when i don't know who you are?
lately ive learned
with the passing of time
people are changing
like the sun and stars.
how could i expect you to be different?
you nor i are the same as we were
many days and nights ago.
but i was happy then
a meaningless crush so simple and pure;
you were smart and kind
innocent and so full of life
so i clung to the idea of what if
and i held onto to it like a vice.
it's been too long and tiring and hard
time goes on and i need to let you go
but part of me will always pray
some far off, distant day
when i meet you on the street
you won't come up to me and say
"nice to meet you, hello."

you haven't changed me, but i've changed because of you
because there was a time when i'd have let you sweep me off my feet, call me yours, dance to the same beat
but as i lay here and try to recall how i once felt, i feel separate from my own mind
i told myself it was supposed to be you;
luck, or fate, as i'd once say, would be on our side and we'd end up in eighth period chemistry laughing til we cried
but i know now that my dreams of a pretty prom dress i'll never wear can be no more; my feelings once held for you are ones i'll never share
so even if that night i once so desperately wanted us to spend hand in hand goes awry at least i know i have enough strength to never let you see me cry.

im too old for the innocent 'what if' that i feel when i see you
being near you is peering into the looking glass of who i've become
your face gives me comfort with an always lingering uneasiness
like the first stretch in the morning : your restless bones being set free but tightened by the cold 6am air; almost satisfied but never contented
im worried that i'll be the one that fades before my feelings have the chance
sickeningly entranced by you when my body is experiencing what my mind should be too
my faith in fate is robbed and im left to hope it returns with a new you, giving me signs my wasted time will be returned, hanging like a shiny remembrance on a shelf in my head

If he calls you pretty
Cut him off
You are far too exquisite for degrading words such as those
If he says he is different
Do not return his call
Those words light a flame of false hope that burns down every wall you've built up
If he does not try to understand
Slam the door in his face
You have no need for a coward