I don't know the whole story
But it's all gonna pass
You shouldn't feel sorry
For shattering like glass

thank you for your time!
this has been irrelevant, useless and not fun,
much too confused and much too lost in its meaning
time to turn off my fairy lights
and paint over the galaxy ceiling
my succulent died, i too had my funerals
four times too many.
don't forget your coat and complimentary flowers.
•
[end credits]

Save me this one last time.
Don't break me this time.
Take the heat away from me, like that time
You send away, leaving me behind.
Making me blind
Taking my mind
Away.
Save me from the war inside my head, at last.
But please, don't break me, at least one time.

I have many tiny corpses
Of memories, feelings - sorrowful losses,
All lie in my mind
My personal little garden for the dead,
For the best of them.
from where my personality stems
Grass and flowers grow into a meadow.
Only sometimes i know...
i notice tints or smells or sounds
Of people, places from my past,
A constant déjà vu, a search
For what? I still don't know.
There's a face that i borrow
And only when in my garden
I take it off, i'm hollow no more
I am nothing, a bunch of organs.
And it feels so peaceful.
When i'm nothing i feel more like myself.
Maybe i just need a break from people.
But then they force me out,
I'm alone in crowds, i wander around.
I can almost hear a train coming
I sit down, I'm waiting.
I'm in a field, where city's hand
Won't reach me, take me away, it can't.
Peace and quiet,
if no one minds, I'll stay here for a while.
I'm just so exhausted,
I wanna spend sometime in my graveyard, think about whether it had cost it...
No, if it was worth it.
******* and your money, i'm tired of your money.
We'll talk about it - not today.
Just..let me be
I want to ponder on the faded.

I don't wanna be your dog
That you pick up from the floor
When you feel like being loved.
And when it ends you throw me out
You know, it's really ******* cold.
On the edge of your bed i fold
Too many times, you can have more.
You know what? Have it all!
No big deal - I'm tied to a pole,
forever yours, i'm never home.
I never talk,
No place for me in your monologues.
Gave you all without a thought.
I'm tired of waiting by the door.
And i don't like being alone
I too wanna feel loved.

You still don't know my name
What if i died today,
Right now, dear May?
Would you remember my face
My eyes, my lips, my neck
Or would you forget
My whole existence
Just like that?
Let's find out
I promise i won't even fight.
Just turn off the light.

And if i stayed
Will you pretend I'm not here,
That i'm a mere feeling,
That with time will pass.
You've nothing to worry about.
Go on, my love
Wanna watch me die?
i've been for a really long time...
Maybe i already did in your eyes.
Tell, would you. please, my light?

Happy, ugly, warm or cold
I can't change the story that has
already been told.

There will be somebody listening
There will be something sickening
In every other word,
Perhaps the telling will be too bold...
And the theme might get too old...
But that's how those stories must be told.

The poor stay poor
The rich get richer.
The story goes on
Even when the teller is long gone.

I am nothing more than a hunger.
I think we have the same one.

lean over me
and throw up,
get the toxins out.
lovingly
i held your words in my hands, like a cup
it's covered with crystals
the colour gently flows
in my eyes that light glimmers
so raw and honest it hurts.
and although the red tint in my cheeks burns
it could never ignite.
i am a runner
i am running from my life
from the hunger
at least that part
where I'd have to **** off my heart.
lovingly
i'll clench my fists
and throw your crushed down words in the sky
and i'll have a feeling of being kissed.
and when you ask, i'm not gonna lie
i have been lying all the time,
i'm sorry but that's the way it goes
what's gonna happen?who knows!
i hope you find someone who'd want to be yours
but i'm not that person, i am hers
and she holds me lovingly
while i'm needing her silently
she still knows, unsurprisingly

what is your soul made from?
Crystal,pearls and other shiny things.
What is your body made from?
Glass, stone and sharpness noone sees.
But what are those strings tied to every part of you?
Those are strings that tie up my life.

My heart, I have never asked you
If you were doing fine.
Until you ached
For a moment I thought I was having a heart attack.
Since then I never see,
I never feel, I never know.
Oh, heart, where have you gone?
If you fall down
I fall apart.
Please don't break, my heart.

But if you run off again
I hope to see you sooner than
My feet turn cold, my eyes stop seeing,
Thought my heart will never stop feeling.
I will wait behind for you to come
To raise your hands, to pick me up
And bring me home
Where I'll never feel alone.

bundles of linen sheets, moonlit floor's an island
and i'd gladly drown in the darkness with you
i'd stay in the darkness just to go with you, doesn't matter where to.
but you know that i couldn't follow you to the sea

so i guess that's the best i can do here
only whisper to the trees and morning birds and waves
plead with them, beg them to get the message, my words, a few
hope, standing on my knees, that the wind can find you
wrap it's arms around your waist and whisper kindly into your ear,
the words are barely there
but you will know
always. i remember you
though i haven't uttered the words much needed
i am shouting now, oh much too loud
i shriek in hopes you hear a whisper

Fell apart with a single touch.
Bruises form from the softest kiss.
Tears roll down on any occasion.
Been keeping them at bay for so       long.
Now they flood on your whole   life.
I thought you might reignite my
Fragile heart
Before I-

Laying on my back
I am watching our stars:
For now they are far away from each other.
But
Baby believe me the winter will come
  We will meet once again.
   You will be older
   I will be saner.
  You will hold someone else's hand
And I will be held by the wind.
The night will be cold
The sheets will hold our heat underneath.
Blown out candles and blown out trust.
You will look vulnerable in my arms
After a while you will be back,
Sadly, you are only going to watch me float away.
Away from shallow waters
Into the deep.
I will not need you
Nor your mouth
Not even your lungs.
Now I can be my own ship and my sailor
That ship will leave you in a day
At bay
Alone with your disease.
Then we will be strangers
That don't remember each other's names.
I will not even remember mine.

I am more than my dreams!
I am different things!
Now I'm cutting these strings.
I only want to know what life means,
What my heart feels.
I hate a word that clings
On my skin.
I wanna come clean!

I've heard them say that i am older than i look like
that i'm probably a elderly men on the inside,
with wrinkles on his face
and this warmth and an old person's feeling radiating from his self,
so wise and so sad
the man, who'd let you have his hand
whenever you're scared
or a shoulder that's fits your head only
that soft and spongy one to cry on
and it's like it never get's soaked.
just so kind and so old.
i know what i'm not
even if it's exactly what I'd want
to be
sadly,
my childlike spine is fragile.
i have way too many shoulders even now
and what'll happen with time?..
i want someone to tell me how
to live my life
because so long so far
i feel like I've been messing it up,
tell me what to wear in the mornings
tell me a better way of making coffee
keep me in check
feel the pulse on my neck.
i don't know if i am more
than that thing i look like
i'm just present
i'm here,
looking at our broken belongings. an accident?
i'm not quite sure,
but they are on the floor,
and my piano flew out the window
i need more room for emptiness
now that everything outside is filled with people so sad,
the stand in line
and somehow they have the time.
it's bizarre
what people can keep inside
and i listen wide-eyed.
keep talking.
when the time's right
i will head out
and draw my curtains shut.
and they'll keep on taking.
keep going keep burning.
and I'll drop my head on my chest
flooded lungs, my shirt's wet
then i'll feel me bubble
then I'll nod with compassion
and we'll drink for all your troubles
keep talking.
maybe i am sad
but should i feel bad?
can i just be
roll around in my wild roses, watch my rhymes roam free

by tomorrow
  you will be longing for something else.
  and I will be locked here to melt.
  dripping straight chlorine in my mouth
can't stop can't get enough.
love to hate you for leaving
without saying a word.
I forgot you
but chemical still lingers in my throat.
Have to build my brain with pieces again.

what am I doing in this place?
where are we all running in this race?
how do I breathe?
how do I live?
tell me, because right now I am suffocating.
Sometimes I wonder if all those thunders
Suddenly crash above my head.
Then I wish that I just bled.
Catch my breath
I can't face my death
Now that I know I am without you
I can't be alone after that too
No.
I wanna stand up
Without breaking apart
And stay up
On that place
Until I can't feel my legs
Until the cold takes over
Until I am under.
I can't face this alone,
Please don't turn into stone.
I am fading away
Come take the weight
Off me now.

She is lying beside me.
Look, my love sleeps peacefully.
Fingertips on your back dancing gently
Come a little closer
I'm telling you it's okay.
You don't have to fight
I pull you in, it's alright,
I hope to be here all my life.
You're the one my heart has chosen,
when I'm with you, i feel like time is frozen
And we have so much space
For ourselves and all our future cats.
(i think grey ones are the best)

blank



page



is


not


that

deep.

just
write
something
wor­th
reading.
something new,
that actually has a meaning.

By the morning we'll have grown back.
We'll meet again, two strangers, start anew.
Is this a good thing, my love?
Do you want to?
I'm loosing again, my friend.
"Tout est devenu flou.
En peu trop fou"
Still can't get rid of my accent.
I did try, for you.
At least that's what i remember.

I have finally hit a dead end.

I'll come again to you
To show that gasoline has soaked through my clothes
And all my bones.
Don't light your match, not yet
I might blow up and you'll regret
Being close to me like that.

i have someone kiss the skin that groans from you

burning out
but never really running out of flame
the water's the shade of your favourite coat hanging on a chair at night
and i remember you
our miseries, how they cost us all we wanted

sweet music but the tune is off
the strings along my spine are hard to reach
but you always know where to start
and so i hear different gasps every other night
the stranger they are the better it gets
and sometimes rain falls to the beat of their heart like clapping hands
but i - remember you
how we kept out the burdens, careful not to make too much smoke between us

Looking at the note of someone
Entirely mad.
Took it from the large pile of those in my closet.

Wrote them yesterday in the middle of another heat wave.
When everyone was a bit insane
On edge of melting down.

I read them last night
Thought that I could find there something worth my time.

Instead, I found myself staring
Through the inked pages
Right in my doe eyes.

Night air reeked of
Someone else's sweat and broken dreams.

The fresh winds ruffled through the light blue curtains.

Stars dazzled in the distance
Some of them got stuck in my growing horns.

Oh peaceful night of woken mysteries!
Sometimes I wish for you to swallow me whole...

Forgive me for all my dreams, tainted red.
All those words that broke through my cracked lips.
You have no slightest idea of
That repelling aftertaste.

The whirlwind of feeling froze.
Something outside this walls
Called out on me, luring me with its breathy voice.

Looking out I saw a pack of deers Passing under stars,
Walking slowly, as if to show their beauty and freedom.

A cold refreshing wind tore the note out of my clutched hands and all those left hidden in my stained closet.
Tore the past apart right in my sight.

I breathed out,
Not realising how badly I lacked oxygen.

Shed of my clothes I stepped out if the high window, not looking back.

I heard the sound of hooves hitting hot pavement.
I looked back just to see a limp body on the ground.

Walking faster, then running.
I ran.
Still hot air changed to fresh
After I left the feverish city.

In the end I come to you
It's you.
It's always been you
And you are my cure
Help me live another day
So I can write another poem
About you
For you
And you.
My moon
And stars
Are you.
My life my love are you
The only word I know is you
So what am I supposed to do
Without you?
Would you be my sun and air
And everything that is there
So I can feel you
And only you.
And be with you
Until I run out of ink
While writing the last word on my skin-
'You'.
For you
And only you
I'll drown inside you
So come near
And just drown with me, dear.
My love, my word, my world
My end.

When did we loose control?
My spine is now a shattered mess.
Don't you pick me up, you might bleed.
When did we get so cold?
Closed the door with you behind.
Covers cold as are my bones
That is my love.
What happened to your soul?
I just want to know what hides behind
What was going on in your starry mind
That night
When we broke apart.
I thought that we were close.
Now our love is poisonous.
We only stand on the edge when we are close
I guess the door into your heart is closed now
When we are one step from falling.

Youre such a mess
Made of smoke and confusion
Ever forget to make a conclusion
That the dream you see is not a delusion.
The rain
In your brain
Has washed away
The colours.
They were to fade anyway.
Loose your soul
Seeking a mistake in perfection.
Storming seas of you,
A hurricane within your ribcage
A rain falling on your delicate frame.
I can see your fragile spine.
I wanted to fell you and call you mine.
To be a part of your perfect storm.
To heal what once been torn
Apart.
My love,
It's different now.
In your waters
I will drown.
You will run away
Into arms of your lover, prey.
I will be sinking like a stone
Waiting for the darkness to come

behind my eyes
i live with haste
it's crowded place.
tonight
it's tiring
to be myself
oh i'm a mess.
in the dark
i'm wide eyed,
it's a success
when i take a deep breath.
and i watch her sleep
i think that's glitter on her eyelid.
i feel present,
by her side i'm helpless.
my darling
it's not that hard to hide it,
but i would be lying
if i said it's alright
to feel this sad.
Oh if you can
please hold my hand
while i hold my head,
and i will breathe your air.
oh hell, i love your hair
and the way you smell.
oh i am warm again
and for a brief moment
i'm fine
whilst being alive.
hold me for an hour
a month, a year or a hundred,
hold me for a lifetime.

light me a cigarette
smoke wraps around me
just like your arms.
grey clouds heave over silk sheets
night air absorbs the sounds.
breathe in my smoke
cover your eyes
turn around.
a moment won't have time to pass
i will be already gone.
lit me a cigarette,
you were the only one
who cared enough for me

"Can't you just love me?
Can't you see that I'll be gone?"
Your love matters more
Than the air I breathe
Your sight heals those wounds
I got along the years.

But you only advert your beautiful eyes away.
Then you say, on the edge of breaking apart.
"I can't. It's not the way I was made. I love you. Not like that."

Now I understand that I only Played a part.
A role in society's horrible play.
She shook her head violently,
Tears streming down her face. Pressed her head against my shoulder.
It was never just a phase.

I put my arms around her lovingly.
Even if it's she's not mine to chase
I am never gonna let this world make her feel lonely.
Not even if she gets lost in black cold space.

weirdly, friend, tonight
feels like
all the stars are for my eyes only
now that i think about it, i might be lonely

Breathe me and i'll sing to you
Without you i am empty
I'll do whatever you want me to

The more we hold inside
The easier we are to burst
The lighter is your mind
The higher you will go

What would you do, if you knew you'd die in seventeen days?

You'd be that person you've always hoped to be,
You'd live your best live
Unleash all those secrets you tried to hide.
You will love an be loved.
Those days would seem like forever.
Like hot summer days with the sky of this burning world
melting down the collar of your favourite shirt;
The sun would get stuck in your eye,
Making your lover's face shine
Like that star you kissed under.
You wouldn't be able to get enough.
Do you really believe that?
What if you'll walk alone
Down the road
With noone to hold?
Will you feel more hurt
from loneliness
Than when the world
Goes up in flames?

I know I couldn't care less...

I like your hands
Even when they're not in mine,
Moonlight on your skin
Even when i'm not around.
I will live for you
Even while you're gone.
I know you need a rest, my love.
But after that - please, hear me,
Something is wrong:
I've been lost for too long,
well..it did happen before.
But don't leave me alone,
not here, not now,
I think that time might come
when we float amongst the stars.