I’m not so simple as I say I may be
My heart and my soul longs to be heard
And there’s so much within someone that usually is never seen
Nor ever touched
If only one could possess what it takes
To bleed out my traumas from within
and mend me with purities
And many don’t do any Justice to this
For their so simple
I long for someone to see my sadness through my smiles
To feel my body trembling as I show no fear
To know my rage through my tears
I’m not so simple as I say I may be..
My heart and my soul longs to be heard
I long to melt into someone’s arms
And to find my home within their eyes
To hear their voice and know I don’t have to look any further
For I’m not so simple
My longings are too much for the simple
And the simple just don’t do the Justice of this

It is raining outside
As it’s also raining within.
I am Lost for words.
Body embezzled
Mind imprisoned
As I just lie here while everything is still moving around me.
My heart is deep
My voice is soft
My eyes close and all I see are
Colors of mahogany and deep red wine and the smell of jasmine..
Feelings ruffle about within my mind
And then there’s..
The longing to be felt
To be heard
To be touched
The lingering thoughts
The prolonged nights
The yearning of love all while lieing here while everything is moving around me

Hot and cold
Night and day
Up and down
Overly happy to..
Everything’s grey
The spin of the draw
And what’s it going to be today?
I don’t like this
I don’t read minds
As much as I want to read yours
I let your silence be your response
I won’t beg or plea
I believe in just letting you be…
I love positivity and light but your starting to take mine away and leave me in the dark..
Now it is night and you’ve made me feel your darkness..
I don’t like this
As I lay now just feeling cold as I won’t beg you or plea to just bring back my light ..

I want to cry with the thought of losing you
Why is that..

I’m anxious to know you
I want to see the deepest darkest sides of you
All of you
the good the bad the ugly
..and with that ugliness I’ll bring out the beauty in it .
I don’t know what it is
But you have captivated me
And my thoughts..
Now I smile
Now I laugh
I feel overly happy and it’s you your  bringing this to me ..
It’s you

I feel lost without you
Your voice your words

The looks you make
You made me feel ok
And now without you here to talk to I don’t quite know my direction

I feel out of place
And I don’t like it
And at this moment there’s nothing I can do to fix this

While your without any control of this situation and how it goes
Im only about to just sit and wait to hear from you…

Tears don’t shed so easily any more
The hurt is the same
Just Within
Just the realization of no cure
Barring reality
That everyone seems to be the same
Why is it that when
One gets what one wants
… they don’t want it anymore
And time and time again
I’d give it my all
To just be sitting here
Sad and discouraged
Alone
I just wanted you to be my person
My best friend
But I have to just understand this is reality
To have myself in the end of it

Happiness is a choice
You choose your energy and what you put out into the world each day
Even on my most darkest days I can promise you I know how to bring the light and with my light beholds warmth and love
as I wrap my smile and my heart around you to clear away your clouds
Embrace me as I come near
Pain and sorrow are merely lessons that you can’t let define you
There is beauty in everything
It’s a choice
You’ll see💛